“What would you do if you weren’t afraid – most fear success more than failure”
– Sheryl Sandberg
Moving into 2019 what could you achieve if fear was not holding you back.
Where are you currently stuck?
- Where do you feel a sense of obligation?
- Where do you feel there is no choice?
- What is frustrating you?
- What are you putting up with?
What would you do if you weren’t afraid?
Complete the sentence “If I wasn’t afraid I would…”
Make a plan as to what you want 2019 to look like, what are you going to say yes to this year and what are you saying no to, with no fear attached.
“Some people want it to happen – some wish it would happen and others make it happen”
– Michael Jordan
I have this quote on my desk as I know it is only “me” that can make it happen. The way you think and feel about yourself has a much bigger impact on your life than you think.
Follow the pattern below to believe in yourself:-
- Positive self belief
- Positive & realistic expectations of what you want to achieve
- Constant achievements that are acknowledged
- Increased self esteem
Take time to acknowledge achievements on a weekly basis and review at the end of the month to then set goals for the next month. Record everything big and small to notice patterns of behaviour around your tasks eg. do you achieve more when you are busy, is your best work done at the start of the week…
We need to value ourselves, to transform our thinking into a positive regard. Think about your favourite people, their traits are probably qualities that you possess too. It is often much easier to see what is great in others. However what we admire in others is very often a projection of our own talents.
Moving into 2019 with high self regard and let go of any fear that has held you back.
Please do get in touch for 90 minutes learning workshops “nuggets” or one to one coaching firstname.lastname@example.org
Listening is a skill that needs to be practised and refined. We often think we are listening, however have we truly connected and deployed the skill required.
There are five levels of listening:-
Hopefully ignoring does not happen too often. Pretending can be easily slipped into, you can have all the right facial expressions however the button for listening has not been pressed.
Selective is the one that we save especially for the ones we love the most. Currently my husband loves nothing more than to tell me the latest on US politics. I tune in and out, bit like when you are trying to find the right radio station, every so often he relays something amazing and the rest of the time it is that annoying buzz you get from an untuned radio.
In work we are often actively listening which means we know we have to concentrate so we expertly follow and reflect the facts. It is a place of comfort however you are using a skill and need to practice regularly to check that you are not interrupting with direct questions and hijacking the other person’s agenda.
The top listening is empathetic which takes the most skill. You are not only attending, following and reflecting, you are also calibrating any non verbal indicators. As a coach I need to listen at this level and I know if it has been a good session when I feel exhausted and exhilarated. It is a privilege to listen and follow some-one else’s agenda however it is tiring if done correctly. The joy of being listened to often means you say the things you really want to say. We so rarely get a dam good listening.
As with any new skill keep practising…
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We find it very easy to shower every morning and clean our teeth, however in work we are sometimes at a loss to know where to start.
In work we need rituals and habits that make it easier for our brain to hit the ground running. Remember when you learnt to ride a bike how hard your conscious mind was focusing on all the obstacles in your path and now you cycle looking at the view.
There are times when we require new thinking so it is good to challenge our brain however ritualising some of the daily or weekly tasks could free the mind when you want it to really work hard.
Think about habits and routine items within your business:-
- Posting on social media, set a time each day where you go in and have the same system, of the platforms you visit, so that the tour becomes familiar and easy.
- Set aside time in the week when you read the relevant articles for your business. Accumulate them each day so when you hit that weekly reading spot you can get in the zone.
- Allocate a specific time to email and touch base with your clients, have it as an appointment in your diary so that it happens.
- Have some daily disciplines in place, write down what you want to achieve each day and check your work in progress schedule.
- Think about your daily habits, when do you open your email, when do you start project work and most importantly when do you eat.
- Connect with friends and colleagues by booking coffees and lunches, ensure you have a pipeline at all times of connections, business and pleasure.
- Review your day so that you can constantly improve your systems and processes.
Please do get in touch if we can help at nuggets to create some new rituals for you and your business firstname.lastname@example.org
Coaching is … a process that enables learning and development to occur by the coach asking powerful questions which leads to different thinking and ultimately different performance. The coach requires a variety of styles and skills and techniques that are appropriate for each session.
Mentoring is… helping an individual to make significant changes in their work or thinking. This can often be done remotely or face to face. Mentors look at the big picture and with no vested interest and can make bold suggestions.
Coaches can have first hand experience of the line of work or they can be a qualified coach from outside bringing new thinking in.
Mentors are normally more experienced or skilled in the field of work they are advising on.
Line Managers can use coaching techniques whereas the best mentors often have no prior relationship with the mentee.
Coaches ask powerful questions and don’t give advice, and the mentor provides direction and advice.
Mentors and coaches provide a neutral sounding board and total confidentiality, they are both invested in assisting an individual to reach their goals.
Coaching is about learning rather than “teaching” it is much more ask than tell. The insight gained by working with a coach will lead to enhanced effectiveness. Mentoring is helping individuals to develop their career by drawing on their own experiences.
Working with a coach and mentor can lead to new thinking and an enhanced performance.
We all have a brand whether you are consciously aware or unaware it is there. The more aware you are that it is there the more you can make it work for you.
At the very heart of our personality are things that we value in life. This is often the very reason “Why” we do what we do. Simon Sinek’s brilliant book “Start with Why” says it is not what we do or how we do it, the best start is the “why”. This is the very core of your brand, why you get up in the morning and why you wear that particular jacket.
If we internally know the route of our decisions in life we start to form a frame of reference, for people to associate with. These are not just external indicators as to whether you are smart or casual in your dress sense, but the more fundamental character traits, are you reliable and honest. Leading brands are very clever at having clear frames of reference, what do they want to be known for e.g. are they a family product, healthy, original taste etc…
People will make assumptions within seconds of meeting us. So how do we ensure we project our personal brand. We need to sit down initially and think why do we do what we do and what does that tell us about our frame of reference. The two combined give you an idea of what packaging/clothing compliments that brand.
Personal branding is not just when you meet some-one face to face. Our brand now extends to our social media, so if you want to be taken seriously having a beach shot on your LinkedIn profile will not match your brand. Look at your working environment an extension of your brand, how does it look? Is it efficient, a word you had in your frame of reference, no-one would really like a perception of messy.
The word “professional” is very over used and what we really are trying to define is an effective personal brand. Think about the memory you leave in people’s minds – “What shadow do you cast?” and remember it is not just the first time you meet them, you will leave that memory/shadow it is all the time.
If anyone tells you to do anything you want to resist. Recently some-one told me to do something and I was in a volunteering capacity and I was incredibly resistant. Asking for help and support always gets a better response.
A potential Client was explaining a team member’s response to attending a team meeting. The employee had called a colleague and said they would not bother coming back to the office to come to the weekly meeting. The Manager was obviously irritated and asked the colleague to phone them straight back and tell them they had to attend.
I asked why as the Manager they had not made the call. They could have asked
“Why do you think that your attendance at the meeting would not add value?”
The brain always has to answer a question, and questioning the value they would bring to a meeting is far harder to excuse yourself.
Ask not tell leadership style is much more empowering. Whenever a team member comes to you with a problem the best approach is to always ask them what they would do first rather than offer out a solution.
Another example is a request for holiday during a busy period, instead of an immediate no, ask how they think the company will survive with their absence. Asking is all about pushing responsibility and getting the brain to work for itself.
Telling some-one not to be late, will make the serial offender repeat their actions. Asking them what they think they can do to ensure they are on time, makes them do the thinking.
Ask not tell is more empowering to you as leader and to the recipient.
It is true that daydreaming and being bored can ignite our best thinking. I have always had my best ideas in the shower or on that walk in the sun.
Manoush Zomorodi author of “Bored and Brilliant” explains in her Ted Talk how boredom can lead to brilliance. She asks the question imagine if you never got bored. Some of your best ideas come from, folding the washing or walking to work. We enter a default mode, the brain goes from conscious to sub conscious. The brain begins to create different connections, even tapping into autobiographical planning.
Good boredom is staring out of the window when the mind can get into the default mode. Bad boredom is when you are multi tasking, checking your phone whilst staring out the window or on that beautiful walk. Everytime we look at that phone we are depleting the neurological resource we have. Even chilling out on the sofa while watching TV and checking email is still bad boredom. The purity of the chill is the good boredom.
Doing nothing is being creative, and boredom can lead to brilliance.
Please do get in touch for a workshop on creative thinking or 1:1 coaching email@example.com