Posted in Bite size learning, coaching, Leadership, motivation, personal impact, Relationships

Trust Vs Performance…

Simon Sinek talks about the balance of trust and performance.  He gives the scenario of working with the Navy Seals.

There are two levels of trust as far as they are concerned:-

  • “On the battlefield would you trust some-one with your life” – therefore saying their performance was very high
  • “Off the battlefield would you trust that person with your wife” – do they have high performance levels but very low trust levels

If you look at the table below where would you place the members of your team.

Screenshot 2019-12-02 at 16.34.28.png

  • High Performer/High Trust – might seem ideal, however they will possibly want to explore new challenges and will be hard to keep
  • Low Performer/Low Trust – might not be worth the investment of your time to develop, it will take lots of time and emotional energy
  • The most interesting column is the High Trust, you can develop Performance, with skills training and you already have a committed member of the team
  • The Low Trust column you should fear, especially the High Performer with Low Trust, how did they get there?

Reward performance on its own is creating an environment of toxicity where everyone just thinks for themselves and not others.

High Trust is a harmonious atmosphere where skills can be developed in a safe comfortable environment.

As a leader you can develop both, and it is worth categorising your team to identify the approach.

  • Performance – upskilling from a technical perspective – tends to be hard skills
  • Trust – every relationship is underpinned by Trust, so taking time out to really get to know your team members.  Invest in harnessing rapport and understanding them.

Please do contact nuggets for a workshop on working with your team as a leader bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk 

 

Posted in coaching, motivation, personal impact

Colourful coaching…

The nuggets approach to coaching is a visual map of the coachee’s thinking.

To begin working with a client the most crucial starting point is to establish good rapport.  Therefore I might even give a taster if there is no previous contact.  If the individual and company are known I still like to do the first two sessions within a fortnight of each other.

The venue ideally is away from their office, however space and seclusion are key.  Walls or a table top are crucial to display post-it notes.

When we first meet I set the scene of where coaching sits and what they should expect.  I draw three steps to show the difference between:-

  • Counselling –  past experience (not an area a coach will step into)
  • Coaching  – present  – can pass judgement and has a vested interest
  • Mentoring  – future – not necessarily vested interest and can pass judgement

As a coach I can sit between present and future and as I am employed outside the organisation I don’t necessarily have the same boundaries.  I can inspire and motivate clients to reach further than they imagine.

The first session we map out the goals that the client wants to work on.  We usual a technique called “Hexagon Mapping” this is a visual map of what they want to achieve.  A trigger question is used to get them to think around the goals.  Hexagon post its are displayed and then clustered together to create, 3 or 4 goals for the client to work on.

Using the goals as a guide each session we work through their current challenges.  I use coloured post-its notes to map their stream of consciousness.  We photograph the post-it maps created and the client has a visual memory of their thinking.  As a coach I always ensure it is their words I capture.

Purists in the coaching world believe note taking breaks the connection with client and coach.   I have worked with a coach myself and I wanted and needed the prompt of what to action and move forward with and missed having notes. The work happens between the sessions and with no permanent reminder or nod to your conscience I found it hard to commit.

The benefits and the aims of my coaching follow the path below:-

  • Take stock – evaluate how you are currently working
  • Set goals – What do you want to achieve?
  • Boost your power – new rituals and habits
  • Clear the decks – identify relationships and tasks that do not add value
  • Get confident – find your authentic self and your voice
  • Move forward – new ways of working that will stick

Identifying new rituals and habits I often find is the turning point of the sessions.  Making changes as to how you work and using fresh approaches to tasks is very uplifting and liberating often breaking some of those corporate chains.

We spend a lot of time on identifying what is authentic by talking around their personal brand.  It often helps if they think of themselves as a product, as we can learn so much from famous brands.  They have core values and a frame of reference which they can apply to themselves.

In summary Colourful coaching can uncover the real you.

  • Everyone has potential
  • Everyone can achieve higher goals
  • Everyone can work towards their dreams

Colourful coaching gives you clear images of your developmental journey and will improve your performance in work and life.

Please do get in touch for a colourful coaching session bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

 

 

Posted in Bite size learning, coaching, Emotional Intelligence, mindfulness, personal impact, Relationships

Be kind to you…

When a Doctor diagnoses a condition, do you immediately change your habits.  We have to want to change and that is our own private relationship with kindness.

We have to be kind to ourselves and understand why we want to be.  When you are on a plane they always ask you to apply the oxygen mask to yourself first before helping others.  The priority is you.

It all begins with changing our habits and ensuring that they are natural and sustainable.    If you want to stop smoking, sudden abstinence is not kind however, going from 10 cigarettes to 3 is easier and kinder.

From a business perspective, you are overwhelmed by your emails, so you have a habit of processing them all at the same time.  Understand this methodology is not kind to yourself, prioritise them first.  Set a time limit on processing them.

In order to change your habits you have to understand your triggers.  When do you find the desire to break from the pattern.

Trigger for a smoker might be a night out.  Before you set out for the evening only take the cigarettes you intend to smoke, don’t let the trigger break the good work you have done already.

When you are busy the trigger  for your emails is the alert that you have new mail, simply turn it off and be kind to you.

The perception in the past has often been that being kind to yourself is indulgent however we cannot truly be kind to others unless we understand how to be kind to ourselves.    Kindness is unconditional and if you get in the habit of doing it, as with anything it will become natural.

Think about people you love and decide whether you would wish kindness on them and turn the tables and think how loved you are.

Be kind to you…

Please do get in touch for 1:1 coaching bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in Bite size learning, coaching, Emotional Intelligence, motivation

Being creative – curse or gift?

I listened to the TED talk of Elizabeth Gilbert the author of “Eat, Pray, Love”.  She talks about the moment you have reached a peak in your creativity and how the question is…

“How can you top that?”

There have been many tortured creative geniuses who have suffered from poor mental health.  Often the reason is the same as Gilbert describes, constant anxiety about how you can better your last achievement.

Creativity comes into everyday life and everyone has the same levels of anxiety.  The report you produced last week that everyone loved, will you be able to get that response again.

Fear and anxiety can prevent us from thinking logically.

The sensible way of managing a gift is not to attach too much responsibility to it.  You turn up and you work hard everything will fall into place.

In ancient Greece and Rome they believed creativity was a divine entity that lived in the walls not in a person.  This all changed with the Renaissance where they recognised individuals for their creativity.  Gilbert questions this shift in responsibility, she says that it puts too much responsibility on the individual.

To manage our own talents and our own mental health, it may well be advantageous to talk  out loud to it. Take the lead and tell it that you have showed up and you are working hard, and they need to do their bit.

We often have our best ideas in the shower or while driving, maybe the ancient Greeks and Romans were onto something, and it does live in the walls.

We can all be creative and always see it as a gift, never let it freeze your thinking.

Please do get in touch for a workshop on Creativity bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

 

Posted in Bite size learning, coaching, Emotional Intelligence, Stress management

The resilient Athlete…

One of my Clients sponsored Natalie Miller the Co Captain of the indoor netball team otherwise known as Nets.

The team went into the World Cup as reigning champions which is always a hard place to start as the expectation of a result is heavy on the teams shoulders.

We have closely followed the team’s progress and worked with them before they left on having a great mind set and adopting winning behaviour.

The team missed out on a medal, however the journey and the values they shared are winning in the minds of many.  I interviewed Natalie recently to get an insight as to how an athlete returns to life after a tournament with the memories of highs and lows.

Leading up to a tournament there is the training and the abstinence from partying and alcohol and the missing out on family events.  The discipline of being constantly in training is tough.

Natalie explained that when she returned it is hard to make that transition.  Mentally it is tough to understand what has just happened.  Knowing that it is over and you have worked for a year and half and been so focused.  The recovery is slow as the emotions run high.  The reality of a gear change takes a while to adjust to.

Freddie Flintoff’s podcast was something Natalie could relate to, he talks about how it feels to return home after tournament.  The harshest part is knowing that you will never play with that team again.  The combination of players is very hard to replicate.

Natalie explained that the team have not seen each other since the World Cup, however this feels natural as everyone needs space after such an experience.

The team experienced a tremendous high when they won against New Zealand and personally very special to Natalie as her parents witnessed the victory.  This match showcased the team, they all came together and there was total cohesion.

Another special moment was one team member was not going to play again and understandably was feeling sad, so as the Captain, Natalie asked “What would really make you happy?”.  At the time of asking the team were in an ice bath, and heroically Natalie offered to dive head first into the ice bath.  The reaction after the dive is something the team will never forget.

Everyone has a contribution and that is why being part of a team is so special.

The high of being part of a team to represent your country and being Captain cannot be minimised.  Natalie took advantage of going to South Africa by having a holiday afterwards with her parents who went out to support her.  This time was very precious being one of four to have exclusivity with her parents was a wonderful reward.

Natalie’s story continues…she has been promoted at the school she works at.  She is now the Head of Netball, Seaford College.  She brings her passion of the sport and shares that with the children.  She is playing for Sussex Thunder as the Captain and has her heart and eyes set on the Masters World Indoor Championships in 2020.

The sponsor invested in Natalie as they had shared values and the journey to the World Cup has only highlighted and exaggerated how relevant they are.

  • Resilience
  • Leadership
  • Passion
  • Teamplayer

Values are your anchor in life and you will always be a winner if you stay true to them.

Congratulations to all the Nets team and to Natalie for being a part of the World Cup and for sharing their story.

 

Posted in Bite size learning, coaching, motivation, Stress management, Time management

Procrastinating…

Procrastinating something we are guilty of.

What actually is it?   In a nutshell it is self regulating failure.

We all have too many distractions so it is very easy to procrastinate.  We need more than just will power.  Some of the reasons we find it so easy to avoid tasks is that we can have a dip in our overall motivation.  We might be feeling anxious, or we simply hate the task in hand and will try every aversion tactic possible.

We can also affect a task by just how we talk about it “I have to or I need to…”  This is all reactive language and does not put you in a positive mindset.  If we used proactive language around the task we would feel more positive.  “I choose to or I would like to…”

Some top tips to prevent procrastination:-

  • Set up your environment with minimal distractions, just one screen on your desk
  • Ensure that your phone is on silent.
  • Set your own deadline, if the end point is too far away you might put it off
  • Ensure you are not overwhelmed by a task, break it into smaller chunks
  • List your tasks and actions – What gets written gets done…
  • Identify your best time in the day and ensure that is when you work on the tough stuff
  • Committ to a time limit with a break built in, and reward yourself so that you still feel motivated
  • Visualise how you will feel once you have completed the task

Please do get in touch for a 90 minute Time Management workshop bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

The photo is courtesy of:-

@KrishantiPhoto_commercial

@KrishanthiPhoto

Posted in Bite size learning, coaching, Emotional Intelligence, mindfulness, Relationships

Being kind to yourself…

We are toughest on ourselves, your inner dialogue would shock others if you were to say it out loud.  Many books have now been written on managing those voices.  Famously we have the Chimp Paradox where Dr Steve Peters says that immature voice is our Chimp and we can manage it.  What tools or weapons do we have to combat that negativity.

The new tactic is kindness and the methodology comes from the book, The Kindness Method by Shahroo Izadi.

Start your day with 30 paperclips in your pocket and every time you say something negative in your head about yourself, transfer a paperclip to the other pocket.  The accumulation of paperclips might be a wake up call of how often you are unkind to yourself.  The transference of cruelty is given a number.  You can use marbles, buttons or pebbles in jars anything visual that just highlights how tough we are on ourselves.

This alone might not be enough for you to stop the habit of negative self talk.  Therefore another exercise from the book is to create a map called “Conversations about me”.  This is about committing to paper all the awful things you have said about yourself.  The second part of the exercise is to create a map called “Some-one I love”.  When you populate a map about some-one else you are positive about all their hopes and dreams and you only want to give them good advice and wish the best for them in everything.

When you look at the two maps you can see:-

  • Negativity Vs Positivity
  • Uplifting Vs Destructive

We would never give advice to a friend or some-one we love that would be cruel so therefore be kind to yourself.  In a nutshell ensure that you are:-

  • Compassionate
  • Generous
  • Understanding

Hit a pause button in your head and think about the three words above and imagine you are guiding some-one else rather than yourself.

Be kind to you.

 

Please do get in touch  bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

The Photo is courtesy of krish@photographybykrishanthi.co.uk