We are toughest on ourselves, your inner dialogue would shock others if you were to say it out loud. Many books have now been written on managing those voices. Famously we have the Chimp Paradox where Dr Steve Peters says that immature voice is our Chimp and we can manage it. What tools or weapons do we have to combat that negativity.
The new tactic is kindness and the methodology comes from the book, The Kindness Method by Shahroo Izadi.
Start your day with 30 paperclips in your pocket and every time you say something negative in your head about yourself, transfer a paperclip to the other pocket. The accumulation of paperclips might be a wake up call of how often you are unkind to yourself. The transference of cruelty is given a number. You can use marbles, buttons or pebbles in jars anything visual that just highlights how tough we are on ourselves.
This alone might not be enough for you to stop the habit of negative self talk. Therefore another exercise from the book is to create a map called “Conversations about me”. This is about committing to paper all the awful things you have said about yourself. The second part of the exercise is to create a map called “Some-one I love”. When you populate a map about some-one else you are positive about all their hopes and dreams and you only want to give them good advice and wish the best for them in everything.
When you look at the two maps you can see:-
- Negativity Vs Positivity
- Uplifting Vs Destructive
We would never give advice to a friend or some-one we love that would be cruel so therefore be kind to yourself. In a nutshell ensure that you are:-
Hit a pause button in your head and think about the three words above and imagine you are guiding some-one else rather than yourself.
Be kind to you.
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