Vulnerability fuels our daily lives, it is the one thing that can measure how courageous we are. In order to talk about vulnerability we have to have the conversation about “Shame”.
Dr Brene Brown the author of Daring Greatly says that Shame was the one that brought you to the party and goes hand in hand with vulnerability. Shame is the focus on ourselves which is not the same as Guilt which is a focus on our behaviour. The Gremlin or the voice inside all of us “You are not enough” is the Shame voice – The Gremlin. Shame grows at a rapid rate if you are silent, secretive or judgmental. The survival package for Shame is empathy, the less you talk about Shame the more you have it.
Examples of Shame:-
- Shame is shouting at my children
- Shame is being made redundant
- Shame is being called out by my Manager in front of a Client
To get back to each other and be connected we have to embrace each others vulnerabilities and share them. If we put ourselves in a position of vulnerability we put ourselves into the arena of life and we are seen by others. We have to believe we are enough as it starts with ourselves first and then we start listening to others.
From Dr Brown’s research there emerged a theme that people who have a deep sense of worthiness or in her words our whole hearted embrace their vulnerability. They are not necessarily comfortable with it, however they see it as necessary.
There are three main themes that a whole hearted person has:-
- Courage – to be imperfect
- Compassion – kind to self first and then to others
- Connection – As a result of authenticity
In summary you have to be seen and love with all your heart, practice gratitude and joy and believe that you are enough.
Put yourself out there and Dare Greatly…
Please do attend the nuggets book club on Friday where will be reviewing Daring Greatly by Brene Brown. Please send me an email firstname.lastname@example.org