Posted in Bite size learning, Change management, Emotional Intelligence, Learning, personal impact, Relationships

Everything has changed, but nothing has changed…

I am back at the desk of nuggets HQ having taking a temporary leave of absence for a month. As the title says “everything has changed, but nothing has changed”.

The last month I have been caring for my Mum alongside my sisters and Step Dad, and very sadly she died on the 25th April 2022. My whole world will never look the same again without the person who created me in it. However the world keeps spinning and less you hold on you get left behind.

In grief you find the normal things like making a bed really calming as there is little emotional input and the procedural aspect of the task gives you perspective. The times you feel derailed when you can see no end in sight for the person in pain and you have no capacity to change the trajectory of the outcome.

Throughout my absence I have been reading “The Atlas of the Heart” by Brene Brown and the comfort of unpicking emotions and experiences has also given me an amazing sense of my self. Understanding that meaningful connection only happens if you talk about your emotions.

I remember reading that Gill Hicks who survived the 7/7 bombing in London, returned to her desk and tipped the in box that the team had kept untouched straight in the bin. Her view that nothing mattered but everything mattered, after what she had just been through.

I think of the many books I have read in the nature of my job and many will help me now forge ahead with maybe a slight change of heart or mind.

  • The Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown
  • Feel the Fear and do it anyway by Susan Jeffers
  • Start with Why by Simon Sinek
  • Who moved my cheese by Dr Spencer Johnson

Everything has changed means a new view of my work, perhaps a boldness that was lacking before, however to be sure the things that have not changed are being true to my values.

“Helping people to think differently” by making a difference

“Achievement” my anchor value of progression which will move me forward ensuring that things do change.

I will shortly be starting a bookclub for The Atlas of the Heart if you would like to attend please do get in touch bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in Bite size learning, Change management, Leadership, motivation, personal impact, Relationships

Feedforward instead of feedback…

Feedback focuses on the past something we have done, and therefore can be quite limiting. However skilled you are at delivering feedback it all runs the risk of being personal. When delivered badly often elicits defensive behaviour, and a positive developmental conversation disintegrates.

Feedforward is about giving suggestions for the future. Identify a behaviour you would like to change or develop. Ensure that you have selected something that will make a significant and positive difference in your life.

Describe the behaviour to a colleague/coach/line manager it can be as simple as

“I want to be a better listener”

Ask for feedforward, suggestions for the future that might help them achieve a positive change in that behaviour. Below are some examples:-

  • Making notes at a meeting to test your listening skills
  • Setting up one to one meetings with other peers
  • Listening to an audio book and making a summary or book review

The exercise should be “fun” and motivating a very different vibe to feedback.

An article by Marshall Goldsmith author of MOJO claims several reasons it is worth giving it a try:-

  • We can change the future. We can’t change the past
  • It can be more productive to help people learn to be “right” than prove they were “wrong”
  • Feedforward is especially suited to successful people
  • Feedforward can come from anyone who knows about the task
  • People do not take feedforward as personally as feedback
  • Feedback can reinforce personal negative self talk & insecurities
  • We don’t like negative feedback and we don’t like giving it
  • Feedforward can cover almost all the same material as feedback
  • Feedforward an be much faster and more efficient
  • Feedforward can be used by all – it is not a power or authoritative tool
  • People tend to listen more attentively to feedforward

There is still a place for feedback but by engaging your whole team in feedforward there might be more of a growth opportunity. A great question is “How can I better help our team in the future?”. Ask every team member to identify a behaviour. Then as a whole group facilitate a feedforward session.

Please do get in touch if you would like nuggets to host a Feedforward workshop bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in Bite size learning, Change management, coaching, Decision Making, Emotional Intelligence, Learning, mindfulness, motivation

Cast a vote for who you want to be…?

This a line from James Clear the author of Atomic Habits. He talks about establishing identity based habits, so if you want to run take on the identity of a runner. Every behaviour or action you then ask yourself does this support the identity you wish to adopt.

The runner identity is quite a clear role but what about the type of person you want to be, leaning into your values. If you want to be more caring what actions and behaviours support this person.

Clear talks about the two minute rule, so the identity you wish to adopt scale it down, and simply just start showing up.

He tells the story of Mitch who goes to the gym for 5 minutes, 4 days a week. Mitch knew that he had to master the art of showing up.

We often put off action as we think we need to learn more about the identity, however the best way to learn is to take action. Don’t buy all the equipment and just look at it. Keep the bar low and you will then step into the repetition as with Mitch’s visits to the gym. You gradually build momentum and you will progress which is directly correlated to motivation. (Teresa Amabile the progress principle)

The showing up is reinforcing your desired identity and a desire to repeat the behaviour.

To keep on track rewards are helpful when we were at school it was about getting a badge, now it might be tracking a good decision or casting votes and logging behaviours that compliment the identity. It is always good to make your progress visual. External rewards must be aligned with the internal identity you are driving to adopt. Simon Sinek calls this the “Celery Test”, if you want to be a healthy eater you are not going to have a reward of an unhealthy food, it must be aligned to your new identity.

True behaviour change is identity change eg. The goal is not to run a marathon the goal is to become a runner.

Reshape the way you think about yourself and be happy in yourself.

Every action or behaviour you are casting a vote – building a body of evidence that this is the person you want to be.

Please do get in touch bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

http://www.nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in Bite size learning, Change management, coaching, Emotional Intelligence, personal impact

Power (is it a dirty word?)

The perception of power might be large and loud however is that really effective.

From the book “48 Laws of Power” by Robert Greene we learn that some of the most interesting initiatives are by no means loud. One of his primary laws is to say as little as possible, let your actions speak for you. Be comfortable with silence and then when you do need to say something imagine you are a hawk swooping in with one powerful sound bite. Perfect your timing as to when you say your key “nugget”, and above all limit the words you use – less is more.

We are guilty of getting too emotionally attached to a position, however we will be more powerful if we let go of the ties. The politician who does not always vote for his party is more powerful than the member who follows the crowd.

Another way to be powerful is not to over share. Apple are very good at hiding from their competitors and the world what their next product will be. Concealing your intentions holds a great deal of power. Say little about your processes and your achievements will appear effortless. Your audience/clients will have the “wow” effect of something achieved and do not necessarily need to know the journey.

Power is the ability to be audacious, believing anything is possible. This might be achieved by a compelling spectacle or taking on big companies.

In the 2020 US Presidential Election there were more candidates than usual. The audacity of the Senators and Governors who put themselves forward, did not lead to securing a candidate position, but it elevated their position in their home state.

Software firm owner Nigel Cannings, from Twickenham, took on Tesco with a publicity campaign to force them to stop making night deliveries near his home. He gave up two to three hours every week over the course of two years to work on the campaign with a successful end result.

Power is not about attaching yourself to a role.

Don’t accept the roles that society foists on you, be the master of your own image, rather than others define it for you” – Robert Greene

He explains that if we are formless, that we constantly recreate ourselves, we don’t represent one position, one view or identity. We will foster more power by evolving, new thinking and embracing change. We all know that change is inevitable and when people around you display instability you will be perceived as powerful with your calm personae attached to change.

Finally to truly be powerful you must not seek it or want it. Never appear power hungry and never make power moves.

The quiet and intrinsic power is within you.

Please do get in touch for one to one coaching bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in Bite size learning, Change management, Leadership, Learning, Problem solving

Fixedness…Think differently

nuggets is all about getting people to think differently and at a start of a New Year it is a good time to evaluate how you look at things. We have worked on projects the same way and have the same rituals and routines, we get stuck in our ways.

The psychologist Karl Duncker discovered a version of “Functional Fixedness” when he posed his famous candle problem. Duncker asked participants to attach a candle to a wall, with the following materials, box of thumbtacks, a box of matches and a candle. Some tried pinning the candle to the wall with the thumb tacks, others tried melting the wax to get the candle to stick to the wall. There were only a few that used the thumbtack box by tacking it to the wall and thus creating a candle holder. These innovative thinkers had got past the fixed usage of the box and its function. The same exercise was repeated with the box presented empty and there was greater success as the participants could see the box out of context not holding any contents and were more ready to use it. Visualising something as a possible solution means that you have to stop being fixated on its functionality.

The experiment is all about a problems with functional materials, but what about looking at the way you work or the services you offer. You will have become fixed on the way you doing things and have created a fixed view.

Try this week to think about what could you look at differently within your company services or the way you work. Imagine a TV without a screen, or a lightbulb without the filament, to make this leap you have to accept that we all look at objects in a traditional way, as we all suffer from fixedness.

Share your ideas or book a workshop with nuggets in 2022 bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in Bite size learning, Change management, coaching, Emotional Intelligence, motivation, personal impact, Stress management

Starting new things…

When we start something new we are incredibly vulnerable, and we are excited that we are trying some new things. Sadly awkward and uncomfortable comes after the excitement. Brené Brown’s definition of vulnerability, is uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure.

Don’t let being afraid of the vulnerability mean you stop trying, if we don’t have the expertise we don’t want to try, but this will limit us.

If we stop growing – we stop living. You need to feel the discomfort of being a new learner. The awkwardness will pass as the more we do it the more we can try normalise the discomfort. To feel unsure and uncertain is courage.

Brown names starting things for the first time “FFT” which stands for “F*#-@$+” First Time, the out of control moment. By naming it, you take back control in effect language is a handle!! By naming experiences and feelings its gives you power and you have a hold on it.

The FFT can also be called TFT if the first F is offensive – Terrible First Time

Just by saying out loud “This is Terrible it is my first time…”

or “This is a “FFT”

There are 3 parts to the FFT:-

Normalise it – this is discomfort but I have to accept it, name it and work with it
Perspective – you will not feel like this forever – this will not be new forever
Reality checking – know where you are

The pandemic was new to us all and we all felt a FFT together.

  1. Normalise it – we don’t know how to do it, we had never experienced anything like it before so it was OK to be anxious and OK to name it and own it. For our children we needed to be modelling what uncertainty looked like – name it and feel it
  2. Perspective – we don’t know when this will end, however this will not last forever.
  3. Reality checking – to be patient and to listen with the same passion as you want to be heard and to ask for what you need

This week push yourself with a FFT, thrive in the discomfort as you are growing and being vulnerable is far more courageous than avoiding something new. Please reach out to bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in Bite size learning, Change management, coaching, Leadership

Your First 100 Days…

The job market is buoyant post Covid and many people are starting out on their new positions in Leadership without a clear pathway.

I have been reading and following the book “Your first 100 days” by Niamh O’Keefe. The book is practical with many top tips and ways of navigating your start.

She identifies the areas that you will be working on by creating heading as in the table below:-

Person Role OrganisationMarket 
Transition MakerContent LearnerValue AdderMarket Player 
Unique contributor Business Achiever Relationship Builder 
Team BuilderCulture Navigator 
Communications Provider

You as a Person

This is a key transition it might be your first Leadership role, on workshops we often talk about the move from Driver to Passenger. The difference between being transactional to transformational. Write down the key Leadership skills you think you will need in order to develop.

As a new person to the company or team you are a unique contributor you have fresh eyes on the business and can suggest new ideas and innovative ways of working. Keep a journal so that you capture your thoughts.

Your Role

Starting a new role there will be content that you have to understand and learn, make a development plan.

Understand what targets you need to hit and focus very much on being a Business Achiever.

As a Team Builder create a high performing team, don’t be afraid to make changes.

Communications provider to your team and to stakeholders, create a communications map of who needs to be informed and how often.

Organisational focus 

As a new Leader you are a Value adder in what you bring to the strategic direction of the company, ensure that you think big, do not get caught up at a micro level. Write down early on your vision for the direction of the whole business, do not limit your thinking.

Relationship builder, internally and externally, working networks and cultivating genuine trustworthy and meaningful connections.

Navigating a new culture is vital as this is the beating heart of any organisation. Think about ways you can enhance rather than alter straightaway.

On Market

Think about your competitors, how can you make an impact and prove that you are a Market player. Take time to conduct thorough research.

Planning

With the headings map onto a table actions that you think you will achieve by when:-

First StepsBy the end of 30 daysBy the end of 60 daysBy the end of 90 days 

“Begin with the end in mind” Stephen Covey the author of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Start with a vision, your legacy, what do you want to be remembered for, project five to 10 years in the future. Dream big and focus on success, when writing your vision use the present tense, use clear, concise, jargon-free language. Infuse it with passion and make it inspiring and align it with your business values and goals. A vision statement should be concise, no longer than a sentence or two.

The book is filled with checklists and the story of a new leader running alongside the text. Practical workbook for a new leader to follow.

Please do get in touch if you would like a coach for your first 100 days bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in Bite size learning, Change management, Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, personal impact

Economy of Kindness

If kindness was currency and you made withdrawals and deposits, but we were all in the business of kindness, we would have such a different vibe. Stephen Covey the author of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People explains that every relationship we have is based on an emotional bank account. We make withdrawals emotionally and we also give deposits of support. Even the day to day living can be weighted by how much we do for each other. Emptying the dishwasher is a great deposit and then a withdrawal is when you don’t clear up the kitchen after cooking.

Kindness in business is now needed more than ever with the return to offices. Before the pandemic the focus solely on growth and profit left little room for Kindness. Companies are now recognising lives of their employees. Friday afternoons free, either billed as “Focus Friday” or simply half days set up in the summer have been extended to Christmas, giving people a longer weekend and more freedom from the organisation.

Values are being reset, how do we really want to work with each other. We want to work together and build on the stuff we care about. We are recognising that more is not necessarily better. We are looking for shared responsibility alongside shared values.

This is the time for us to adapt thrive while the Covid conscience is still memorable. The positives of the pandemic was that it taught us that we were brilliantly adaptable. Chemistry and connection of people is far more appealing than pure standalone growth.

Take 15 minutes today to watch the Mary Portas TED talk December 2019

Posted in Bite size learning, Change management, coaching, Emotional Intelligence, mindfulness, personal impact

You are enough…

Listening to a podcast on the Kindness Economy they were talking about the importance of the right language to sell your product. There is a skincare company called “Unconditional Skincare” which has removed all the stereotypical language used in the beauty industry.

“Quick fix”

“Repairing”

“Anti-ageing”

They believe and say “Your skin is enough.

“We believe all skin has the potential to glow at its healthy, radiant best when given the live goodness it needs”

The power of the messaging and also the kindness will grow self esteem instead of crushing confidence.

Framing any message in a positive has got to be a better than starting with a negative. We are now in the business of followers rather than customers. Therefore we need listen to what they are saying. We can use our values as guides as to how we talk and share.

At nuggets we encourage and value the ability to think differently, so therefore our messaging is around what it gives you. We don’t want to fix your thinking we encourage you to see, hear and feel things differently which might ultimately make you think differently.

You are enough is such a great message to say to yourself today, you can go out there and embrace anything and everything as you are enough.

Have a great week and reach out for a coaching session bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in Bite size learning, Change management, coaching, Leadership, Management, motivation

Key ingredients for a coach…

Right Mindset

Sport is an obvious setting for a coach and very easy to understand their role, they are helping the athlete reach their full potential. The results are tangible and the competitive environment of achievement makes it a very conducive to getting in the right mindset. In business the same willingness is required of a coach to identify with the client their talents so that they can achieve extraordinary results. The goals might be less obvious but it is the role of the coach to empower and inspire the client to achieve. The coach must have the right mindset of believing in the development of the individual.

Listening in the moment

During the pandemic it has been really important to have a coach with the speed of the transformation of work. Understanding the levels of adaptability and working with other life commitments. The coach listens and understands what is important to you at that moment in time.

Empowering

Coaching definitely empowers employees to do their own thinking, by providing space and time. The coach is always listening and never uses any “tell” language, they are inquisitive and encouraging. They never judge and clear their own minds ready to listen without prejudice. Empowerment drives engagement, and subsequently self direction which is a driver to innovation. Studies show that engaged employees make companies more profitable, so therefore engagement drives performance.

Empathy

Empathy is the cornerstone of good coaching, “It is not about you!!!”. Understanding the persons perspective at that moment in time is what it is all about.

Energy

The coach must be like a battery pack, of giving the client a boost, a belief in their talents and capabilities. Their energy levels can be conveyed through their language and the levels of encouragement they give the client.

Accountability

The most important ingredient is to be there as a coach, check-in on their actions and ideas, hold them accountable to what they discussed the last time. Understand why they have not made the change and how they feel if they have made a change. This can be tangible actions and tasks, however it may well be a behavioural change which is where the Coach can play their most pivotal role.

Coaching is transformative and if you put in the right ingredients in and believe in the ability to evoke a change in anyone you will be amazing.

Please do get in touch to book your first coaching session bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk