The true definition and sense check as to whether you are being assertive, is to “say what you mean and mean what you say…”. We often have others trying to derail us by deploying aggressive behaviour and hooking us into following them (behaviour is contagious). We only need to articulate our view of the world and not overly exaggerate.
Being assertive is a safe haven, we use adult behaviour where everything is just as it seems. We say it exactly as it is, no embellishment.
5 essential ingredients on how to be assertive:-
- Empathetic listening
- Show you understand the other person – summarise key points
- Say what you think and feel
- Say what you mean and mean what you say – next action is
- Consider the consequences for yourself and others of any joint solutions – responsible assertion