We create our own happiness by choosing the state that we go into, however how much are we aided by the chemicals in our brain. Science colliding with our emotional intelligence.
At a talk at our son’s school they explained how teenagers can steer their behaviour with bearing in mind the dosage they need to be happy. It is healthy for teenagers to hug and want companionship and yet social media does not give them that intimacy or immediate closeness. The wrong elements of the happiness can be exaggerated, the teenagers can become addicted to posting and the reaction of their friends.
Simon Sinek of TED talk fame and for the book “Start with Why”, explained when writing his book “Leaders Eat Last” the chemicals that makes us happy.
He used the mnemonic EDSO however at my son’s school last week they made it far more catchy – DOSE of happiness.
DOPAMINE – motivates us to achieve incremental goals. It is the greed element of the brain it makes us feel good when we tick things off the to-do list and it can become highly addictive.
OXYTOCIN – creates intimacy, trust and the feeling that some-one will protect you. Mothers and babies and lovers feel this when they are protected and loved, the feeling of safety.
SEROTONIN – provides the feeling of significance, pride, status. It drives us to seek the recognition of others. I want to do it so that my family are proud of me. It reinforces relationships within a group, it can give cohesion to a team.
ENDORPHINS – keeps us going during work outs or runs, it helps us endure difficulties. We have the same rush when we laugh.
If we were put them into a table:-
|Chemicals for Happiness
||Setting and achieving milestones
||Intimacy and safety
||One-on-ones with Manager
||Making the team proud
||Late night working
The right DOSE can steer you through an organisation and life. Check-in to see whether you are being exposed to the right amount in each area.
Please do get in touch for a workshop on Happiness firstname.lastname@example.org
Our behaviour is a function of our decisions and choices not our conditions.
We have the freedom to choose our responses despite the circumstances. We will always have our own imagination, conscience as to what feels right or wrong and our very own independent will to choose.
Reactive people are:-
- driven by circumstances, conditions whether they be social or physical
- if the weather is good, they feel good, if the weather is bad they feel bad
- when people treat them well, they feel well, when people mistreat them they become defensive
- mistakes are blamed on others, rationalised as being inevitable
- focus on concerns
- use “have” language
Proactive people are:-
- driven by values
- carry their own weather, rain or shine
- mistakes are acknowledged instantly and corrected, and learnt from
- focus on things they can influence
- use language with choice
- Eleanor Roosevelt said “No-one can hurt you without your consent”
Our ability to live a life of choice is our ability to focus on what we can influence and not focus on the concerns we cannot change.
Please do contact nuggets for a workshop on Proactive Thinking email@example.com
Employee engagement drives bottom line, however what does engagement mean and how do you help employees connect with the company.
Teresa Amabile and Steven Kramer co authored the book the Progress Principle which explored the question of when people are motivated and engaged at work. They recruited 238 people across 7 companies, and everyday they completed a diary entry and a questionnaire. After 12,000 days worth of data Amabile & Kramer drew conclusions from the information.
The most conclusive result was that people are most motivated when they are making progress on meaningful work. The most powerful thing to excite, engage is moving forward even if it is a small win. That is the progress principle.
The terminology the pair used in their book was “inner work life” – what moves you forward?
What was the most startling find was a negative impact can be 2 or 3 times more damaging than a positive move forward.
We therefore need to be most aware of our nourishers and our toxins. These can be people and also environments. Think about a place where you are really productive and a place with the opposite effect. We make the choices as to where we spend our time and we need to ensure that we look after ourself by the environment we work in.
How do you keep yourself moving forward?
- Stay focused – know what you want to achieve
- Track small wins – write down what you want to get done
- Spend at least 30 minutes each day on meaningful work
How do Manager’s apply the Progress Principle?
- Catalysts – Share clear goals, with milestones and quick wins along the way
- Autonomy – Empower team members to take initiative and responsibility
- Resources – Provide the right materials at the right time
- Human support – Being there
Please do contact nuggets for a workshop on “Understanding your Motivation”
Small drop of kindness
I was early for a coaching session last week, so I grabbed a free coffee from Waitrose. I was browsing their entertaining brochure contemplating whether I could cook a whole salmon or was it beyond my culinary expertise.
I was perched quite precariously on a bar stool when I was tapped on the shoulder. My instant reaction was one of alarm, that something was wrong. In fact when I turned to face the individual it was a smiling lady with a young child.
“I just wanted you to know that your dress is really pretty and you look good”
“I thought you were going to say something really bad”
This act of kindness was so unexpected I did not make the thank you as gracious as possible. How brilliant to compliment a complete stranger.
Although I know “it is as gracious to receive as to give” – the stranger/danger tripped into my psyche all too quickly. My other negative thought was that some other malfunction may have happened with dress and barstool (which we have all done).
To the lady in Waitrose Rickmansworth Thursday 15th September, huge thank you. It was a wonderful thing to happen and I did go into my coaching session on a high. Created some great outcomes with my client obviously boosted by the drop of kindness. At the weekend cooked the whole salmon!
Please do contact nuggets for private coaching to develop you…
Working as a coach I ask my clients to look to the future as to what they want to achieve. Framing the conversation so that they feel safe and supported is very important for them to believe the goals can be achieved.
Using laminated cards I ask that they walk the timeline so that they are moving forward with their thoughts and stepping into the date time and place.
It is really important to take them to the future first, one year from now. Set the date and ask them what they and see as if they are there. Ensure that you don’t look at them so that it does not become a chat in the present day. They have arrived they are a year ahead in their business and they have achieved several things and you want to hear how proud and excited they are by all that they have worked on.
You then ask them to walk all the way back to the current space they are in at the moment. You spend half the time here that you spent in the future as often there are blocks to their thinking, absorbed in reasons why things are not happening.
Half way there
This is a great place for them to go they are half way through the year and still have the expectation that all can be achieved. They will have had some successes along the way and will visualise their goals taking shape.
Intermediate steps and actions
You are now 3 months before the end of the year so it is the finishing touches stage to a great year and almost planning the next. It is the final hurdle and you might have seen a new finish to your race, squeeze in some extra work or meet some new clients.
Immediate steps & actions
Bring them back to a space where things are reality, what will they do now, tomorrow and in the next few weeks. Everything becomes tangible and actionable.
Please do not hesitate to contact nuggets to walk your own timeline.
We are all just merely stewards in our role, managing and co-ordinating waiting for the next person to takeover. We are custodians for a short period, the new owners of your role or business can quite feasibly turn it upside down.
Years ago I left a job and my boss said make sure you leave with them wanting more, go out on a high. If we are just stewards holding a role until new shoes come in, we need to make sure we leave it in a really fantastic state.
Hand back the role in a better place than when you took over the stewardship. Steer it to greatness and leave a legacy that is right for the role.
Top tips for leaving a job:-
- Clear processes and systems written down
- Clear goals and targets
- Personable handover of team – social connection
- Bios of team members
- Clear desk (it says more than you think) no-one wants to find a stale apple core in your draw
- Plan of meetings to attend
- Planner or schedule
Holidays are a great time to reevaluate what is going well and what is not going quite so well. I know it is a time to relax, however I cannot resist always doing an exercise on the sun bed to check that the business and myself as an individual are on track.
Normally I select some key questions to identify what has just happened and what I want it to look like going forward.
The answers can then be assessed when I get back home to build a robust plan for September and beyond.
Please find some key questions that might help you and your business:-
- Who are the most important people in your life and how do they support you?
- With whom do you feel most comfortable? Why is this?
- What are you going to say yes to…?
- What are you going to say no to…?
- What is your business like when it is at is very best?
- What are the challenges facing your business?
- What are all the ways in which you market your business? Dream up as many new ideas as possible?
- What new trends exist in your sector that can develop your business?
- What is the most important thing to you about what you do?
Please do get in touch if you would like a business coach in September