Posted in Bite size learning, coaching, Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, mindfulness, motivation

Dose of Happiness…

We create our own happiness by choosing the state that we go into, however how much are we aided by the chemicals in our brain.  Science colliding with our emotional intelligence.

At a talk at our son’s school they explained how teenagers can steer their behaviour with bearing in mind the dosage they need to be happy.   It is healthy for teenagers to hug and want companionship and yet social media does not give them that intimacy or immediate closeness.  The wrong elements of the happiness can be exaggerated, the teenagers can become addicted to posting and the reaction of their friends.

Simon Sinek of TED talk fame and for the book “Start with Why”, explained when writing his book “Leaders Eat Last” the chemicals that makes us happy.

He used the mnemonic EDSO however at my son’s school last week they made it far more catchy – DOSE of happiness.

DOPAMINE – motivates us to achieve incremental goals. It is the greed element of the brain it makes us feel good when we tick things off the to-do list and it can become highly addictive.

OXYTOCIN – creates intimacy, trust and the feeling that some-one will protect you.  Mothers and babies and lovers feel this when they are protected and loved, the feeling of safety.

SEROTONIN – provides the feeling of significance, pride, status.  It drives us to seek the recognition of others.  I want to do it so that my family are proud of me.  It reinforces relationships within a group, it can give cohesion to a team.

ENDORPHINS – keeps us going during work outs or runs, it helps us endure difficulties.  We have the same rush when we laugh.

If we were put them into a table:-

Chemicals for Happiness Key phrase Example
DOPAMINE One more Setting and achieving milestones
OXYTOCIN Intimacy and safety One-on-ones with Manager
SEROTONIN Loyalty Making the team proud
ENDORPHINS No pain Late night working

The right DOSE can steer you through an organisation and life.   Check-in to see whether you are being exposed to the right amount in each area.

Please do get in touch for a workshop on Happiness bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

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Posted in Bite size learning, Leadership, mindfulness, Stress management, Time management

Short time horizon…

The snow globe is a very visual representation as to how we live our lives.  We focus on the small things and yet some-one is forever shaking it up.  The building or structure in the centre of the globe we forget about.

We enjoy achieving the small stuff as we get that buzz of achievement, we have ticked a list or highlighted an accomplishment. We release dopamine in the brain the feel good chemical, instant gratification.

We have attended 3 meetings this week however they may have no complexity.  Thinking is not linear and involves engaging the brain fully.  The temptation to achieve immediate is everywhere.  The email pop up could easily take you away from the hard report that needs to be written and involves thinking.  We get addicted at accumulating small tasks, it is called structured procrastination.

This short term horizon is due to the fact that we are now a society based on impulse.  We crave automatic self stimulation, we send a message and we crave the reply.  We create an addictive cycle.

We are encouraged to do more and now with technology we have no limits.  There are now work addiction groups.  People enjoy the control that task accomplishment gives them, where as living life does not have the same completion and control.

An example would be a Senior Executive has to forecast next year’s figures, it will be a black and white document with figures based on the evidence of the previous year.  The same Executive has to manage the behaviour of their 18 month old who has not yet mastered sleeping through the night.  You can guess which one has the linear thinking and the control and the latter requires a more creative approach.

The culture we have created is “Try harder” and it is a “Short time Horizon” we need to look to a broader, slower and altogether bigger horizon.  Try this week to do more thinking.

Please do get in touch to explore thinking more bev@nuggetoflearning.co.uk

 

Posted in Bite size learning, Goals, Leadership, Management

Objective setting…

“What gets measured gets done…” Tom Peters

Objectives setting should be seen as an important exercise and not just an unnecessary layer of bureaucracy.

The scene needs to be set that everyone is involved and that they set their own objectives. Everyone needs to “Begin with the end in mind” – Stephen Covey, what do you want to achieve and how will you feel if it happens.

You need to get excited at the direction the objective could take you in. This will occur by taking an inside out approach, already imagining “What will be happening…?”

Also to understand the relevancy of the objective you need to reverse the psychology “What won’t be happening if I don’t set this objective?” This tells you whether it was realistic in the first place.

Stretch objectives takes us just a little further from our comfort zone this means we appreciate and value the effort to achieve. Setting an easy objective leads to complacency and does not move our performance within an organisation.

Objectives provide a story and a history of progression without them it is a book without chapters.

Please visit our website for more workshops www.nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, Management, Relationships

Knowledge Vs Wisdom

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit and wisdom is knowing that it does not go in a fruit salad.

Knowledge is your IQ (intelligence quotient), your data and facts that you have acquired.  Wisdom is your EQ (emotional quotient), the application and , how well you do something and it is appropriate.

Therefore going into leadership we need more wisdom than knowledge and we must not be intimidated by millennials with bags of current knowledge.  Wisdom is maturity of the mind, knowing what works and what does not work.  As parents we can steer our children’s behaviour by dipping into our wisdom far more than knowledge.

  • Knowledge is knowing how to manage your money by budgeting, spending and saving
  • Wisdom is understanding how money impacts the quality of your life and your future

If you were to use knowledge vs wisdom as an equation to everything you do as the example above demonstrates, you can evaluate the knowledge accumulation.  Where will knowledge take you and how will you apply it.  We sometimes do tasks for the sake of doing them, recording expenditure is a good example.  If you never apply any wisdom to the sums recorded you will not have used knowledge and wisdom as a formula.

Knowledge is a tool, and wisdom is the craft in which the tool is used

Leadership is leaning far more towards wisdom, applying and just knowing whether something is right or wrong.  Past life experiences will determine whether an individual is taking the best path.

Knowledge is knowing what to say and Wisdom is knowing when to say it.

For a leadership workshop please do take a tour of website www.nuggetsoflearning.co.uk  and contact bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk 

Posted in Bite size learning, coaching, Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, Management, personal impact

Behaviour Vs Attitude…

We can only comment on what we see, not what we think is driving behaviour. So an example would be:-

Alice always appears very unhelpful when people enter the department, she never welcomes anyone.

We could make an assumption that she has a bad attitude. However we must only give feedback on the observable. Our personality is made up of values, skills, beliefs and attitudes we have collated to be our unique self.

Alice needs feedback on just behaviour that we can see:-

Alice I have seen that every time anyone enters the department you never look up, you never make eye contact with them or say anything”

 We would hope that Alice might explain, she hates being at the front desk, she has always been shy, she did not realise it was a requirement or she said sorry and was keen to do it differently.

Think about the balance between a behaviour and an attitude, what is behind and what is driving it. You often notice more when some-ones behaviour is not in sync with their usual demeanor.

A very handy mnemonic to keep you on the right track (“SBI”):-

S – Situation – what can you see happening?

B – Behaviour – what are they doing, only observable?

I – Impact – what do they think could be the impact of this behaviour?

It is always better if an individual can self assess their behaviour, no-one likes to be told where they are going wrong.

Please do get in touch if you would like your team to have a workshop on feedback.

www.nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

and contact bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

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Posted in coaching, Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, personal impact

Brand “you”

Knowing and understanding your own personal brand is all about asking yourself the right questions, uncovering what you are about.  What is underneath the packaging, who YOU really are.

There is a lot written about authenticity and being genuine.  A strong foundation that is based on truth will be the way to secure a true brand.

“The most exhausting thing in life, I have discovered, is being insincere.” – Anne Morrow Lindbergh author of “Gift from the Sea”

Being some-one you are not is hard work, think about Actors playing characters, often twice a day for a matinee and evening performance they are exhausted.  If you are not true to yourself you run the risk of eventually being found out, famously in the 1990s was a pop duo Milli Vanilli.  Their first album earned them a Grammy for Best New Artist.  It materialised the duo could not sing and had been lip synching to the music.  Their Grammy was revoked and no-one heard from them until sadly the tragic accidental death in 1998 of one of the pair.  This is an extreme example of not being who YOU really are.

The path to a true brand starts with key questions:-

7 questions – from the Personal Branding Guru – William Arruda

1. What do you do better than anyone else?
2. What are your top values?
3. What do people frequently give you praise for?
4. What is that people come to you for?
5. What adjectives do people use to describe you?
6. How do you do what you do?
7. What energises you?
This is the starting point to brand YOU.
Please do take a look at our website as to how you can work with nuggets on personal branding www.nuggetsoflearning.co.uk 
Posted in coaching, Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, personal impact

Windows of the soul…

Understanding what we show others and what they see when they look at us.

The model Johari’s window was created by Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham in 1955. The tool is a useful visual representation of a person’s character, and is represented with a four-quadrant grid.

The tool is very practical in knowing what you project and what you are happy to share. It is a development tool which is very useful for increasing an individuals self awareness. The windows demonstrate the memory they leave and the key question:- “What shadow do you cast?”

 

1. Public Arena

 

 3. Blind Spot

 

2. Private Arena

 

 4. Unknown/Secret Self

Window 1.

Public Arena – I know what you know about me, and you know what you know about me.

Some individuals have huge Public windows, they are happy to share everything, from their holiday plans to the interior of their homes.

Window 2.

Private Arena – I know things about myself that I am not willing to share.

Making your windows work for you will be about deciding how much you wish to share with colleagues.

Window 3.

Blindspots – Things you know about me and I don’t know about me

Often known as the bad breath spot, we need to find out more about ourselves by seeking feedback.

Window 4.

Unknown/Secret Self – Things I don’t know about myself and things you don’t know about me

This is the heroic window. We don’t know how we would cope with certain dramatic events as they have not happened. We also don’t know how far our skills will reach, if we don’t take risks. This window is exploratory, however it should not be ignored.

Map out your windows and see where you want to decrease or increase the size.

Please look at our website to see how nuggets can work with your company on practical management theory, making it relevant and applicable www.nuggetsoflearning.co.uk