Posted in Bite size learning, coaching, Decision Making, Goals, motivation, personal impact, Time management

Effortless & Enjoyable

Diving into a task and visualising it as being effortless and enjoyable is hard. I often practice the approach from Brian Tracey’s bestseller “Eat that Frog” that if you had to eat a live frog you would want to eat it as quickly as possible. However my procrastination kicks in, and I am often overwhelmed by the frog. I look at it for a long time and have no idea where to start.

There is another approach that comes from the book “Effortless” by Greg McKeown. He uses a acronym to put us in the right frame of mind for a project.

D.D.O.G.G.

Done – What does done look like?

McKeown says take 60 seconds to visual the moment of completion. What is the final action? Pressing the send button on an email, pressing upload on YouTube or closing your window on the Zoom meeting, or is it plate of food you have created.

Delete – What steps can I delete it?

Start looking at the piece of work from 0 and thinking what steps do you need to carry out. Minimise the steps by deleting and combining, fancy recipes often have ingredients you don’t have and the taste might not be affected. A project or task on paper looks a lot less scary than in your head.

Obvious – What is the obvious first action?

Once you have the momentum of starting you relax into the project or task. The need to identify the first step is crucial, you may have done this by mapping out your tasks. In the book McKeown gives an example of some-one needing bookshelves and the first task would be to measure the walls. It materialises the reason the task has never moved forward is the individual did not own a tape measure – the obvious first task would be to buy or borrow a tape measure.

Gradual – What gradual pace can I sustain?

Establish a rate of progress that you can sustain and will enjoy. If you have to walk 30 miles, visualising a mile a day for 30 days is sustainable, 2 walks at 15 miles might overwhelm you. To quote McKeown “Do not do more today than you can completely recover from by tomorrow”.

Grateful – What can I be grateful for?

If you were to run a marathon and only focus on the aches and pains, you would feel every step. You need to focus on what you are grateful for. You will be grateful to the support you are receiving the progress you are making. Think of every time you complain replace it with something you are grateful for, and your step will be lighter.

In summary if you enter an:-

Effortless State – believing you can achieve the task and you will enjoy it.

Effortless Action – your gradual progress at the right pace for you

Effortless Results – focusing on the gratitude

Please do get in touch for a bitesize workshop with nuggets or a colourful coaching session bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

http://www.nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in Bite size learning, Change management, Emotional Intelligence, personal impact, Relationships, training

What does it mean to be Assertive…?

Working from home you need to be heard and it is a fine balance between sounding too aggressive or simply just being Assertive.

What does is mean to be Assertive?

Behaviour based on a philosophy of personal responsibility and awareness of the right of others.

What does it look like?

Good eye contact and an open posture, matched with clear communication.

Why is it so hard?

UK culture loves to use sarcasm, which however you wrap it up, sadly stills falls into the aggressive category. We are emotional by nature and therefore we are reactive, and sadly with low emotional intelligence we can become aggressive. With our fight/flight instinct we either go into fight mode tending to be aggressive or we flee to avoid conflict and fall into passive behaviour. Listening is a key element of being Assertive, however it is a skill and therefore you need to concentrate and have enough energy to do it well.

What are the five key ingredients of being Assertive?

  1. Listening
  2. Showing you understand by reflecting & summarising
  3. Saying how you think and feel
  4. Saying what you would like
  5. Considering the consequences on yourself and others

What do we mean by responsible Assertion?

If you imagine a set of scales with your own personal rights one end and the other end respect for the rights of others you would be creating the right balance = responsible assertion.

What assertion is not?

About getting your own way and winning every time. Manipulating and managing others to get your own way.

For a practical workshop on how to be more Assertive please book yourself onto our next Developing YOU module – Thursday 13th May @ 10.00am – £40 per person

Register in advance for this meeting:
https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZArdOGtrDkvGtZs6HuwtKuyly-BcjWefzfD

After registering, you will receive a confirmation email containing information about joining the meeting.

Posted in Bite size learning, coaching, Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, personal impact, Relationships, Stress management

Star quality in leadership…

Why do some leaders lead well and others fail? What do we mean when we talk about “real” leadership?

The “real” components are the ability to listen not just with your head but your heart as well. To be empathetic and not sympathetic. Finding the perfect assertion level that does not tip into aggression. Reading all situations with clarity and acting decisively, independently and most importantly with grace.

Understanding what makes us sad/mad and glad is the same for our colleagues, clients and family. Emotions shape our behaviour and determine whether we are sad/mad or glad. They have the ability to guide you on the most important decisions in life so there is an economy attached to our emotions.

The star quality within Leadership is that key ability to read the signals and understand your own emotional intelligence and of others.

If emotional intelligence is the star quality and the part of leadership that makes us real what is it.

The rational brain your prefrontal communicates constantly with your emotional centre the limbic, helping you to form judgements and make choices. If you imagine this is like a broadband connection between the two centres and it is critical for the development of your emotional intelligence. If you imagine we have an experience (prefrontal) passes (limbic) to give you an emotion the two connect regularly and you learn from the emotions you have used in the past. You effectively accumulate emotional capital (experiences that have either made you sad/mad or glad).

Martyn Newman describes New Leaders as Emotional Capitalists which is the name of his book. Daniel Goleman first brought emotional intelligence to the business world in 1997, however Newman’s book gives it the commerciality that was sometimes lacking in the work of Goleman. By understanding your emotional intelligence it will help in all areas of your business not just your own personality, it will link to revenue and sales.

To find your star quality in leadership, simply book onto one of our workshops:-

Developing Emotional Intelligence
Date:- Thursday 29th April 2021
Time:- 10.00am (90 minutes)
Cost:- £40 per person per workshop
To book a place, please email bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk
All the details of the workshops are in the brochure just hit the link below:-
https://lnkd.in/dFHyR57

Posted in Bite size learning, Decision Making, Leadership, motivation, personal impact

nuggets – Start with Why?

Simon Sinek’s TED talk, asks us to look at our businesses and Start with why? Why do you do what you do? People will do business with you because of why you do it not because of what you do.

Why do you get out of your bed in the morning. I love my business and understanding why I do what I do is the easy part.

The test is the “celery test” do you do your Why everyday. Sinek says that if you want to start eating healthily then celery must be in your shopping trolley. So if you have the clarity of Why do you put it to the test everyday. The Why is made up of a contribution and an impact. At nuggets the Why is “Helping people to think and work differently (the contribution) so that they can enjoy their best life (impact). The celery test is making sure that I do this everyday.

The discipline of How is often that unique thing that your business does that sets you apart from your competitors. Mine is colourful learning, the most comments I get from delegates is the colourful materials and often the colourful clothing of “me”. The discipline which sounds an odd word to use, is all about the continuity. When I am tired and think do I need a flip chart or heaven forbid I decide to just wear black, that is when I am not being true to the How?

What we do? the really dull part and in a nutshell either your job title or the transactional side of the business. However successful businesses ensure that the What is consistent. So the processes and practises in place mean that any interaction with your business does look and feel the same. If you attend a coaching session with nuggets does it feel the same as a workshop.

Start with Why? is all about finding not creating. Your why is deep routed within you and is totally intrinsic to who you are.

It is harder to find the Why in larger organisations, however certainly not impossible and so good for teams. The Why gives you followers and motivates, inspires and meaning to their day to day jobs. In his workbook Finding your Why, Sinek says you can have several Whys within an organisation, described as nesting. Different departments have their own nests and there is an accumulation however somehow they all factor into the main contributions and impact of the company.

As an individual take time to think about Why you are getting out of bed. Start by thinking of verbs (doing words) something that is the contribution:-

  • Thinking
  • Provoking
  • Building
  • Learning
  • Sharing

Then think about what the impact of that contribution has on people you come into contact with throughout the day. This will be the celery test as to whether you are making difference and whether you really feel your Why?

We are running an open workshop over Zoom on Thursday 29th April at 10.00am GMT – Developing Emotional Intelligence the cost is £40 per delegate. Please do get in touch if you wish to secure a place by emailing bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in Bite size learning, Emotional Intelligence, Goals, motivation, personal impact, Relationships

Developing you…

What shadow do you cast…? 

What memory do you want everyone to have of you? What do you leave in the room when you leave.  Be happy with the shadow that you cast and the memory that lingers in people’s minds. 

Brands pass from generation to generation with lasting memories.  Companies work hard to protect the image and ensure that the product and service is consistent.  As individuals we need to make the same investment in developing our own personal brand. When was the last time you booked a workshop for yourself, just about developing you.

We have an impact on everyone we meet and we are choosing how that is deployed. 

“About two years ago I realised I was no longer a person but a brand” Martha Stewart 

One of the first steps is to understand the key elements of emotional intelligence, from Daniel Goleman studies they can be broken into 5 key areas:-

  • Self Awareness
  • Self Management 
  • Social Awareness 
  • Motivation
  • Relationship Management 

From those areas you can then:-

  • Develop self confidence by practising assertive tools
  • Read the signals of non verbal and verbal behaviour
  • Create a frame of reference around your own personal brand 
  • Developing influencing skills
  • Managing relationships effectively 

This will give you:-

  • An awareness of your own inner signals and be able to manage your own emotions
  • Accurate self awareness on your limitations and strengths
  • Self confidence that is a authentic 
  • Able to create comfortable situations by using empathy 
  • Share your motivation with others and creating a personal brand
  • Meaningful connections 

We are delighted and excited to be launching our open workshops Developing You – There are 5 modules

  1. Developing Emotional Intelligence 
  2. Assertive Behaviour
  3. Communication Toolkit
  4. Personal Branding
  5. Influencing Skills 

You can attend the modules as a stand alone workshop or you can attend all 5 as a series, the first one is:-

Developing Emotional Intelligence
Date:- Thursday 29th April 2021
Time:- 10.00am (90 minutes)
Cost:- £40 per person per workshop
To book a place, please email bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk
All the details of the workshops are in the brochure just hit the link below:-
https://lnkd.in/dFHyR57

Please get in touch and explore “what shadow do you cast…?”

Posted in Bite size learning, Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, personal impact, Relationships

Networking in the remote world…

Last week I was asked to discuss the difference between networking face to face and the shift to the remote world.

I always have standard features and, using the word “Welcome” harks back to my days at Disney. The word is a smile within itself and as a host it is so important to make everyone feel welcome as soon as possible. To foster warmth instantly over a screen you have to use the right tonality as well as the right words. I attended a webinar recently where the host was very shouty and I felt intimidated even sitting in my own home.

Try and be original with introductions, just as we hated the round the table we also hate round the screens. Ask people to hold up pictures or give a word to describe how they feel at that moment, who is their favourite actor or actress…be adventurous!

Decide whether to have a waiting room or no waiting room. The benefit of not having one is that you can host some small talk before the event begins. The formality of a slide or holding screen can be appropriate, or it might create a barrier.

Engaging with people is about staying on screen, so minimise your slide deck and use break out rooms as when necessary.

Your own background rather than a beach in Miami, exposing your home makes you authentic. Everyone loves to see a dog or child in the background, its “real” and all an extension of you.

Networking is relationship building, it is not about attending to be seen on screen, it is about getting to know each other and if you set up appropriately and warmly it can happen very easily.

Please do get in touch bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Please visit our website http://www.nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in Bite size learning, mindfulness, motivation, personal impact, Time management

Time to focus on time…

Time is a non spatial continuum, so what are we focusing on…

We can build a relationship with it by asking some key questions to ensure we are maximising our use of it.

  • What did you do with the last hour yesterday?
  • How do you feel about it today?
  • If you had more of it, what would you do with it?

Think about your answers, most of us waste our last hour of the day and the second question normally challenges everyone. How do I feel about time, do I treasure it, do I have any feelings around it? Start to care about time and have feelings around it, guarantees you will make better decisions if you care. We all wish for more time, however unless you write down some goals that you want to achieve will you know what you are going to do with more time. Goals will be accomplished if they are written down and you will find the time.

We have peaks and troughs throughout the day and if you identify your “Prime” time you can ensure that is the time you get your best work done. It has been proven that there is an hour that is best for you. Protect it and ensure that is the time you get your work done that needs the most concentration.

Dan Pink’s book When looks at the science behind time, he explains that there are three phases throughout the day peak/trough and recovery. Analytical and detailed work is best tackled in the morning at the Peak and then when you hit the Trough you should work on procedural/administrative jobs that require little thought. Late afternoon we hit a creative period where we can brain storm and have some of our best abstract thinking this is late afternoon/evening, known as our Recovery time.

To have a better relationship with time, see it as a skill that you need to work on and a behavioural shift you are making a conscious effort to focus on. Try new planners, to-do lists and see how each new system feels until you hit a ritual or pattern that works for you. Extra time cannot be purchased but greater focus and clarity on what you are doing with it can help you achieve better results.

Here are some key nuggets around time:-

  • Identify when is your prime time is during the day
  • Devise new working patterns to include breaks
  • Write down what you are going to achieve each day
  • At the end of the day acknowledge your achievements
  • Get your most important task done first thing – don’t over think
  • Prioritise your to-do list
  • Decide whether a task is important or urgent
  • Try new planning tools and techniques
  • Create a space for productivity – put your phone out of sight
  • Clear your work space – focus on what you need to focus on
  • Don’t overwork and waste time “good is good enough”

Please do get in touch for a 90 minute workshop on Time Management bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

http://www.nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in Bite size learning, motivation, personal impact, Relationships

“How to get the best out of Appraisals…?”

Appraisals can’t just be an end of year exercise, performance development is continuous throughout the year. However they serve as a marker and a time for an employee to shine and a time for a Manager to show appreciation and gratitude for work during the year.

A key to the success of the meeting is about building a relationship, finding common ground and developing rapport. Making the team member feel comfortable and using the knowledge you already have to create a warm atmosphere where the discussion can be open and developmental.

The conversation is central to a good appraisal, it is not about being led by the paperwork. Asking the right questions and listening to the answers without interrupting and remembering whose agenda the meeting belongs to. Keep in mind the 80:20 rule, and use techniques to keep the person talking, this is their appraisal not yours as a Manager.

Limit the paperwork, you only really need one form at the most. The employee to complete something before the meeting to give structure. The Manager to make notes during the conversation, however not to fill in the form as this will definitely break the magic.

“Show Off” as an employee this is your time to shine. Bring examples of work that you are proud of and time where you worked well with team members. Owning your own self development and knowing where you want to go with your career.

Feedback is vital from both parties. Acknowledging what has gone well and acknowledging projects that could have been tackled differently. Good idea to use a framework whether it be positive or constructive, look at the elements you want to talk about. We call it an SBI:-

Situation – what happened and when?

Behaviour – how did you respond and react?

Impact – was it positive or could you have done it differently?

The appraisal is not just about the years performance you can also talk about career development. The future is incredibly inspiring and it would be limiting to just talk about where the employee was now. Hopes and dreams are in the future.

The appraisal is a motivational exercise and the employee should leave on a high with a clear idea of where their future is heading.

Please do get in touch if you would like a workshop on “How to get the best out of Appraisals…?” bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in Bite size learning, Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, personal impact, Relationships

How to never eat alone…?

Keith Ferrazzi wrote the book “Never eat alone” back in 2005 it laid out the steps and the inner mindset he uses to reach out to colleagues, friends and the thousands of people who have helped him. Originally the books was going to be called “You can’t get there alone”

Ferrazzi was the son of a steelworker and a cleaner who wanted him to have the best start. He was able to advance to Yale, Harvard and several top executive posts. The most remarkable part of his achievements was the network he created from Washington to Hollywood.

His form of connecting was based on the generosity of helping friends connect with other friends. He distinguishes this as genuine relationship building not the crude glad-handing associated with networking.

These are just some of his thoughts and tips:-

  • No-one can achieve their goals without others
  • To build relationships over a lifetime – you will need intimacy, generosity, candour and accountability.
  • You can’t get very far alone.
  • Treat your life as one big event, relationship building (not networking)
  • Give before you receive
  • Follow up quickly within 12 or 24 hours of that initial meeting
  • Be you
  • Be of service – “how can I help you…?”

The book is divided into four sections which give you a great compass as to how to get to the level of relationship building of Ferrazzi.

  • The mind-set
  • The skill-set
  • Turning connections into compatriots
  • Trading up and giving back

To understand more about the book, please do come to the nuggets book club this week, for more details please get in touch bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in coaching, Emotional Intelligence, mindfulness, personal impact, Relationships, Stress management

Speaking to yourself as you would to a friend…

I recently reviewed the book “The Kindness Method” by Shahroo Izadi who explains how harsh we are on ourselves. She says you would not be that fierce with a friend so why are we with ourselves. This morning I came across this story which completely reinforces her theory.

In his book, Feeling Great, Dr. David Burns recounts a conversation with a carpenter, Frank, who was painting his house. One day, upon returning home, Dr. Burns noticed a change in Frank’s usually sunny disposition and asked if he was feeling alright.

“I’m getting old,” he confessed, fighting back tears. “My body won’t be able to keep up the same pace for much longer. I’m worried that I might not have enough money to support my wife and me when I retire. “I’ve never accomplished anything meaningful or significant in my life.”

Feeling bad for Frank, Dr. Burns asked if he could try something helpful called the double standard technique.

Here’s how he describes it,

“When we’re upset or fall short of our goals, we tend to beat up on ourselves with harsh criticisms. But if we were talking to a dear friend with the same exact problem, we’d do so in a far more compassionate, supportive, and realistic way. Once you’re aware of this, you can ask yourself if you’d be willing to talk to yourself in the same compassionate way you’d talk to a dear friend.”

After asking what he would say to a friend in his position, Frank replied that he would remind that friend that he and his wife would have a decent retirement and be fine even if he decided to retire someday. Moreover, he would assure his friend that he had never once received a complaint about his work, not even once, nor had he ever cheated anyone—and that’s as meaningful as it is significant.

Much to Frank’s surprise, his sadness wasn’t caused by his age, nor his fear of financial hardship come retirement, but rather, his negative thoughts.

The story resonates for the times we are in at the moment we all need to be kind to each other and give more feedback than usual. We need to give authentic praise that has true value within it. Say what the person has done well, but substantiate with evidence and make it specific to that individual. Most importantly try giving yourself some value based praise, we all need a boost.

Please do get in touch with nuggets for a short workshop or coaching by contacting bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk