Posted in Bite size learning, Emotional Intelligence, personal impact, Relationships

Getting your message across…

Knowing when to communicate and how to get a message across effectively is a skill in the digital age that we now live in. To cement relationships we need to steer away from the easy option.

The communication needs to be valid and memorable. Therefore we need to plan and prepare as we would with other forms of work.

The story below highlights the need for communication to be personable:-

A man and his wife had been arguing all night, and as bedtime approached neither was speaking to the other. It was not unusual for the pair to continue this war of silence for two or three days, however, on this occasion the man was concerned; he needed to be awake at 4:30am the next morning to catch an important flight, and being a very heavy sleeper he normally relied on his wife to wake him. Cleverly, so he thought, while his wife was in the bathroom, he wrote on a piece of paper: ‘Please wake me at 4:30am – I have an important flight to catch’. He put the note on his wife’s pillow, then turned over and went to sleep.
The man awoke the next morning and looked at the clock. It was 8:00am. Enraged that he’d missed his flight, he was about to go in search of his errant wife to give her a piece of his mind, when he spotted a hand-written note on his bedside cabinet.
The note said: ‘It’s 4:30am – get up.’

Think how often you communicate with people during the day.  You write emails, create reports, prepare presentations, debate with your colleagues and chair meetings.  We spend an entire day communicating. To provide clear messages and ensure they are received use the 7 C’s as a checklist:-

  1. Clear – ensure you have included all the relevant information
  2. Concise – stick to the point
  3. Concrete – does your message land – does it convey passion
  4. Correct – no spoilers, good messages can be ruined by grammatical errors
  5. Coherent – logical flow
  6. Complete – call to action, what is next…?
  7. Courteous – friendly, open and honest

Please do contact nuggets for a Communication Toolkit workshop www.nuggetsoflearning.co.uk 

Posted in Bite size learning, coaching, Emotional Intelligence, personal impact, Relationships

Developing emotional intelligence…

What we achieve is a marker of success, however how you conducted the business will stay in the memory a lot longer. Whether you gain repeat work is often decided on whether the interaction was pleasant. Retention of teams is down to how well a leader deploys their emotional intelligence and whether you want to continue working with them.

The good news is that we can work on your emotional intelligence and make it relevant and practical. If you use the five concepts from Daniel Goleman’s research:-

  • Self Awareness
  • Self Motivation
  • Self Management
  • Social Awareness
  • Relationship Management

1. Self Awareness – “What shadow do you cast?”

What memory do you leave in peoples minds, do you cast a really good impression of who you are. Is every interaction with you consistent and therefore when people meet who have met you in other separate situations they have the same view.

2. Self Motivation – “What gets you out of bed?”

The drive to push you forward comes from within, you don’t need a line manager, telling you the way. Clear goals and a future plan, always self directed.

3. Self Management – “When to react and when not to?”

Managing your hot buttons and being emotional when appropriate and being aware of slippage of inappropriate outbursts.
4. Social Awareness – “What signals are you picking up?”

Being emotionally astute you will know when some-one wants to talk and when they don’t. Getting really skilled at “reading the signals”. People often indicate they want to connect with you through their body language and not verbally, so you need to be aware of all the indicators.

5. Relationship Management – “What frequency are they on?”

Understanding some-one else takes a relationship to another level and this happens when you use empathy. Stephen Covey describes this as “Seek first to understand before being understood”.

We can measure our emotional intelligence by simply giving yourself a score out of 10 each week in each of the five areas.   You will know where to develop and breaking them down you can accept slippage and learn from it.

To demystify emotional intelligence attend a workshop with nuggets and take a look at our website for how we work with companies www.nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, personal impact, Relationships

Exposure of you…

I am not talking a streak through the office, there are other ways to get yourself noticed.

Studies show that we need to fit into the environment we work in, so the more you do within that space the more your face will fit.

Harvey Coleman studied the reasons why people get promotion and how in general individuals can feel empowered.  The results were set into three categories:-

  • Performance
  • Image
  • Exposure

If you perform exceptionally well at your job, you cultivate a great image and you are known by all the right people you will be successful.

Exposure or visibility equated to 60% of the success factor to getting promotion, so what they know about you before has the greatest impact.

Image follows on 30% and performance brings up the rear at 10%.  Obviously if you got the promotion and could not do the job you would ultimately be caught out.

In the meantime how can we make exposure practical:-

  • Take on more responsibility within your role
  • Volunteer for internal projects
  • Get involved in community projects
  • Participate in company sponsored activities
  • Visibly demonstrate a team player attitude
  • Be willing to learn new skills and experience different situations
  • Attend social events organised by the office
  • Be a fire marshal/first aider
  • Put yourself forward as team representative

So before you take off any clothes, have a look at the list above and take a more practical step to working your exposure.  Ensure you remain true to who you are and your values and most importantly be authentic.

For a worksop on empowering yourself please contact bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

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Posted in coaching, Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, Relationships

Evoke Transformation

Working as a coach you can get right to the end of the session before you get to that transformational moment.

When you start on a journey with a client you want to get to that point where you evoke transformation.  The client recognises a new way of seeing a situation their thinking changes and they can see a new response.

We get trapped in our daily rituals and don’t often have fresh eyes on changing our routine.  A coach challenges your thinking and gets you to change the status quo.

As a coach you must always trust that your client is naturally creative, resourceful and whole as a person.  They always have the answers you ask the questions to unlock their thoughts to evoke change.

The agenda belongs to the client and you follow as the trusted guide.  You are responsible in this role, and challenge only where appropriate.

The coach must ensure accountability around any change, you want to see progression so therefore actions must be held to account.

Acknowledging progress and championing the clients achievements is essential for motivation and relationship building.

The coach is responsible for articulating the thoughts of their client and constantly reflecting using their words where their journey is taking them.

As a client and a coach to evoke transformation is very uplifting.

Please do get in touch for 1:1 coaching bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

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Posted in coaching, Leadership, personal impact, Relationships

What Vs How

 

We can all work hard at what we have to get done and often just review what we have achieved.  How we went about the task or challenge can be more revealing about the overall performance.

It is the same balance between being and doing, which we often use as language in coaching to explain to a client where they might be.  The world demands that we constantly keep producing and that means “doing” getting stuff done.  Generating 100s of emails shows  that you are working on the “what” and the “doing”.

The “being” side is “how” we went about the work and how we want to be remembered.  The value of who we are as a person is all about how we work.

To focus more on how, carry out the following:-

  • Self review on projects
  • Seek feedback from others – on projects – meetings
  • Review yourself daily/weekly/monthly
  • As a team conduct wash-up meeting

How will last in the memory longer than What.

For a workshop on making the “How” matter please do contact bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in coaching, mindfulness, personal impact, Relationships

Currency of thank you

We exchange “thank you” on a daily basis in various forms.  The currency of thank you is ever increasing and the value is never diminished.

The most obvious is the words being said out loud, nothing greater and better.

In your car might be a flash of your lights, acknowledged and welcomed as a great exchange.

Text messages use emojis as the currency of thank you, humorous and quick.

The old fashioned handwritten note involves time and effort however the personalisation is of huge value.

Within UK culture we often say thank you when in actual fact we have not even received any trade.  It is part of our language and therefore is currency of friendship and business.

Take time to do a thank you really well, make it specific to the individual and go even further to explain the value.  If you think of a monetary trade there would always be a cost think the same way with your thank you.  What are you grateful for and how is making a difference…?

Enjoy every exchange this week…and thank you so much to all my readers it is fantastic to receive feedback and encouragement.

Please do contact us bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

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Posted in Leadership, mindfulness, personal impact, Relationships

Dishonest friendship…

 

Connecting with your friends and seeing their updates seems fabulous what could be nicer.  Smiling faces and shots of lovely exotic holidays and so many plates of delicious food.  In between the fabulous holiday snaps are some random posts of very harrowing stories and charities asking for money.

This is not a genuine or honest connection with your friends.  It is a rather odd snapshot into their lives.  It is almost like a celebrity in the press, it tells you nothing.

Authenticity is what is needed to build relationships and can only be achieved by the physicality of meeting up and being there.

There is often a competitiveness with the posts and an element of showing off.  This is not true friendship where you connect on a level and have a meaningful dialogue.

Therefore how can you make it work for you and glean the positive messages and filter out the noise.

There is humour and elements of genuine connection the more specific the post, the more meaning it may contain.

However will your children thank you in years to come for sharing their achievements Some once said to me “You will never find anyone who loves your children as much as you”, therefore I decided a long time ago not to share.

Is it possible to promote a business on these sites and share your products and services.  The more visual the business – then it is ideal.  Selling furniture and receiving likes for your images would be brilliant. This could be an honest and straightforward business relationship and therefore a true connection.

When you enter these sites be in a positive frame of mind yourself and think it is like flicking through a magazine and at its best a mere snapshot into the lives of your friends.

Use the posts as a platform to have a meaningful connection.

 

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