Posted in Bite size learning, Emotional Intelligence, Goals, motivation, personal impact, Relationships

Developing you…

What shadow do you cast…? 

What memory do you want everyone to have of you? What do you leave in the room when you leave.  Be happy with the shadow that you cast and the memory that lingers in people’s minds. 

Brands pass from generation to generation with lasting memories.  Companies work hard to protect the image and ensure that the product and service is consistent.  As individuals we need to make the same investment in developing our own personal brand. When was the last time you booked a workshop for yourself, just about developing you.

We have an impact on everyone we meet and we are choosing how that is deployed. 

“About two years ago I realised I was no longer a person but a brand” Martha Stewart 

One of the first steps is to understand the key elements of emotional intelligence, from Daniel Goleman studies they can be broken into 5 key areas:-

  • Self Awareness
  • Self Management 
  • Social Awareness 
  • Motivation
  • Relationship Management 

From those areas you can then:-

  • Develop self confidence by practising assertive tools
  • Read the signals of non verbal and verbal behaviour
  • Create a frame of reference around your own personal brand 
  • Developing influencing skills
  • Managing relationships effectively 

This will give you:-

  • An awareness of your own inner signals and be able to manage your own emotions
  • Accurate self awareness on your limitations and strengths
  • Self confidence that is a authentic 
  • Able to create comfortable situations by using empathy 
  • Share your motivation with others and creating a personal brand
  • Meaningful connections 

We are delighted and excited to be launching our open workshops Developing You – There are 5 modules

  1. Developing Emotional Intelligence 
  2. Assertive Behaviour
  3. Communication Toolkit
  4. Personal Branding
  5. Influencing Skills 

You can attend the modules as a stand alone workshop or you can attend all 5 as a series, the first one is:-

Developing Emotional Intelligence
Date:- Thursday 29th April 2021
Time:- 10.00am (90 minutes)
Cost:- £40 per person per workshop
To book a place, please email bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk
All the details of the workshops are in the brochure just hit the link below:-
https://lnkd.in/dFHyR57

Please get in touch and explore “what shadow do you cast…?”

Posted in Bite size learning, Change management, Emotional Intelligence, mindfulness, Stress management

Keep being Resilient…

The final push through lockdown could be our toughest job yet, knowing that freedom is within touching distance how do we keep on being resilient.

We wake up each morning and decide on the level of energy we wish to deploy. In the book “Feel the Fear and do it anyway” Susan Jeffers says we should use the pain to power continuum. If you see a line on a piece of paper with those two words, decide how near to pain you are and how near to power you are. We want to be near power however a poor nights sleep or a genuine illness might pull us towards pain. She says we have the choice and whatever we deploy at the start will set the tone for the day and potentially the week.

Our mindset is another conscious choice we make although we might have carried beliefs from childhood into adulthood which might not be helpful. Professor Carol S Dweck’s book on “Mindset”, explains we either have a fixed mindset or a growth mindset. If you were told as a child that you can’t sing, can’t draw or that you are poor at sport this is something you have decided to fix and lock in. These items we lock in are not good for our resilience levels. Also success can be deliberating, she explains often once something is achieved, people with a fixed mindset stop trying this is not good in an environment where we have no control and we need to continuously think of new ways to work and adapt.

The word resilient means for a person to be able to withstand or recover quickly from difficult situations. To know that resilience is about bouncing back what are the components that you need to work on to ensure that you do recover. If you imagine a table, it has four legs and a top, and without one of those vital pieces the table would feel unstable and fall. We need each leg of our resilient table to be firm and secure.

Leg One – Mental toughness – making decisions and using all your logical thinking to way up pros and cons and be aware of problems as they arrise

Leg Two – Physical energy – staying strong and to be able to attend several back to back virtual meetings still with a smile

Leg Three – Emotional balance – A support for others and ourselves the right level of empathy, and measured responses.

Leg Four – Social skills – Naturally adept at making others comfortable and comfortable in your own space.

Table Top – Sense of purpose – meaning to what you are doing, the core of who you are.

Create your own “Resilient Backpack”. If you were going on a hike you would pack a rucksack with essentials for the trip. We are still on the journey of lockdown and decide what you need in your resilient backpack, here are a few ideas:-

  • Favourite music
  • Friends
  • Books
  • Favourite meal
  • Walking
  • Running

Identifying a dip in your resilience eg. which part of your table is unsteady or is it a mood that you can recognise as a sign. Anxious, antagonistic, defensive, snappy, withdrawn etc… We will all have our own indicators, the trick is to get to know yourself and know when something is becoming a pattern. Take something out of your backpack to make yourself feel better or work on a leg of your table, or make a choice to have a growth mindset.

Please do get in touch for a workshop on Being Resilient – bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

http://www.nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in Bite size learning, Change management, coaching, Emotional Intelligence, Stress management

In the “Grip”…

This is the terminology for being out of character, not quite ourselves and it comes from Myers Briggs, the personality self assessment tool. The expression seems so apt at the moment as we are all drifting into being “In the Grip”.

What does it actually mean and what does it look like to us all individually?

In a nutshell it is the version of ourselves that puzzles us, we can feel irrational, out of control, unstable or even just a little crazy. These temporary episodes at the time literally grip us, however we have to recognise that they are actually healthy and demonstrating our adaptability.

This side of character is most likely to occur during times of stress, fatigue and illness.

The first step to moving out of the grip of these out of character behaviours is to perhaps identify times when we our feeling naturally ourselves and when not.

  • What are you like when you are most yourself? – what qualities best describe you or define you? examples might be – optimistic, careful with details, concerned about others or future orientated
  • What are you like when you are not yourself? – how are you different to your usual way of being?
  • What aspects of your work are most satisfying?
  • What aspects of your work are most disatisfying?
  • How do you typically deal with chronic stress?
  • What new things have you learned about yourself as a result of out of character experiences?

My own personal example is as recent as Friday. My normal disposition is to be very positive and optimistic and to be more future orientated. I recognised signs of feeling a bit despondent so decided to cheer myself up by buying a new outfit which normally would be quite a good idea. In the past this would be a trip to shops and visualising where I would wear the outfit in the future. However during lockdown this meant shopping on line, I got locked “in the Grip” there was too much choice and I found it really hard to visualise. Came out with an outfit, missed the detail aspect now have an outfit on the way to my niece as did not change the delivery address from Christmas.

One of the main reasons we get locked in the Grip is down to energy levels. We are awaiting news about lockdown being lifted however my advice is to still maintain good energy levels so whatever the news you don’t behave out of character. Set your own agenda and don’t be influenced by “stuff” you can’t influence.

Please do get in touch bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

http://www.nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in Bite size learning, Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, personal impact, Relationships

Networking in the remote world…

Last week I was asked to discuss the difference between networking face to face and the shift to the remote world.

I always have standard features and, using the word “Welcome” harks back to my days at Disney. The word is a smile within itself and as a host it is so important to make everyone feel welcome as soon as possible. To foster warmth instantly over a screen you have to use the right tonality as well as the right words. I attended a webinar recently where the host was very shouty and I felt intimidated even sitting in my own home.

Try and be original with introductions, just as we hated the round the table we also hate round the screens. Ask people to hold up pictures or give a word to describe how they feel at that moment, who is their favourite actor or actress…be adventurous!

Decide whether to have a waiting room or no waiting room. The benefit of not having one is that you can host some small talk before the event begins. The formality of a slide or holding screen can be appropriate, or it might create a barrier.

Engaging with people is about staying on screen, so minimise your slide deck and use break out rooms as when necessary.

Your own background rather than a beach in Miami, exposing your home makes you authentic. Everyone loves to see a dog or child in the background, its “real” and all an extension of you.

Networking is relationship building, it is not about attending to be seen on screen, it is about getting to know each other and if you set up appropriately and warmly it can happen very easily.

Please do get in touch bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Please visit our website http://www.nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in Bite size learning, coaching, Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, mindfulness, motivation, Stress management

Mental & Physical Rhythm…

As a coach I am always keen to steer my client towards healthy habits, rituals and routines. These are normally behavioural choices and not necessarily centred around physicality.

Last week I heard a talk by Dr. Zarrin Shaikh about the importance of well being from the cardiology perspective. Dr Shaikh qualified as a Doctor and for many years worked on the frontline of NHS in cardiology.

She is now focusing on lifestyle cardiology, prevention of heart disease. She shared a great mnemonic “Fresh” which is something I will share with my clients:-

F – food

R – relaxation

E – exercise

S – sleep

H – honesty

The last letter H for honesty is about your own self awareness about whether you are being kind to yourself. The four other categories are great pillars for life and well being which we need to track continuously.

In my coaching sessions during lockdown I have been advocating rituals, like having a break at the same time each day, beginning and closing the day at the same time. During her talk Dr Shaikh confirmed that biological patterns are really important.

A recent conversation with a Leader who shared the need for her team to get into a rhythm with each other. Remote leadership is hard but the more rituals you can put in place the more likely your team will get in sync with each other. I have a client every Monday at 9.00am and I love the discipline of an appointment at the start of the week.

Journalling is a ritual I do everyday to review and assess my development. I set out what I want to achieve each day and take great joy in highlighting tasks accomplished. I have a break in the morning at the sometime each day. Think about how you can create your own rhythm mentally and physically, is it the right beat and volume, and is it sweet to your ears.

Please do get in touch for a coaching session bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

http://www.nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in Bite size learning, coaching, Emotional Intelligence, Goals, Leadership, mindfulness, motivation, Stress management

Finding a purpose…

We set our agenda whilst working from home so therefore each day we set the path of intent. Find a purpose in everything you do, from a micro level to macro level.

Having a purpose is liking having a compass in your head. You know for the day the direction you are heading and therefore you set off with a good mind set.

Write down each day what your overall purpose will be and then look to the tasks that connect with that overall purporse.

Example:-

Overall purpose – To write and submit a report

  • Map out a plan
  • Collate research
  • Start the report

Alternatively if you decide your purpose for the day is to be healthy, think of all things you can do that connect eg. eating well, exercising and going to bed early.

When we have decided on our purpose, achievement follows closely and underpins motivation.

Ideally if you have purpose at a macro level you have a clear idea of why you do what you do everyday it make is much easier to set tasks at a micro level.

Ask yourself key questions to discover your overall purpose:-

  • What are you trying to achieve in life?
  • What are your strengths?
  • What are you selling/or giving others?
  • What story are you telling?

Start to get inquisitive about why you do what you do? Having a clear purpose even when conducting the smallest of tasks is a sign of healthy mental well being.

Decide what is going to be on your agenda tomorrow set the compass and find your purpose…?

bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in Bite size learning, coaching, Emotional Intelligence, Goals, motivation

Review of the year…

No-one would dispute that 2020 has not been the best of years, however there will have been highlights and we need to ensure that as memory they outweigh the lowlights.

An exercise I give to all my coaching clients and an exercise I perform myself is a review of the year.

The first part is to identify your 5 best days of the year.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Taking the time to identify which days really worked for you in 2020, gives you the ingredients of a great day to take into 2021. What were you doing and who were you with? Often the best days are the simplest, not anywhere special but the feeling and the people that really made it magical.

Write down the names of the people who were important to you in 2020…

Achievement underpins motivation and what 3 big things really stand out for you, what were you really proud of accomplishing.

Achievements x 3

2.

3.

How are you feeling December 2020?

It is hard with the current situation to identify how we are feeling, however writing down how we feel often dilutes the emotion. Once you write something down it leaves your head and in reality you can start to assess your emotions more calmly.

Looking ahead to 2021, think about the 3 big goals you want to achieve.

1.

2.

3.

Finally the year ahead, do you already know of days and events that will happen, eg significant Birthdays, Anniversaries, etc…

Days & Events in 2021

Thank you so much for taking the time to read the blog and have a wonderful Christmas break and see you in 2021.

bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in Bite size learning, Change management, Decision Making, Emotional Intelligence

Out of which maze…

Dr. Spencer Johnson wrote the follow up to “Who moved my cheese…?” and called it “Out of the maze” he delivered it to his publishers shortly before he died in July 2017. Very poignantly the book includes a letter he wrote to his own tumour. The belief he attached to the tumour was fear until he realised that if he loved the tumour, he would become far more appreciative of the life he had left and ultimately more loving to his family and friends.

For those of you who have not read the bestseller “Who moved my cheese…?’ the theme is that cheese is a metaphor for what you want to have in life and the maze is where you look for what you want.  The book emphasises the need to adapt to change and move with the cheese.

“Out of the maze” picks up with one of the characters who was left in the maze Hem, and the book asks the question what if you don’t know where to begin.

The central character (Hem) is locked by the fact change has happened and the belief that things will never be the same.  However he meets the character “Hope” who says “Maybe they can turn out better than they were…”

We have beliefs that we get locked into and they can hold you prisoner in a mindset.  A belief is a thought that you trust is true, which can be either hold you down or lift you up.  Therefore you can change your mind if you choose a new belief.   You must not become the belief, you are the person who chooses your beliefs.

The book “Out of the maze…” goes even further by saying – there are no limits to what you can believe.   You can simply change your mind by having new beliefs.

Sometime we have to believe before we can see the result so that we get into the right frame of mind.

An example:- believe you can sell your business before you have put it on the market and then you will do all that is necessary to get it ready to sell

On the journey to get out of the maze the character had to lose old baggage which is a metaphor for old thinking and beliefs.   We often on the journey have to seek out the very things we have always avoided.  Explore what has until now always seemed impossible.

The reflections at the end of the book, put it very succinctly “The Maze I need to get out of? is my own thinking”

Please do get in touch  bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in Bite size learning, Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, personal impact, Relationships

How to never eat alone…?

Keith Ferrazzi wrote the book “Never eat alone” back in 2005 it laid out the steps and the inner mindset he uses to reach out to colleagues, friends and the thousands of people who have helped him. Originally the books was going to be called “You can’t get there alone”

Ferrazzi was the son of a steelworker and a cleaner who wanted him to have the best start. He was able to advance to Yale, Harvard and several top executive posts. The most remarkable part of his achievements was the network he created from Washington to Hollywood.

His form of connecting was based on the generosity of helping friends connect with other friends. He distinguishes this as genuine relationship building not the crude glad-handing associated with networking.

These are just some of his thoughts and tips:-

  • No-one can achieve their goals without others
  • To build relationships over a lifetime – you will need intimacy, generosity, candour and accountability.
  • You can’t get very far alone.
  • Treat your life as one big event, relationship building (not networking)
  • Give before you receive
  • Follow up quickly within 12 or 24 hours of that initial meeting
  • Be you
  • Be of service – “how can I help you…?”

The book is divided into four sections which give you a great compass as to how to get to the level of relationship building of Ferrazzi.

  • The mind-set
  • The skill-set
  • Turning connections into compatriots
  • Trading up and giving back

To understand more about the book, please do come to the nuggets book club this week, for more details please get in touch bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in coaching, Emotional Intelligence, mindfulness, personal impact, Relationships, Stress management

Speaking to yourself as you would to a friend…

I recently reviewed the book “The Kindness Method” by Shahroo Izadi who explains how harsh we are on ourselves. She says you would not be that fierce with a friend so why are we with ourselves. This morning I came across this story which completely reinforces her theory.

In his book, Feeling Great, Dr. David Burns recounts a conversation with a carpenter, Frank, who was painting his house. One day, upon returning home, Dr. Burns noticed a change in Frank’s usually sunny disposition and asked if he was feeling alright.

“I’m getting old,” he confessed, fighting back tears. “My body won’t be able to keep up the same pace for much longer. I’m worried that I might not have enough money to support my wife and me when I retire. “I’ve never accomplished anything meaningful or significant in my life.”

Feeling bad for Frank, Dr. Burns asked if he could try something helpful called the double standard technique.

Here’s how he describes it,

“When we’re upset or fall short of our goals, we tend to beat up on ourselves with harsh criticisms. But if we were talking to a dear friend with the same exact problem, we’d do so in a far more compassionate, supportive, and realistic way. Once you’re aware of this, you can ask yourself if you’d be willing to talk to yourself in the same compassionate way you’d talk to a dear friend.”

After asking what he would say to a friend in his position, Frank replied that he would remind that friend that he and his wife would have a decent retirement and be fine even if he decided to retire someday. Moreover, he would assure his friend that he had never once received a complaint about his work, not even once, nor had he ever cheated anyone—and that’s as meaningful as it is significant.

Much to Frank’s surprise, his sadness wasn’t caused by his age, nor his fear of financial hardship come retirement, but rather, his negative thoughts.

The story resonates for the times we are in at the moment we all need to be kind to each other and give more feedback than usual. We need to give authentic praise that has true value within it. Say what the person has done well, but substantiate with evidence and make it specific to that individual. Most importantly try giving yourself some value based praise, we all need a boost.

Please do get in touch with nuggets for a short workshop or coaching by contacting bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk