Posted in Bite size learning, Change management, coaching, Emotional Intelligence, motivation

Who moved my…

We are all experiencing change which always involves loss.  We have lost our routine, office and the immediacy of our colleagues.  The stages of change are as follows:-

  • Shock/surprise – we all experienced this last week
  • Denial – the questions in our head was this really happening
  • Frustration – the realisation of what the restrictions would mean
  • Despair/Depression – the reality and enormity of the situation
  • Experimentation – this will be this week, trying to work differently
  • Decisions – further ahead we may well decide to work this way forever
  • Integration – the experimentation and decisions have all come together

These stages come from the Elisabeth Kubler-Ross change curve and whilst I have listed them very straightforwardly they possibly will not flow in this way.  We will go through every stage however we might move backwards and forwards and there will be no guide as to how long we stay on the change curve.

The book “Who moved my cheese…” by Dr Spencer Johnson explains change in a more human and emotional context.  There are four characters in the book which you can all identify with.  There are two mice with small rodent brains who do not over analyse change and ride with the times and move with the change.  The two little people in the story Hem And Haw over think the change and experience fear of it and the world of uncertainty.

Hem is frozen by change and will not change his behaviour or try new thinking.  At the start of last week I felt very like Hem myself, I could not see how my business could move forward and like a lot of people felt emotional and panicked by the circumstances.

The character Haw faces his fear and moves forward, which is what I did by the mid point of the week.  My business can adapt to the circumstances and my behaviour, thinking can experience new challenges.  This is the beginning of the changes I am making:-

  • I have advised all my coaching clients that we will continue our sessions using zoom and whilst we won’t have 2 hours face to face, we can still see each other for an hour, and more often which will be more beneficial.
  • My 90 minute workshops are a great way to boost team morale and can also be delivered over zoom.
  • nuggets is also opening a business book review club that starts this Friday at 10.00am with the first book being reviewed “Who moved my cheese…”

Please do stay in touch with nuggets and let us know how we can help you adapt with the change.  bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Read “Who moved my cheese…” this week and join us on Friday to chat through which character you were and how your initiatives and thinking are going.

You are invited to a Zoom meeting. 
When: Mar 27, 2020 10:00 AM London 
 
Register in advance for this meeting:
 
Posted in Bite size learning, coaching, Emotional Intelligence, personal impact, Relationships

Learn to listen…

Julian Treasure’s TED talk is all about the quality of listening or the lack of it.

On average retention of listening is only 25%, as we make our own interpretation.  We make up patterns from the sound.  We also subconsciously apply filters as to what we want to listen to.

Treasure suggests we partake in a listening workout, train ourselves to pay attention:-

  1. Sit in silence for 3 minutes a day.
  2. Apply a mixer, how many channels can you hear, what are the different sounds around you.
  3. Savouring and enjoying some of the mundane sounds, the tumble dryer is a hidden choir that we don’t appreciate or truly listen to.
  4. Think about your positioning when you listen, are you being respectful to the person you are listening to.  Do you appear attentive and active in your physicality or are you too relaxed and therefore appear to only be passively listening.
  5. He says we should apply the following formula:-
      • Receive
      • Appreciate
      • Summarise
      • Ask

Treasure says “we live to listen, listening is the gateway to understanding”

Listening is a skill like any other and we need to practise and develop continuously.

Please do get in touch for a workshop on communication skills bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk 

Posted in Bite size learning, coaching, Emotional Intelligence, mindfulness, Relationships, Stress management

Extra day…

Often on a Time Management workshop I will ask delegates what they would do with an extra hour.  The answer they most want to give is sleep, however once we have refused that as an option they become far more creative.

This year 2020 is a Leap Year so this Saturday 29th February we will get an extra day, therefore we have 366 days instead of 365 days, however will we make the most of this opportunity.

Very old fashioned concept was that this was the only day women could propose marriage, however as this can happen at anytime during the year, what can be unique about your extra day.

Values drive our behaviour so if we want it to really count think about what matters most in your world.  This may well start with the people that matter most in your life.  Don’t stop there, we could do what we always do with them or we could think what else do we value and what do we want to do with their time.

Identify core values and then think about what activity you can do on Saturday that connects with those.  Only select 3 from the list below, be realistic and think about who you want to be with (the list is limited so add your own ideas for core values):-

Achievement

Authenticity

Balance

Community

Change

Enthusiasm

Family

Happiness

Innovation

Kindness

Recognition

Wisdom

Examples of how values can lead to activities:-

  • Happiness – going back to somewhere that made you feel really happy
  • Wisdom – visiting something cultural and learning new facts
  • Change – meeting new people, going somewhere different

Have a great Saturday and let me know what you did with your extra day?

Please do get in touch for a workshop on any management or leadership topic bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk 

Posted in Bite size learning, Change management, coaching, Decision Making, Goals, Leadership, motivation

Focus on habits…

This year focus on your habits and rituals don’t get fixated on goals and outcomes.

James Clear author of Atomic Habits says

“You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems” 

Whilst we set a desired outcome it is our daily habits that lead us to it.

Make sure you do not let an identity from last year or even further back restrict your progress.

  • I’m terrible at strategy
  • I don’t speak up at meetings
  • I am disorganised

Take on a Growth Mindset (Carol Dweck)

  • I will think strategically
  • My voice will be heard in meetings
  • I will have a clear desk every night

Megan Hellerer career coach to high flying women in the US, talks about the approach of being Destinational or Directional.

She describes Destinational – I want to be CEO (very clear goal and outcome).  The route to this  might be copied by others who have done it before eg. a very well known path, however somewhere along that route you loose control.  You take on the habits of others and you don’t allow for deviation.  You reach the desired destination but is it what you wanted or desired.

The Directional approach allows for changes and deviations you have total control, you make your own decisions and create your systems to compliment your route to your goal.  You know that the world is not static and you move with the times.

Hellerer uses a road trip as a metaphor, Destinational follow a set road trip, they follow the guide exactly and might have a great trip, however they have not made the trip their own.

Directional co-create the trip depending on the weather and circumstances, they make their own decisions.

To summarise a quote from F.M. Alexander:-

“People do not decide their futures, they decide their habits and their habits decide their futures..”

Please do get in touch for a workshop on Habits and Rituals bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in Bite size learning, coaching, Leadership, motivation, personal impact, Relationships

Trust Vs Performance…

Simon Sinek talks about the balance of trust and performance.  He gives the scenario of working with the Navy Seals.

There are two levels of trust as far as they are concerned:-

  • “On the battlefield would you trust some-one with your life” – therefore saying their performance was very high
  • “Off the battlefield would you trust that person with your wife” – do they have high performance levels but very low trust levels

If you look at the table below where would you place the members of your team.

Screenshot 2019-12-02 at 16.34.28.png

  • High Performer/High Trust – might seem ideal, however they will possibly want to explore new challenges and will be hard to keep
  • Low Performer/Low Trust – might not be worth the investment of your time to develop, it will take lots of time and emotional energy
  • The most interesting column is the High Trust, you can develop Performance, with skills training and you already have a committed member of the team
  • The Low Trust column you should fear, especially the High Performer with Low Trust, how did they get there?

Reward performance on its own is creating an environment of toxicity where everyone just thinks for themselves and not others.

High Trust is a harmonious atmosphere where skills can be developed in a safe comfortable environment.

As a leader you can develop both, and it is worth categorising your team to identify the approach.

  • Performance – upskilling from a technical perspective – tends to be hard skills
  • Trust – every relationship is underpinned by Trust, so taking time out to really get to know your team members.  Invest in harnessing rapport and understanding them.

Please do contact nuggets for a workshop on working with your team as a leader bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk 

 

Posted in coaching, motivation, personal impact

Colourful coaching…

The nuggets approach to coaching is a visual map of the coachee’s thinking.

To begin working with a client the most crucial starting point is to establish good rapport.  Therefore I might even give a taster if there is no previous contact.  If the individual and company are known I still like to do the first two sessions within a fortnight of each other.

The venue ideally is away from their office, however space and seclusion are key.  Walls or a table top are crucial to display post-it notes.

When we first meet I set the scene of where coaching sits and what they should expect.  I draw three steps to show the difference between:-

  • Counselling –  past experience (not an area a coach will step into)
  • Coaching  – present  – can pass judgement and has a vested interest
  • Mentoring  – future – not necessarily vested interest and can pass judgement

As a coach I can sit between present and future and as I am employed outside the organisation I don’t necessarily have the same boundaries.  I can inspire and motivate clients to reach further than they imagine.

The first session we map out the goals that the client wants to work on.  We usual a technique called “Hexagon Mapping” this is a visual map of what they want to achieve.  A trigger question is used to get them to think around the goals.  Hexagon post its are displayed and then clustered together to create, 3 or 4 goals for the client to work on.

Using the goals as a guide each session we work through their current challenges.  I use coloured post-its notes to map their stream of consciousness.  We photograph the post-it maps created and the client has a visual memory of their thinking.  As a coach I always ensure it is their words I capture.

Purists in the coaching world believe note taking breaks the connection with client and coach.   I have worked with a coach myself and I wanted and needed the prompt of what to action and move forward with and missed having notes. The work happens between the sessions and with no permanent reminder or nod to your conscience I found it hard to commit.

The benefits and the aims of my coaching follow the path below:-

  • Take stock – evaluate how you are currently working
  • Set goals – What do you want to achieve?
  • Boost your power – new rituals and habits
  • Clear the decks – identify relationships and tasks that do not add value
  • Get confident – find your authentic self and your voice
  • Move forward – new ways of working that will stick

Identifying new rituals and habits I often find is the turning point of the sessions.  Making changes as to how you work and using fresh approaches to tasks is very uplifting and liberating often breaking some of those corporate chains.

We spend a lot of time on identifying what is authentic by talking around their personal brand.  It often helps if they think of themselves as a product, as we can learn so much from famous brands.  They have core values and a frame of reference which they can apply to themselves.

In summary Colourful coaching can uncover the real you.

  • Everyone has potential
  • Everyone can achieve higher goals
  • Everyone can work towards their dreams

Colourful coaching gives you clear images of your developmental journey and will improve your performance in work and life.

Please do get in touch for a colourful coaching session bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

 

 

Posted in Bite size learning, coaching, Emotional Intelligence, mindfulness, personal impact, Relationships

Be kind to you…

When a Doctor diagnoses a condition, do you immediately change your habits.  We have to want to change and that is our own private relationship with kindness.

We have to be kind to ourselves and understand why we want to be.  When you are on a plane they always ask you to apply the oxygen mask to yourself first before helping others.  The priority is you.

It all begins with changing our habits and ensuring that they are natural and sustainable.    If you want to stop smoking, sudden abstinence is not kind however, going from 10 cigarettes to 3 is easier and kinder.

From a business perspective, you are overwhelmed by your emails, so you have a habit of processing them all at the same time.  Understand this methodology is not kind to yourself, prioritise them first.  Set a time limit on processing them.

In order to change your habits you have to understand your triggers.  When do you find the desire to break from the pattern.

Trigger for a smoker might be a night out.  Before you set out for the evening only take the cigarettes you intend to smoke, don’t let the trigger break the good work you have done already.

When you are busy the trigger  for your emails is the alert that you have new mail, simply turn it off and be kind to you.

The perception in the past has often been that being kind to yourself is indulgent however we cannot truly be kind to others unless we understand how to be kind to ourselves.    Kindness is unconditional and if you get in the habit of doing it, as with anything it will become natural.

Think about people you love and decide whether you would wish kindness on them and turn the tables and think how loved you are.

Be kind to you…

Please do get in touch for 1:1 coaching bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk