Posted in Bite size learning, coaching, Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, Management, personal impact

Behaviour Vs Attitude…

We can only comment on what we see, not what we think is driving behaviour. So an example would be:-

Alice always appears very unhelpful when people enter the department, she never welcomes anyone.

We could make an assumption that she has a bad attitude. However we must only give feedback on the observable. Our personality is made up of values, skills, beliefs and attitudes we have collated to be our unique self.

Alice needs feedback on just behaviour that we can see:-

Alice I have seen that every time anyone enters the department you never look up, you never make eye contact with them or say anything”

 We would hope that Alice might explain, she hates being at the front desk, she has always been shy, she did not realise it was a requirement or she said sorry and was keen to do it differently.

Think about the balance between a behaviour and an attitude, what is behind and what is driving it. You often notice more when some-ones behaviour is not in sync with their usual demeanor.

A very handy mnemonic to keep you on the right track (“SBI”):-

S – Situation – what can you see happening?

B – Behaviour – what are they doing, only observable?

I – Impact – what do they think could be the impact of this behaviour?

It is always better if an individual can self assess their behaviour, no-one likes to be told where they are going wrong.

Please do get in touch if you would like your team to have a workshop on feedback.

www.nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

and contact bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

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Posted in coaching, Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, personal impact

Brand “you”

Knowing and understanding your own personal brand is all about asking yourself the right questions, uncovering what you are about.  What is underneath the packaging, who YOU really are.

There is a lot written about authenticity and being genuine.  A strong foundation that is based on truth will be the way to secure a true brand.

“The most exhausting thing in life, I have discovered, is being insincere.” – Anne Morrow Lindbergh author of “Gift from the Sea”

Being some-one you are not is hard work, think about Actors playing characters, often twice a day for a matinee and evening performance they are exhausted.  If you are not true to yourself you run the risk of eventually being found out, famously in the 1990s was a pop duo Milli Vanilli.  Their first album earned them a Grammy for Best New Artist.  It materialised the duo could not sing and had been lip synching to the music.  Their Grammy was revoked and no-one heard from them until sadly the tragic accidental death in 1998 of one of the pair.  This is an extreme example of not being who YOU really are.

The path to a true brand starts with key questions:-

7 questions – from the Personal Branding Guru – William Arruda

1. What do you do better than anyone else?
2. What are your top values?
3. What do people frequently give you praise for?
4. What is that people come to you for?
5. What adjectives do people use to describe you?
6. How do you do what you do?
7. What energises you?
This is the starting point to brand YOU.
Please do take a look at our website as to how you can work with nuggets on personal branding www.nuggetsoflearning.co.uk 
Posted in coaching, Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, personal impact

Windows of the soul…

Understanding what we show others and what they see when they look at us.

The model Johari’s window was created by Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham in 1955. The tool is a useful visual representation of a person’s character, and is represented with a four-quadrant grid.

The tool is very practical in knowing what you project and what you are happy to share. It is a development tool which is very useful for increasing an individuals self awareness. The windows demonstrate the memory they leave and the key question:- “What shadow do you cast?”

 

1. Public Arena

 

 3. Blind Spot

 

2. Private Arena

 

 4. Unknown/Secret Self

Window 1.

Public Arena – I know what you know about me, and you know what you know about me.

Some individuals have huge Public windows, they are happy to share everything, from their holiday plans to the interior of their homes.

Window 2.

Private Arena – I know things about myself that I am not willing to share.

Making your windows work for you will be about deciding how much you wish to share with colleagues.

Window 3.

Blindspots – Things you know about me and I don’t know about me

Often known as the bad breath spot, we need to find out more about ourselves by seeking feedback.

Window 4.

Unknown/Secret Self – Things I don’t know about myself and things you don’t know about me

This is the heroic window. We don’t know how we would cope with certain dramatic events as they have not happened. We also don’t know how far our skills will reach, if we don’t take risks. This window is exploratory, however it should not be ignored.

Map out your windows and see where you want to decrease or increase the size.

Please look at our website to see how nuggets can work with your company on practical management theory, making it relevant and applicable www.nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, personal impact, Relationships

Exposure of you…

I am not talking a streak through the office, there are other ways to get yourself noticed.

Studies show that we need to fit into the environment we work in, so the more you do within that space the more your face will fit.

Harvey Coleman studied the reasons why people get promotion and how in general individuals can feel empowered.  The results were set into three categories:-

  • Performance
  • Image
  • Exposure

If you perform exceptionally well at your job, you cultivate a great image and you are known by all the right people you will be successful.

Exposure or visibility equated to 60% of the success factor to getting promotion, so what they know about you before has the greatest impact.

Image follows on 30% and performance brings up the rear at 10%.  Obviously if you got the promotion and could not do the job you would ultimately be caught out.

In the meantime how can we make exposure practical:-

  • Take on more responsibility within your role
  • Volunteer for internal projects
  • Get involved in community projects
  • Participate in company sponsored activities
  • Visibly demonstrate a team player attitude
  • Be willing to learn new skills and experience different situations
  • Attend social events organised by the office
  • Be a fire marshal/first aider
  • Put yourself forward as team representative

So before you take off any clothes, have a look at the list above and take a more practical step to working your exposure.  Ensure you remain true to who you are and your values and most importantly be authentic.

For a worksop on empowering yourself please contact bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

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Posted in coaching, Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, Relationships

Evoke Transformation

Working as a coach you can get right to the end of the session before you get to that transformational moment.

When you start on a journey with a client you want to get to that point where you evoke transformation.  The client recognises a new way of seeing a situation their thinking changes and they can see a new response.

We get trapped in our daily rituals and don’t often have fresh eyes on changing our routine.  A coach challenges your thinking and gets you to change the status quo.

As a coach you must always trust that your client is naturally creative, resourceful and whole as a person.  They always have the answers you ask the questions to unlock their thoughts to evoke change.

The agenda belongs to the client and you follow as the trusted guide.  You are responsible in this role, and challenge only where appropriate.

The coach must ensure accountability around any change, you want to see progression so therefore actions must be held to account.

Acknowledging progress and championing the clients achievements is essential for motivation and relationship building.

The coach is responsible for articulating the thoughts of their client and constantly reflecting using their words where their journey is taking them.

As a client and a coach to evoke transformation is very uplifting.

Please do get in touch for 1:1 coaching bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

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Posted in coaching, Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, personal impact

Read the signals…

 

I am forever saying to my family read the signals.  We can gain a more meaningful connection if we look beyond.

Our emotional intelligence radar is about noticing the changes in behaviour of others.  When we observe people we have taken in the whole 100%.  Their physicality is the largest proportion of that 100%, it counts for 55%.  We are looking for seepage in their body language is their any leakage.

The leakage indicates a change in their state, how they are feeling about what you are saying or a trigger in their own head.  The signals of a change can be anything from a slight twitch, massive change in expression or a slight flick of the hair.

Tonality at 35% is another clue to watch out for, has their voice risen or gone softer, does it give you the feeling of discomfort.

Words and language give us the final 10% however they are not on their own enough to tell us what is going on.  We know so many hide behind emails as the words are not showing the signals.

I have witnessed many people trying to leave a course and others are not reading the signals and letting the person escape.

Be the best memory and not the worst, be intuitive and read the signals.

For a workshop on developing your emotional intelligence contact bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

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Posted in coaching, Leadership, personal impact, Relationships

What Vs How

 

We can all work hard at what we have to get done and often just review what we have achieved.  How we went about the task or challenge can be more revealing about the overall performance.

It is the same balance between being and doing, which we often use as language in coaching to explain to a client where they might be.  The world demands that we constantly keep producing and that means “doing” getting stuff done.  Generating 100s of emails shows  that you are working on the “what” and the “doing”.

The “being” side is “how” we went about the work and how we want to be remembered.  The value of who we are as a person is all about how we work.

To focus more on how, carry out the following:-

  • Self review on projects
  • Seek feedback from others – on projects – meetings
  • Review yourself daily/weekly/monthly
  • As a team conduct wash-up meeting

How will last in the memory longer than What.

For a workshop on making the “How” matter please do contact bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk