Posted in Bite size learning, Emotional Intelligence, mindfulness, Time management

Killing time…

 

Most people complain about not having enough time, so why would you ever need to contemplate killing time.  All good time management courses get you to fill the time you have and be prepared for transition time so there really are no voids.

When some-one else’s agenda is forced upon you and they are in position where they have nothing to do in the space you “kill time”.

Initially if you are slipping off a busy agenda you mentally fight the imposed time you have been given to waste.   We adjust slowly and there is now so much visual stimulation that do we ever totally switch off.  The phone is a constant link to another place and time you could be at the moment when you are supposedly doing nothing.

Managing time is all about managing our own behaviour and another choice as to whether we choose to kill time and relax into it.

Time as a definition is “A non spatial continuum in which events occur in apparently irreversible succession from the past through the present to the future”.  We can accept the flow from past/present to future or we can mourn the passing of time.

The most positive approach might be:-  “Don’t count every hour in the day – make every hour in the day count”

Please look at our website www.nuggetsoflearning.co.uk for 90 minutes of learning on managing time or contact bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

artistic-2063_1920

Posted in Bite size learning, coaching, Emotional Intelligence, mindfulness, personal impact, Stress management

Managing “You”

Have you ever heard the voices in your head as you reach for the doughnut.  One is clearly saying go for it, you deserve it, the other is saying do not eat it.

Dr Steve Peters the author of the Chimp Paradox explains who the voices are and how to keep on top of them.  We have the Chimp speaking from our limbic brain, with its basic reactive response and its short term view.  The other voice is our Human mind is the prefrontal area which is thinking of consequences and evidence and taking a long term view. The other area of the mind which will guide both of them is the computer, where memories are stored.  This will let you know how good the doughnut tasted last time, and equally how guilty you felt afterwards.

The Chimp only provides suggestions and we must remember these are not actions to follow.  The key is to always manage the Chimp.

The book provides 4 strategies for doing so:-

  1. Exercise it – let your emotions out with someone you trust
  2. Reward it – give your Chimp a banana, if I get this done we will do this (eg. eat the doughnut)
  3. Box it – use your Human brain to work with the Chimp, evaluate suggestions
  4. Distracting it – count to 10 backwards, this prevents the Chimp being reactive it pauses it

There are many mind management systems out there to manage your emotions however not many have such successes attributed to them.  Dr Steve Peters worked with the British cyclists Sir Chris Hoy, Sir Bradley Wiggins and Victoria Pendleton.

For more help on working out your responses please do work with nuggets as a personal coach or delivering a 90 minute course to your team.

http://www.nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in Bite size learning, Emotional Intelligence, mindfulness, personal impact

What is being assertive…?

There are only four behaviours and yet we find it so hard to locate the assertive voice within us.

We know that it is being true to ourself and saying what we genuinely mean, however we find it hard to articulate.

The other behaviours that get in the way are:-

  • Aggressive – too strong as a voice
  • Passive- too weak
  • Passive/Aggressive – not really our voice

Behaviour is contagious so if some-one raises the voice they unlock within us an equally aggressive tone.  We need to instigate the pause button to release the assertive behaviour which is very simplistically, “Say what you mean and mean what you say”.

Adam Galinsky explains that speaking out is all about finding a your own personal range, the voice that works for you.   Being sure of the perspective you see in front of you.  He tells the story of a bank raid where the banking clerk just asked why the amount was so specific.  The bank robber explained it was the rent his friend owed in order to prevent eviction.  She calmly suggested that they chat through a bank loan rather than proceed with the raid.  The calmness and empathetic approach of this bank clerk prevented what could have been a very catastrophic situation.

Being sure of the perspective you see in front of you is all about being assertive.  In the book “Getting to Yes” by Roger Fisher and William Ury they repeat that the best negotiating is always to look behind the position and ask why it matters.

We can deliver an Assertion workshop in 90 minutes at your workplace, please do visit our website to find out more http://www.nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in Emotional Intelligence, Goals, mindfulness, personal impact

Being truly aware of who you are…

We have our own unique style and we leave a memory of ourselves in others.

The greater our self awareness is the ability to see ourselves with our own eyes.  We therefore need to understand the following:-

  • Goals – what do want to achieve short and long term
  • Beliefs – about ourself and others
  • Values – the bedrock of who we are as a person and what drives our behaviour
  • Drivers – the amount of energy and motivation
  • Rules – the discipline and rituals that guide us
  • Self talk – your inner voice that tells you that you can or cannot do something

Pulling all of these together you create a unique personal style, which encompasses your skills. You are aware of the impact of your physical presence on others as you have the same view as they do.  You know your energy levels empower others and your non verbal behaviour is comfortable and reasuring.  This is an example of an emotional intelligent individual with good self awareness.

Please do look at our website as to how we would deliver self awareness as a 90 minute module www.nuggetsoflearning.co.uk 

Posted in coaching, Goals, mindfulness, personal impact

We are what we eat…?

Everything that we eat is what we are about, in terms of mind, body and spirit.  You can wrap it up by saying our overall well being is dictated by what we put in.

Whether it be food or  good thinking.

I was very lucky last Monday to attend a talk by Liz Earle MBE an advocate for well being.  The subject is far reaching, from labelling on food to how many hours we sleep and what is actually in sun cream.

Liz made sense and as an example of well being, looked amazing.

She was interviewed by a friend so the atmosphere was warm and comfortable.   Liz began by explaining her journey from journalist, to TV, creating the Skincare range and to her current work of writing and presenting on well being.

We make decisions on what we know and yet often we do not apply much thinking to what we are eating.  You could spend lots of time working out nutritional values however Liz made it very easy.  Think about what you are eating and what they have been eating, and then some things are just straightforward e.g. things from the ground.  If you know the route to your mouth and you are happy then you will enjoy your food.

Packaging to food is now very complex and often misleading.  Recently Waitrose ran a campaign on British Lamb it turned out the recipe was British however the lamb being sold was New Zealand.  We have to be take our own personal responsibility to look beyond the initial message.

Sleep is possibly a good starting point for well being and Liz shared the fact that 7.5 hours a night is the optimum.  Time before midnight is far more valuable than after.  So getting to bed earlier is more effective than staying in for that lie in the next morning. Banking sleep works in the short term.

As a nation we all need vitamin D and 20 minutes in the sun will possibly do us a world of good and the Liz Earle skincare range does not contain any SPF.  It is again about using the right tools for the right job.  If you want to protect yourself from the sun, use an expensive sun cream that does that job, don’t expect your normal skin care to do that for you.  This is true in business don’t expect your accountant to advise on your marketing.  Everything does the job you ask it to do.

Liz Earle has been incredibly successful in so many areas and one of her key messages was

“Be different – have a business that looks different”

Please visit our website for more details about our workshops and coaching www.nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Please do contact bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in coaching, mindfulness, personal impact, Relationships

Currency of thank you

We exchange “thank you” on a daily basis in various forms.  The currency of thank you is ever increasing and the value is never diminished.

The most obvious is the words being said out loud, nothing greater and better.

In your car might be a flash of your lights, acknowledged and welcomed as a great exchange.

Text messages use emojis as the currency of thank you, humorous and quick.

The old fashioned handwritten note involves time and effort however the personalisation is of huge value.

Within UK culture we often say thank you when in actual fact we have not even received any trade.  It is part of our language and therefore is currency of friendship and business.

Take time to do a thank you really well, make it specific to the individual and go even further to explain the value.  If you think of a monetary trade there would always be a cost think the same way with your thank you.  What are you grateful for and how is making a difference…?

Enjoy every exchange this week…and thank you so much to all my readers it is fantastic to receive feedback and encouragement.

Please do contact us bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

photo

Save

Posted in Leadership, mindfulness, personal impact, Relationships

Dishonest friendship…

 

Connecting with your friends and seeing their updates seems fabulous what could be nicer.  Smiling faces and shots of lovely exotic holidays and so many plates of delicious food.  In between the fabulous holiday snaps are some random posts of very harrowing stories and charities asking for money.

This is not a genuine or honest connection with your friends.  It is a rather odd snapshot into their lives.  It is almost like a celebrity in the press, it tells you nothing.

Authenticity is what is needed to build relationships and can only be achieved by the physicality of meeting up and being there.

There is often a competitiveness with the posts and an element of showing off.  This is not true friendship where you connect on a level and have a meaningful dialogue.

Therefore how can you make it work for you and glean the positive messages and filter out the noise.

There is humour and elements of genuine connection the more specific the post, the more meaning it may contain.

However will your children thank you in years to come for sharing their achievements Some once said to me “You will never find anyone who loves your children as much as you”, therefore I decided a long time ago not to share.

Is it possible to promote a business on these sites and share your products and services.  The more visual the business – then it is ideal.  Selling furniture and receiving likes for your images would be brilliant. This could be an honest and straightforward business relationship and therefore a true connection.

When you enter these sites be in a positive frame of mind yourself and think it is like flicking through a magazine and at its best a mere snapshot into the lives of your friends.

Use the posts as a platform to have a meaningful connection.

 

shutterstock_19996210