Posted in coaching, Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, mindfulness, Relationships

How to truly appreciate…?



“There is nothing I need so much as nourishment for my self esteem”

I have always been aware of genuine praise and ensuring that the key elements are in place:-

  • Feedback
  • Evidence to support the praise/feedback
  • Quantify it – make it specific to the individual

However there are so many other elements, spontaneity and acknowledging an individual for a specific skill/talent, authenticity in the praise ensuring that it is not flattery.

Fundamentally in the words of Alfred Lunt (Broadway Actor)

“There is nothing I need so much as nourishment for my self esteem”

We nourish the bodies of our children and friends and employees but how seldom do we nourish their self esteem? We provide them with roast beef and potatoes to build energy, but we neglect to give them kind words appreciation that would sing in their memories for years.

Identifying a specific skill or talent, can change a persons life.  Years ago a teacher in Detroit asked Stevie Morris t help her find a mouse that was lost in the classroom.  She appreciated the fact that Stevie had something that no-one else had in the room. Nature had given Stevie an amazing set of hears to compensate for his blindness.  This was the first time Stevie had been shown the appreciation of those remarkable ears.  He now says that was the moment his life changed and his gift of hearing led to his new life as Stevie Wonder.

Recently I received handwritten thank you for a workshop, it was so personal and specific it was the best nourishment to my self esteem I have received in a long time.




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