Posted in Bite size learning, Change management, Emotional Intelligence, Goals, mindfulness

Review of the year

To make the best of 2018 we have stop and ask questions about the year that has just passed.

Take time to think about the answers to the following questions:-

  • What were the 5 best days in 2017?
  • List 3 achievements in 2017
  • Who were the people in 2017 who cared and supported you?

Creating a plan for 2018 is easier once you have the answers to 2017:-

  • Holidays that you are going to take, where and when?
  • 3 Big goals that you are going to undertake
  • Days and events that you would like to happen (might be replicating some of your best days in 2017)
  • Ask yourself how do you want to feel in December 2018?
  • Who are the key people you need around you in 2018?

The exercise is best done visually by using post-it notes so that you create a picture of both years beside each other.

We control our own destinies, make 2018 a fantastic year.

For a workshop on goal setting or personal impact please contact bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

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Posted in Bite size learning, Decision Making, Emotional Intelligence, Goals, Relationships, Stress management, Time management

Getting ready for the “C” word…

The “C” word being Christmas.

The countdown to Christmas begins this Friday and it is like any other project it needs to be managed and the focus of what it means to you, must not be lost.

Stephen Covey’s time management exercise “What matters most” is a great way of looking at Christmas.  Covey invites delegates to squeeze big rocks into gravel.  The big rocks represent “what matters most in life” and the gravel is just “stuff” e.g. work.

The only way the exercise works is to put the big rocks in place first and then pour the gravel on top.   Delegates have been known to sweat profusely trying to squeeze rocks into gravel.  This feels uncomfortable and to be honest is how life feels when you lose focus on the things that matter most.

Focus on Christmas and work back, ensure you are spending it with the people who matter most and get all the “stuff” into perspective.

We have all done the Christmas Eve shop and regretted it afterwards when the person you care about most is surprised and disappointed.

The biggest rock at the moment is Christmas, so therefore make it your priority.

Please do get in touch for workshop on Time Management bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

 

Posted in Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, personal impact, Relationships, Stress management

Resilient Pink…

The media is awash since the Harvey Weinstein of abuse cases and how do you determine the line that people cross.

My own experiences has measured my thoughts around appropriate and inappropriate.

In my early 20’s I went for an interview to work with a very well successful businessman.  With hindsight this first introduction to him should have been a warning of what was to come, the level of control.  I was asked to wipe off my lipstick (my trademark bright pink).  This felt very odd, and I had lots of time to reflect on this instruction as I was left in a room for a very long period to wait for the “big man”.  Looking back I think I was being watched and the whole situation was a test.

I got the job without the lipstick which I was still advised to hold back on.

The prestige of working for the company and the man himself let me initially enjoy the situation.  It became apparent that it was not business as normal.  Five secretaries to one PA, could easily tell you that we were just ever slightly over manned.

We would be rewarded with money for carrying a brief case, however in the process the wandering hands went too far.  Sex toys would be placed on our desks to see our reaction, and I was particularly naive.

I left after  6 months and the first thing I did was make sure my lipstick was brighter than ever.  The resilient pink continues and I know where the line is for me.

I ask myself would I want my daughter to be humiliated and lose confidence due to an individual who believed fame and money would protect him.

Arriving at meeting last week there was lots of banter about whether we could greet each other with hug.  I laughed with the group, however I was delighted that there is now thinking around personal space.  My own example is somewhat extreme, however there are levels within everything and there is always a line to cross or not to cross.

We can create a better place and be resilient with or without pink lipstick.

Posted in Bite size learning, Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, personal impact, Uncategorized

Does your dress code match your email…?

More and more companies are moving towards a casual dress code.  We often wear the right clothes to do the right job.  You would never garden in your high heels, the trusted wellington boot is the footwear of choice.

If we are not wearing the right dress does it mean that our tone becomes more relaxed.

  • Do we mind if the team use emojis in their emails?
  • Use Hi instead of Dear
  • Sign off with thanks or cheers
  • Go straight into the email
  • Put the content of the email in the subject box
  • Use comic sans as a font

When dress codes change they often get misinterpreted, what is casual in my eyes might not be in some-one else’s eyes.  There is an adjustment phase, some team members intentionally push the boundaries. Our clothes are very much a part of the image and the culture we belong in.  They are easy to spot and give feedback on.

The tonality and content of your team emails are harder to spot.

Introduce guidelines of the tonality you expect and the look and appearance of your emails.  They are often and the first contact with your company, ensure that it is the right image.

 

 

 

 

Posted in coaching, Emotional Intelligence, mindfulness, personal impact, Stress management

Sleep the new drug…

Sleep is the new drug in town.  We reach for the pain killers and eventually we might take to our bed.  However what if we saw sleep as a preventative drug.

Matthew Walker is the director at the Centre for Human Sleep Science at the University of California, Berkeley, he has spent the last 20 years studying “sleep”.

“When have you ever seen an NHS poster urging sleep?’ – “when did a Doctor prescribe sleep not sleeping pills, sleep loss costs the UK economy more than £30bn a year in the lost revenue” 

Sleep resets our body and brain by working on the following:-

  • memory
  • emotional stability
  • immune system

When we sleep it is like hitting the save button on your memories.  Studies have also shown that we can learn new facts much better after a good 8 hours.  The Hippocampus in the brain is the memory in-box.   MRI scans of sleep deprived individuals show the lack of activity or using the metaphor of the in-box no new files.

Sleep manages emotional volatility, scans of the brain show the Amygdala has increased activity with sleep deprived individuals.  So for our emotional well being 8 hours sleep a night is the best recovery.

Our physicality is improved with sleep as we have natural killer cells, our immune cells who work during the night.  The World Health Organisation has now identified that shift workers are at risk due to poor sleeping routines.

Sleep resets your body and brain so go out there and reclaim it and make sure it is the full 8 hours.

 

Posted in Bite size learning, coaching, Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, mindfulness, motivation

Dose of Happiness…

We create our own happiness by choosing the state that we go into, however how much are we aided by the chemicals in our brain.  Science colliding with our emotional intelligence.

At a talk at our son’s school they explained how teenagers can steer their behaviour with bearing in mind the dosage they need to be happy.   It is healthy for teenagers to hug and want companionship and yet social media does not give them that intimacy or immediate closeness.  The wrong elements of the happiness can be exaggerated, the teenagers can become addicted to posting and the reaction of their friends.

Simon Sinek of TED talk fame and for the book “Start with Why”, explained when writing his book “Leaders Eat Last” the chemicals that makes us happy.

He used the mnemonic EDSO however at my son’s school last week they made it far more catchy – DOSE of happiness.

DOPAMINE – motivates us to achieve incremental goals. It is the greed element of the brain it makes us feel good when we tick things off the to-do list and it can become highly addictive.

OXYTOCIN – creates intimacy, trust and the feeling that some-one will protect you.  Mothers and babies and lovers feel this when they are protected and loved, the feeling of safety.

SEROTONIN – provides the feeling of significance, pride, status.  It drives us to seek the recognition of others.  I want to do it so that my family are proud of me.  It reinforces relationships within a group, it can give cohesion to a team.

ENDORPHINS – keeps us going during work outs or runs, it helps us endure difficulties.  We have the same rush when we laugh.

If we were put them into a table:-

Chemicals for Happiness Key phrase Example
DOPAMINE One more Setting and achieving milestones
OXYTOCIN Intimacy and safety One-on-ones with Manager
SEROTONIN Loyalty Making the team proud
ENDORPHINS No pain Late night working

The right DOSE can steer you through an organisation and life.   Check-in to see whether you are being exposed to the right amount in each area.

Please do get in touch for a workshop on Happiness bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in Bite size learning, coaching, Emotional Intelligence, mindfulness, Stress management, Time management

Busy is a brand…

We wear busy like a badge of honour.  The first thing we say to each other is “how are you?” and the most common response is “busy”.

We deal in a currency of numbers, people will tell you how many emails they have in their in-box and how many meetings they have attended.

The “busy” becomes a showcase, we boast about not having time.  Our reputation and existence is based on demonstrating “busy”.  We need to rush and walk quickly to emulate “busy”.

Even our weekends are about justifying ourselves to ourself.  We enter marathons and discuss what is right for our children in terms of after school activities.  Studies now show that children need to learn how to be bored.

We cloud effort and results, as often if things take longer we have looked busy for longer.

A locksmith explained that when he first started his trade it used to take him a long time to change a lock.  He charged $120 and $25 for the key and was often given a tip.  He is now experienced and changes a lock in 2 minutes and still charges a $120, and yet he never receives tips. Ironically people were paying for incompetence, and yet they believed they were paying for effort.

To understand more about “busy” listen to the Radio 4 series by Oliver Burkeman http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b07w1dpx/episodes/player

Please do look at our website and get in touch www.nuggetsoflearning.co.uk