Posted in Bite size learning, Emotional Intelligence, mindfulness, Time management

Killing time…

 

Most people complain about not having enough time, so why would you ever need to contemplate killing time.  All good time management courses get you to fill the time you have and be prepared for transition time so there really are no voids.

When some-one else’s agenda is forced upon you and they are in position where they have nothing to do in the space you “kill time”.

Initially if you are slipping off a busy agenda you mentally fight the imposed time you have been given to waste.   We adjust slowly and there is now so much visual stimulation that do we ever totally switch off.  The phone is a constant link to another place and time you could be at the moment when you are supposedly doing nothing.

Managing time is all about managing our own behaviour and another choice as to whether we choose to kill time and relax into it.

Time as a definition is “A non spatial continuum in which events occur in apparently irreversible succession from the past through the present to the future”.  We can accept the flow from past/present to future or we can mourn the passing of time.

The most positive approach might be:-  “Don’t count every hour in the day – make every hour in the day count”

Please look at our website www.nuggetsoflearning.co.uk for 90 minutes of learning on managing time or contact bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

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Posted in Bite size learning, coaching, Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, Management, personal impact

Behaviour Vs Attitude…

We can only comment on what we see, not what we think is driving behaviour. So an example would be:-

Alice always appears very unhelpful when people enter the department, she never welcomes anyone.

We could make an assumption that she has a bad attitude. However we must only give feedback on the observable. Our personality is made up of values, skills, beliefs and attitudes we have collated to be our unique self.

Alice needs feedback on just behaviour that we can see:-

Alice I have seen that every time anyone enters the department you never look up, you never make eye contact with them or say anything”

 We would hope that Alice might explain, she hates being at the front desk, she has always been shy, she did not realise it was a requirement or she said sorry and was keen to do it differently.

Think about the balance between a behaviour and an attitude, what is behind and what is driving it. You often notice more when some-ones behaviour is not in sync with their usual demeanor.

A very handy mnemonic to keep you on the right track (“SBI”):-

S – Situation – what can you see happening?

B – Behaviour – what are they doing, only observable?

I – Impact – what do they think could be the impact of this behaviour?

It is always better if an individual can self assess their behaviour, no-one likes to be told where they are going wrong.

Please do get in touch if you would like your team to have a workshop on feedback.

www.nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

and contact bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

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Posted in Bite size learning, coaching, Emotional Intelligence, Goals, motivation

Moving forward…

Employee engagement drives bottom line, however what does engagement mean and how do you help employees connect with the company.

Teresa Amabile and Steven Kramer co authored the book the Progress Principle which explored the question of when people are motivated and engaged at work.  They recruited 238 people across 7 companies, and everyday they completed a diary entry and a questionnaire.  After 12,000 days worth of data Amabile & Kramer drew conclusions from the information.

The most conclusive result was that people are most motivated when they are making progress on meaningful work.  The most powerful thing to excite, engage is moving forward even if it is a small win.  That is the progress principle.

The terminology the pair used in their book was “inner work life” – what moves you forward?

What was the most startling find was a negative impact can be 2 or 3 times more damaging than a positive move forward.

We therefore need to be most aware of our nourishers and our toxins.  These can be people and also environments.  Think about a place where you are really productive and a place with the opposite effect.  We make the choices as to where we spend our time and we need to ensure that we look after ourself by the environment we work in.

How do you keep yourself moving forward?

  1. Stay focused – know what you want to achieve
  2. Track small wins – write down what you want to get done
  3. Spend at least 30 minutes each day on meaningful work

How do Manager’s apply the Progress Principle?

  • Catalysts – Share clear goals, with milestones and quick wins along the way
  • Autonomy – Empower team members to take initiative and responsibility
  • Resources – Provide the right materials at the right time
  • Human support – Being there

Please do contact nuggets for a workshop on “Understanding your Motivation”

www.nuggetsoflearning.com 

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Posted in Bite size learning, Emotional Intelligence, personal impact, Relationships

Getting your message across…

Knowing when to communicate and how to get a message across effectively is a skill in the digital age that we now live in. To cement relationships we need to steer away from the easy option.

The communication needs to be valid and memorable. Therefore we need to plan and prepare as we would with other forms of work.

The story below highlights the need for communication to be personable:-

A man and his wife had been arguing all night, and as bedtime approached neither was speaking to the other. It was not unusual for the pair to continue this war of silence for two or three days, however, on this occasion the man was concerned; he needed to be awake at 4:30am the next morning to catch an important flight, and being a very heavy sleeper he normally relied on his wife to wake him. Cleverly, so he thought, while his wife was in the bathroom, he wrote on a piece of paper: ‘Please wake me at 4:30am – I have an important flight to catch’. He put the note on his wife’s pillow, then turned over and went to sleep.
The man awoke the next morning and looked at the clock. It was 8:00am. Enraged that he’d missed his flight, he was about to go in search of his errant wife to give her a piece of his mind, when he spotted a hand-written note on his bedside cabinet.
The note said: ‘It’s 4:30am – get up.’

Think how often you communicate with people during the day.  You write emails, create reports, prepare presentations, debate with your colleagues and chair meetings.  We spend an entire day communicating. To provide clear messages and ensure they are received use the 7 C’s as a checklist:-

  1. Clear – ensure you have included all the relevant information
  2. Concise – stick to the point
  3. Concrete – does your message land – does it convey passion
  4. Correct – no spoilers, good messages can be ruined by grammatical errors
  5. Coherent – logical flow
  6. Complete – call to action, what is next…?
  7. Courteous – friendly, open and honest

Please do contact nuggets for a Communication Toolkit workshop www.nuggetsoflearning.co.uk 

Posted in Bite size learning, coaching, Emotional Intelligence, mindfulness, personal impact, Stress management

Managing “You”

Have you ever heard the voices in your head as you reach for the doughnut.  One is clearly saying go for it, you deserve it, the other is saying do not eat it.

Dr Steve Peters the author of the Chimp Paradox explains who the voices are and how to keep on top of them.  We have the Chimp speaking from our limbic brain, with its basic reactive response and its short term view.  The other voice is our Human mind is the prefrontal area which is thinking of consequences and evidence and taking a long term view. The other area of the mind which will guide both of them is the computer, where memories are stored.  This will let you know how good the doughnut tasted last time, and equally how guilty you felt afterwards.

The Chimp only provides suggestions and we must remember these are not actions to follow.  The key is to always manage the Chimp.

The book provides 4 strategies for doing so:-

  1. Exercise it – let your emotions out with someone you trust
  2. Reward it – give your Chimp a banana, if I get this done we will do this (eg. eat the doughnut)
  3. Box it – use your Human brain to work with the Chimp, evaluate suggestions
  4. Distracting it – count to 10 backwards, this prevents the Chimp being reactive it pauses it

There are many mind management systems out there to manage your emotions however not many have such successes attributed to them.  Dr Steve Peters worked with the British cyclists Sir Chris Hoy, Sir Bradley Wiggins and Victoria Pendleton.

For more help on working out your responses please do work with nuggets as a personal coach or delivering a 90 minute course to your team.

http://www.nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in Bite size learning, Emotional Intelligence, mindfulness, personal impact

What is being assertive…?

There are only four behaviours and yet we find it so hard to locate the assertive voice within us.

We know that it is being true to ourself and saying what we genuinely mean, however we find it hard to articulate.

The other behaviours that get in the way are:-

  • Aggressive – too strong as a voice
  • Passive- too weak
  • Passive/Aggressive – not really our voice

Behaviour is contagious so if some-one raises the voice they unlock within us an equally aggressive tone.  We need to instigate the pause button to release the assertive behaviour which is very simplistically, “Say what you mean and mean what you say”.

Adam Galinsky explains that speaking out is all about finding a your own personal range, the voice that works for you.   Being sure of the perspective you see in front of you.  He tells the story of a bank raid where the banking clerk just asked why the amount was so specific.  The bank robber explained it was the rent his friend owed in order to prevent eviction.  She calmly suggested that they chat through a bank loan rather than proceed with the raid.  The calmness and empathetic approach of this bank clerk prevented what could have been a very catastrophic situation.

Being sure of the perspective you see in front of you is all about being assertive.  In the book “Getting to Yes” by Roger Fisher and William Ury they repeat that the best negotiating is always to look behind the position and ask why it matters.

We can deliver an Assertion workshop in 90 minutes at your workplace, please do visit our website to find out more http://www.nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in Bite size learning, coaching, Emotional Intelligence, personal impact, Relationships

Developing emotional intelligence…

What we achieve is a marker of success, however how you conducted the business will stay in the memory a lot longer. Whether you gain repeat work is often decided on whether the interaction was pleasant. Retention of teams is down to how well a leader deploys their emotional intelligence and whether you want to continue working with them.

The good news is that we can work on your emotional intelligence and make it relevant and practical. If you use the five concepts from Daniel Goleman’s research:-

  • Self Awareness
  • Self Motivation
  • Self Management
  • Social Awareness
  • Relationship Management

1. Self Awareness – “What shadow do you cast?”

What memory do you leave in peoples minds, do you cast a really good impression of who you are. Is every interaction with you consistent and therefore when people meet who have met you in other separate situations they have the same view.

2. Self Motivation – “What gets you out of bed?”

The drive to push you forward comes from within, you don’t need a line manager, telling you the way. Clear goals and a future plan, always self directed.

3. Self Management – “When to react and when not to?”

Managing your hot buttons and being emotional when appropriate and being aware of slippage of inappropriate outbursts.
4. Social Awareness – “What signals are you picking up?”

Being emotionally astute you will know when some-one wants to talk and when they don’t. Getting really skilled at “reading the signals”. People often indicate they want to connect with you through their body language and not verbally, so you need to be aware of all the indicators.

5. Relationship Management – “What frequency are they on?”

Understanding some-one else takes a relationship to another level and this happens when you use empathy. Stephen Covey describes this as “Seek first to understand before being understood”.

We can measure our emotional intelligence by simply giving yourself a score out of 10 each week in each of the five areas.   You will know where to develop and breaking them down you can accept slippage and learn from it.

To demystify emotional intelligence attend a workshop with nuggets and take a look at our website for how we work with companies www.nuggetsoflearning.co.uk