Posted in Bite size learning, coaching, Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, Management, personal impact

Behaviour Vs Attitude…

We can only comment on what we see, not what we think is driving behaviour. So an example would be:-

Alice always appears very unhelpful when people enter the department, she never welcomes anyone.

We could make an assumption that she has a bad attitude. However we must only give feedback on the observable. Our personality is made up of values, skills, beliefs and attitudes we have collated to be our unique self.

Alice needs feedback on just behaviour that we can see:-

Alice I have seen that every time anyone enters the department you never look up, you never make eye contact with them or say anything”

 We would hope that Alice might explain, she hates being at the front desk, she has always been shy, she did not realise it was a requirement or she said sorry and was keen to do it differently.

Think about the balance between a behaviour and an attitude, what is behind and what is driving it. You often notice more when some-ones behaviour is not in sync with their usual demeanor.

A very handy mnemonic to keep you on the right track (“SBI”):-

S – Situation – what can you see happening?

B – Behaviour – what are they doing, only observable?

I – Impact – what do they think could be the impact of this behaviour?

It is always better if an individual can self assess their behaviour, no-one likes to be told where they are going wrong.

Please do get in touch if you would like your team to have a workshop on feedback.

www.nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

and contact bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

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Posted in Bite size learning, coaching, Emotional Intelligence, Goals, motivation

Moving forward…

Employee engagement drives bottom line, however what does engagement mean and how do you help employees connect with the company.

Teresa Amabile and Steven Kramer co authored the book the Progress Principle which explored the question of when people are motivated and engaged at work.  They recruited 238 people across 7 companies, and everyday they completed a diary entry and a questionnaire.  After 12,000 days worth of data Amabile & Kramer drew conclusions from the information.

The most conclusive result was that people are most motivated when they are making progress on meaningful work.  The most powerful thing to excite, engage is moving forward even if it is a small win.  That is the progress principle.

The terminology the pair used in their book was “inner work life” – what moves you forward?

What was the most startling find was a negative impact can be 2 or 3 times more damaging than a positive move forward.

We therefore need to be most aware of our nourishers and our toxins.  These can be people and also environments.  Think about a place where you are really productive and a place with the opposite effect.  We make the choices as to where we spend our time and we need to ensure that we look after ourself by the environment we work in.

How do you keep yourself moving forward?

  1. Stay focused – know what you want to achieve
  2. Track small wins – write down what you want to get done
  3. Spend at least 30 minutes each day on meaningful work

How do Manager’s apply the Progress Principle?

  • Catalysts – Share clear goals, with milestones and quick wins along the way
  • Autonomy – Empower team members to take initiative and responsibility
  • Resources – Provide the right materials at the right time
  • Human support – Being there

Please do contact nuggets for a workshop on “Understanding your Motivation”

www.nuggetsoflearning.com 

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Posted in Bite size learning, coaching, Emotional Intelligence, mindfulness, personal impact, Stress management

Managing “You”

Have you ever heard the voices in your head as you reach for the doughnut.  One is clearly saying go for it, you deserve it, the other is saying do not eat it.

Dr Steve Peters the author of the Chimp Paradox explains who the voices are and how to keep on top of them.  We have the Chimp speaking from our limbic brain, with its basic reactive response and its short term view.  The other voice is our Human mind is the prefrontal area which is thinking of consequences and evidence and taking a long term view. The other area of the mind which will guide both of them is the computer, where memories are stored.  This will let you know how good the doughnut tasted last time, and equally how guilty you felt afterwards.

The Chimp only provides suggestions and we must remember these are not actions to follow.  The key is to always manage the Chimp.

The book provides 4 strategies for doing so:-

  1. Exercise it – let your emotions out with someone you trust
  2. Reward it – give your Chimp a banana, if I get this done we will do this (eg. eat the doughnut)
  3. Box it – use your Human brain to work with the Chimp, evaluate suggestions
  4. Distracting it – count to 10 backwards, this prevents the Chimp being reactive it pauses it

There are many mind management systems out there to manage your emotions however not many have such successes attributed to them.  Dr Steve Peters worked with the British cyclists Sir Chris Hoy, Sir Bradley Wiggins and Victoria Pendleton.

For more help on working out your responses please do work with nuggets as a personal coach or delivering a 90 minute course to your team.

http://www.nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in coaching, Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, personal impact

Brand “you”

Knowing and understanding your own personal brand is all about asking yourself the right questions, uncovering what you are about.  What is underneath the packaging, who YOU really are.

There is a lot written about authenticity and being genuine.  A strong foundation that is based on truth will be the way to secure a true brand.

“The most exhausting thing in life, I have discovered, is being insincere.” – Anne Morrow Lindbergh author of “Gift from the Sea”

Being some-one you are not is hard work, think about Actors playing characters, often twice a day for a matinee and evening performance they are exhausted.  If you are not true to yourself you run the risk of eventually being found out, famously in the 1990s was a pop duo Milli Vanilli.  Their first album earned them a Grammy for Best New Artist.  It materialised the duo could not sing and had been lip synching to the music.  Their Grammy was revoked and no-one heard from them until sadly the tragic accidental death in 1998 of one of the pair.  This is an extreme example of not being who YOU really are.

The path to a true brand starts with key questions:-

7 questions – from the Personal Branding Guru – William Arruda

1. What do you do better than anyone else?
2. What are your top values?
3. What do people frequently give you praise for?
4. What is that people come to you for?
5. What adjectives do people use to describe you?
6. How do you do what you do?
7. What energises you?
This is the starting point to brand YOU.
Please do take a look at our website as to how you can work with nuggets on personal branding www.nuggetsoflearning.co.uk 
Posted in coaching, Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, personal impact

Windows of the soul…

Understanding what we show others and what they see when they look at us.

The model Johari’s window was created by Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham in 1955. The tool is a useful visual representation of a person’s character, and is represented with a four-quadrant grid.

The tool is very practical in knowing what you project and what you are happy to share. It is a development tool which is very useful for increasing an individuals self awareness. The windows demonstrate the memory they leave and the key question:- “What shadow do you cast?”

 

1. Public Arena

 

 3. Blind Spot

 

2. Private Arena

 

 4. Unknown/Secret Self

Window 1.

Public Arena – I know what you know about me, and you know what you know about me.

Some individuals have huge Public windows, they are happy to share everything, from their holiday plans to the interior of their homes.

Window 2.

Private Arena – I know things about myself that I am not willing to share.

Making your windows work for you will be about deciding how much you wish to share with colleagues.

Window 3.

Blindspots – Things you know about me and I don’t know about me

Often known as the bad breath spot, we need to find out more about ourselves by seeking feedback.

Window 4.

Unknown/Secret Self – Things I don’t know about myself and things you don’t know about me

This is the heroic window. We don’t know how we would cope with certain dramatic events as they have not happened. We also don’t know how far our skills will reach, if we don’t take risks. This window is exploratory, however it should not be ignored.

Map out your windows and see where you want to decrease or increase the size.

Please look at our website to see how nuggets can work with your company on practical management theory, making it relevant and applicable www.nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in Bite size learning, coaching, Emotional Intelligence, personal impact, Relationships

Developing emotional intelligence…

What we achieve is a marker of success, however how you conducted the business will stay in the memory a lot longer. Whether you gain repeat work is often decided on whether the interaction was pleasant. Retention of teams is down to how well a leader deploys their emotional intelligence and whether you want to continue working with them.

The good news is that we can work on your emotional intelligence and make it relevant and practical. If you use the five concepts from Daniel Goleman’s research:-

  • Self Awareness
  • Self Motivation
  • Self Management
  • Social Awareness
  • Relationship Management

1. Self Awareness – “What shadow do you cast?”

What memory do you leave in peoples minds, do you cast a really good impression of who you are. Is every interaction with you consistent and therefore when people meet who have met you in other separate situations they have the same view.

2. Self Motivation – “What gets you out of bed?”

The drive to push you forward comes from within, you don’t need a line manager, telling you the way. Clear goals and a future plan, always self directed.

3. Self Management – “When to react and when not to?”

Managing your hot buttons and being emotional when appropriate and being aware of slippage of inappropriate outbursts.
4. Social Awareness – “What signals are you picking up?”

Being emotionally astute you will know when some-one wants to talk and when they don’t. Getting really skilled at “reading the signals”. People often indicate they want to connect with you through their body language and not verbally, so you need to be aware of all the indicators.

5. Relationship Management – “What frequency are they on?”

Understanding some-one else takes a relationship to another level and this happens when you use empathy. Stephen Covey describes this as “Seek first to understand before being understood”.

We can measure our emotional intelligence by simply giving yourself a score out of 10 each week in each of the five areas.   You will know where to develop and breaking them down you can accept slippage and learn from it.

To demystify emotional intelligence attend a workshop with nuggets and take a look at our website for how we work with companies www.nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in coaching, Goals, mindfulness, personal impact

We are what we eat…?

Everything that we eat is what we are about, in terms of mind, body and spirit.  You can wrap it up by saying our overall well being is dictated by what we put in.

Whether it be food or  good thinking.

I was very lucky last Monday to attend a talk by Liz Earle MBE an advocate for well being.  The subject is far reaching, from labelling on food to how many hours we sleep and what is actually in sun cream.

Liz made sense and as an example of well being, looked amazing.

She was interviewed by a friend so the atmosphere was warm and comfortable.   Liz began by explaining her journey from journalist, to TV, creating the Skincare range and to her current work of writing and presenting on well being.

We make decisions on what we know and yet often we do not apply much thinking to what we are eating.  You could spend lots of time working out nutritional values however Liz made it very easy.  Think about what you are eating and what they have been eating, and then some things are just straightforward e.g. things from the ground.  If you know the route to your mouth and you are happy then you will enjoy your food.

Packaging to food is now very complex and often misleading.  Recently Waitrose ran a campaign on British Lamb it turned out the recipe was British however the lamb being sold was New Zealand.  We have to be take our own personal responsibility to look beyond the initial message.

Sleep is possibly a good starting point for well being and Liz shared the fact that 7.5 hours a night is the optimum.  Time before midnight is far more valuable than after.  So getting to bed earlier is more effective than staying in for that lie in the next morning. Banking sleep works in the short term.

As a nation we all need vitamin D and 20 minutes in the sun will possibly do us a world of good and the Liz Earle skincare range does not contain any SPF.  It is again about using the right tools for the right job.  If you want to protect yourself from the sun, use an expensive sun cream that does that job, don’t expect your normal skin care to do that for you.  This is true in business don’t expect your accountant to advise on your marketing.  Everything does the job you ask it to do.

Liz Earle has been incredibly successful in so many areas and one of her key messages was

“Be different – have a business that looks different”

Please visit our website for more details about our workshops and coaching www.nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Please do contact bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk