Posted in Bite size learning, Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, motivation, Relationships

Self motivation…

The force that drives you to get stuff done… The definition sounds easy enough however to get the drive and the force to keep going is hard.

We have all had to self motivate, we don’t even have the discipline of a commute the deadline of travel.

Self motivation is the driver but you need the passenger of self discipline sitting alongside and encouraging you with a rigour and a structure.

Motivation is intrinsic and extrinsic and we need both working together to push us forward. Intrinsic comes from within us as to what we want to achieve and is the most fulfilling as we have set our own targets. Extrinsic is the external rewards, such as money and status.

A key component of emotional intelligence is self motivation, knowing what gets you out of bed in the morning. Daniel Goleman the author of numerous books on the subject says it has four components:-

  1. Achievement
  2. Commitment to your goals
  3. Initiative to seek out new opportunities
  4. Optimism that you will achieve

We are more likely to be motivated if we have set our own personal standards, we can follow other peoples standards however the motivation level will be low.

Scott Geller, psychologist says ask yourself three questions:-

  1. Can you do it?
  2. Will it work?
  3. Is it worth it?

The first question asks for self efficacy (your belief in capacity to execute behaviors necessary to produce specific performance attainments).

The second question is your ability to way up the consequences, positive and negative and still not be deterred.

The final question weighs up everything, achievement, effort, consequences and result.

Geller also says you can evaluate against the 4 C’s:-

  • Consequences
  • Competence
  • Choice (level of autonomy)
  • Commuity (support from others)

So in order to be self motivated we need to set our own personal standards and be able to evaluate ourselves. To gain deep fulfilment we need to evoke passion find the drive within ourselves and not wait for others to give it to us.

The skills needed to self motivate:-

  1. Set personal goals and targets
  2. Introduce an element of risk – put the goals at stretch so you grow
  3. Seek feedback so that you improve
  4. Be committed to them – be disciplined
  5. Seek out new opportunities
  6. Manage setbacks and obstacles – do not get demotivated for long

The next step is to maintain your self motivation which can be the hardest part of the change you wish to make. Ironically today I watch the TED Talk on “Master Procrastinator” before writing a blog on self motivation.

Maintaining self motivation:-

  1. Continuous learning
  2. Surround yourself with motivated and supportive people
  3. Positive mindset and a growth mindset
  4. Harness your strengths
  5. Beat the procrastination
  6. Ask for help when you need it

Working from home has pushed us into self motivation at a deeper level and employers have trusted us far more than ever before. To continue to have the flexibility of working from home we will now have to share our personal standards on self motivation and self discipline.

There is no time like the present to talk with your line manager about the structuring of your day and the future goals you wish to attain.

Please do get in touch for a workshop on self motivation bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in Bite size learning, Change management, coaching, Decision Making, Goals, Leadership, Relationships, Time management

Getting the best out of working from home…

We strive to be effective and efficient and we have to create our own routine.

Initially we went racing into the lockdown, it was powered up productivity, we did not know we would still be working from home, three months later. Some of us have now burned out and don’t have the initial excitement and enthusiasm of being at home.

Just as you change gear in your car to alter your performance, we are now at that stage as people we need a boost a new gear change.

Start the week with a plan of what you are doing and ensure that you break it into a daily task list of what can be achieved. Having a rolling to do list for the week is not as motivational as looking at what you have done each day. Ensure that you review at the end of the day what you have completed and even add to the list of tasks the things you have completed that weren’t on the list. Highlighting or ticking them as complete seems childish however the acknowledgement of your achievements and the reflection of how you spent your time is all good inputs for the list for the next day.

There is no escape to see colleagues and a chance to loiter in the kitchen. We need breaks and working from home you need to book them in. Sadly they are not as spontaneous as at an office, but if you have other people in your home, schedule a coffee and meet up with them. Most importantly have a change of scene move away from desk and if possible take the break in another room.

For some having no set hours is scary, managing the day, week and the whole calendar seems to big and endless. We need to start thinking like a leader who operate from a framework of freedom. Leadership thinking is having a clear purpose or vision that every thing you do everyday factors into that vision and overall purpose as to who you are. This umbrella view of everything then gives you an idea of what needs to completed each quarter/monthly and then at a micro level daily. Ideally having on display your purpose can be motivational and a guide as to whether you are on track.

nuggets overall vision is to “Help people think and work differently…” do I do something everyday to make that happen.

We have had to fit life into work as never seen before, parents home schooling and attending zoom meetings. Dogs being walked, houses cleaned and endless meals being prepared. We have to treat life with as much importance as work, you need to plan it and schedule it. You must not squeeze life in around work. Map out when is a good time to walk the dog or to exercise yourself, ensure it is in the diary everyday. Plan and write up your meals, so the thinking and uncertainty of what to eat does not fill your head. Your hours don’t have to be as they were and they don’t have to be the same everyday, however for your own mental health know when you start the day and when you are going to stop the day.

Accountability has to be robust, more evidence to justify what you have achieved, therefore have we slipped into a more results driven culture. The balance of how much you are trusted and the measurement of your performance from a far. If you are more trusted is the performance more guaranteed. We cannot rely on our Leaders to simply trust us we have to communicate with them regularly to ensure they do trust us. Trust underpins any relationship we have and it is built on a foundation of knowledge of the other person. Remember the name of some-ones dog on a Zoom call could be a motivational gift and that simple insight could increase productivity.

Working from home is what we make it and what choices we make around how to set it up and it is now the time to review:-

  • What has gone well? – you have enjoyed?
  • What has not been so good?
  • What can you do differently?

Please do get in touch for a workshop on “Making the most of working from home…”

bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in Bite size learning, coaching, Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, Management, motivation, Problem solving, Relationships

Having a Zoom one to one …

Working with Clients at the moment I get asked how to make one to ones as effective as possible now they are over Zoom.

  • Do I need to have them more often?
  • Can I do them over the phone instead of Zoom?
  • Do I prepare the agenda?
  • Do I need to give a summary?

With most people working from home, one to ones need to be more often. You possibly followed a best practice guideline of one hour once a month, however in this climate, fortnightly will be better with a timing of 30 minutes.

Zoom is a great tool for one to ones as the intensity of just two faces does give you a clear insight as to how the person is feeling. They might well convey some leakage in their body language which you would not spot on the phone. However with Zoom fatigue being the current buzz phrase it is perfectly understandable that many may have had enough of the video conferencing. As a leader suggest a combination of one by phone and one by Zoom.

The one to one session should always belong to your team member so therefore it is their agenda. However it is good to provide a template that gives them an idea of what to prepare. Currently we will have items in there that would not normally have been in there before, such as well being of working from home. The template can be really simple with some headings as below:-

  • Current workload
  • Up and coming projects
  • Well being of working from home
  • Achievements and wins

It can even be as simple as Past/Present/Future, the most important thing is that they steer the meeting and that they come prepared.

Your job is to summarise what was covered, in simple bullet points, so that you can track their performance. You also have shown that you have listened and demonstrated support.

As a leader don’t committ any of the following common mistakes:-

  • Cancelling the one to one
  • Allowing interruptions
  • Setting the agenda and owning the one to one
  • Doing most of the talking
  • Taking the problem away from some-one
  • Not inquiring about feelings
  • Delivering unclear messages, unclear coaching and unclear instructions
  • Running out of time
  • Assuming your one to ones are effective

Embrace getting to know your team better and Zoom is a great for intensity, intimacy and confidentiality. During this time you can get to know your team really well.

Please do get in touch if you would like one to one coaching with nuggets bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in Bite size learning, Leadership, Learning, motivation, personal impact, Relationships, training

The nuggets book club

When lockdown started, I decided to run a book club every Friday for FREE to share my favourite business books and why they make a difference. Every book I selected had a relevance to the period we were in.

To be true to my nuggets style I wanted the sessions to be interactive which is no mean feat on Zoom. I would start each session with some exercise that had a connection to the topic or book and would make everyone relax and laugh.

The sessions were only 30 minutes as I was conscious to peak interest in the book and leave attendees wanting more from nuggets or a desire to read the book.

My summary was structured around the book framework eg. using chapter headings to say what each part of the book was covering. They were very comprehensive so no attendee felt isolated if they had not read the book or even heard of the author.

Before each event I would explain in a few lines what the book was about and if possible direct them to TED talk by the author.

After the summary was delivered I would ask three questions to understand from attendees how some of the content had resonated. We always had amazing responses and very honest and open at some situations which must have been very personal.

In true nuggets style we finished with the key nuggets as takeaways as to what the book meant from a practical perspective.

The books we covered are listed below:-

  • Who Moved My Cheese by Dr Spencer Johnson – understanding change and our responses
  • When by Dan Pink – understanding the science behind time
  • Mindset by Carol S Dweck – determining whether you have a fixed or growth mindset
  • Start With Why by Simon Sinek – your overall purpose “not what you do its Why you do it”
  • Atomic Habits by James Clear – creating habits and rituals that are sustainable
  • The Present by Dr Spencer Johnson – Learning from the past and looking to the future and enjoying the Present
  • Black Box Thinking by Matthew Syed – Understanding how much that can be learnt from failure
  • Daring Greatly by Brene Brown – Vulnerability is not weakness
  • Six Thinking Hats by Edward de Bono – providing a framework for your thinking in group and individual situations that will save you time

Please do get in touch if you would like any of the book summaries delivered to your team. The session is 30 minutes with no cap on attendees and the cost is £100 per session or £150 for two.

Please do get in touch to find out more bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in Bite size learning, coaching, Decision Making, Emotional Intelligence, mindfulness, personal impact, Relationships

Vulnerability is not a weakness…

Vulnerability fuels our daily lives, it is the one thing that can measure how courageous we are. In order to talk about vulnerability we have to have the conversation about “Shame”.

Dr Brene Brown the author of Daring Greatly says that Shame was the one that brought you to the party and goes hand in hand with vulnerability. Shame is the focus on ourselves which is not the same as Guilt which is a focus on our behaviour. The Gremlin or the voice inside all of us “You are not enough” is the Shame voice – The Gremlin. Shame grows at a rapid rate if you are silent, secretive or judgmental. The survival package for Shame is empathy, the less you talk about Shame the more you have it.

Examples of Shame:-

  • Shame is shouting at my children
  • Shame is being made redundant
  • Shame is being called out by my Manager in front of a Client

To get back to each other and be connected we have to embrace each others vulnerabilities and share them. If we put ourselves in a position of vulnerability we put ourselves into the arena of life and we are seen by others. We have to believe we are enough as it starts with ourselves first and then we start listening to others.

From Dr Brown’s research there emerged a theme that people who have a deep sense of worthiness or in her words our whole hearted embrace their vulnerability. They are not necessarily comfortable with it, however they see it as necessary.

There are three main themes that a whole hearted person has:-

  1. Courage – to be imperfect
  2. Compassion – kind to self first and then to others
  3. Connection – As a result of authenticity

In summary you have to be seen and love with all your heart, practice gratitude and joy and believe that you are enough.

Put yourself out there and Dare Greatly…

Please do attend the nuggets book club on Friday where will be reviewing Daring Greatly by Brene Brown. Please send me an email bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in Bite size learning, Change management, Leadership, personal impact, Relationships

Coming out of Lockdown…

I am not alone in feeling slightly overwhelmed with working out the conundrum of how we ease out of lockdown.

We can only focus on the things we can influence which helps ease the pressure in your mind and makes you feel calmer.  Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People explains the difference of proactive and reactive thinking.  If you draw two circles one labelled Circle of Concern and Circle of Influence, when you have filled the Circle of Concern focus on the items within that circle that you can influence, these are items you can personally action.  If you cannot, they are beyond your influence and you need to take them out of the circle and effectively take them out of your head.

Another resource that helps us focus on life after lockdown is the follow up to “Who moved my cheese…” a book called “Out of the maze…” both written by Spencer Johnson.

Rather appropriately there is a quote early on in the book from a character called Hope:-

“I don’t think things ever go back to how they were, here’s my thought though.  Maybe they can turn out better than they were” 

Beliefs we have of how we worked before lockdown might be holding us back, after all “A belief is a thought that you trust is true”.  Some of us believed we could never work from home.  The book encourages us to believe that some beliefs can lift you up.  Look at how well we have coped and what we have achieved already in lockdown.

You can change your mind, you can choose new beliefs, which is what we will have to do when our organisations explain how we will return to our offices.

Suggestions already are:-

  • Staggered working hours
  • No face to face meetings
  • No canteen
  • Working from home more

You are not held prisoner by a belief and remember you are the person who chooses your beliefs.  What would you do if you believed everything was possible.  There are no limits to what you can believe.  We often have to believe something is going to work before we can see it working.  It will be important for Leaders to work with them teams in creating a positive mindset and this will be reinforcing an existing strong culture or resetting the culture.

There will be so many unknowns that we have to let go of beliefs in the past which means losing old baggage and applying new thinking and an open mind.  We might get some initiatives wrong,  however if we all hold out on the belief that is possible we will all be more responsive to the change.

We need to find joy in exploring the impossible together and remember we are not changing who we are, because as we have a new belief or new thinking.   There is not a limit on what you can believe, can do, experience and above all enjoy.

Please do get in touch for coaching over Zoom, virtual workshops or look out for our nuggets bookclub.  We are very much still here to support individuals and business “To help people think and work differently…” bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk 

Posted in Bite size learning, Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, mindfulness, motivation, personal impact, Relationships

Start with Why…?

The title of Simon Sinek’s bestselling book first published in 2009.  It is coming up to its 10th Anniversary and Sinek is running a live book club every Friday for people to ask questions around the content.  As it is the 10th anniversary he is also going to update the book.

Start with why seems very real and pertinent when we are all in lock down.  We have time to answer a lot of Whys?

  • Why do we do the job we do?
  • Why did we do that long commute day after day?
  • Why is working from home such challenge?

The emphasis of the book is not what you do or how you do it but why you do it?

The why is within all of us we just need to find it.

At this time when we are worried about the stability of our mental health we need to look at how the brain works in conjunction with our Why?

What we do is a neocortex function, practical and easy to understand, you do what you do without much challenge or feeling.  How you do things and why you do them is connected to our limbic brain where all our emotional responses come from.

Think about your line manager do you believe what he or she believes? Do you work together because of what you do or is it because of why you do it.

Please take a look at the Why questions if you are working and if you are not working and you have been furloughed still take time to answer the questions:-

  • Why does your company exist?
  • Why do you get out of bed in the morning?
  • Why should anyone care?

Why is your purpose whether it be a company or an individual.  At the moment people our getting out of bed to home school or they might be providing a service for their company (do they know why it matters).

Please do join me this Friday for nuggets business book review club where we will be discussing “Start with Why” by Simon Sinek

You are invited to a Zoom meeting.
When: Apr 24, 2020 10:00 AM London

Register in advance for this meeting:
https://zoom.us/meeting/register/tJIrcOygpjsvGtNJgr81klMybc3VxM5CwqPL

There is no need to have read the book and as a refresher or those that our new to the concept have a look at his original TED talk https://www.ted.com/talks/simon_sinek_how_great_leaders_inspire_action?language=en

 

 

 

 

Posted in Bite size learning, Change management, coaching, Decision Making, Emotional Intelligence, mindfulness, personal impact, Relationships, Stress management

Focus on what you can control…

We can easily overwhelm ourselves by thinking what we can solve.  There is currently so much to think about, we must break it down and work out what is within our control.

Stephen Covey in his book the “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” uses the Circle of Concern and the Circle of Influence.  There are things we are concerned about and we need to work out whether we can influence them.  If we can do something eg. some form of influence it leaves your Circle of Concern.  It is like a mental in and out box.  What we have to be really careful of, is not letting things fester in a Circle of Concern that we cannot influence and thus making us feel mentally unstable.

My current examples:-

  • Currently I cannot see my Mum therefore I cannot spend everyday worrying about it, however I can see her every evening on House Party with my sisters. An example of a concern moved to influence.
  • I cannot come up with a vaccine for Covid 19 therefore I cannot let it sit in my Circle of Concern that needs to go outside my head into an area of No Concern.  I still care but if I can’t influence it will affect my mental well being.
  • My sons GCSE results are now outside mine or his influence so we have put them to one side in the areas of No Concern.

Amy Morin the author of “Insights from 13 things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do” says if we focus on what we can offer others we will stop:-

  • feeling sorry for ourselves
  • resenting other peoples success
  • feeling like we are owed something

Mentally strong people shift their focus to people in need, they look for ways to help others.  If we are busy doing good things we will stop focusing on a victim like mentality.

Within our own households we can focus on how we can make the time as pleasant as possible for them.  We can also reach out to our friends and family remotely still giving support.  In work we can adapt our services, reduce fees and be readily available.

She suggests getting a piece of paper and drawing a line down the middle.  Writing all the things above the line that you can’t control and below the line all the things you can control.  After you have finished the list, rip off the top of the paper and throw it away.

Even when you have your list of the things you can control, she says you must remember that people are a factor that you cannot completely control, so remember the following points:-

  • Stop dwelling on the past, a situation with a particular person
  • Stop wasting energy on the things you cannot control within that relationship
  • Stop giving people your power  (don’t let their opinions steer your direction)
  • Stop trying to please everyone

Uncertainty can be managed by focusing on what you can control.  Grab that piece of paper today whether you do the line down the middle or Covey’s circles, focus on what you have influence and control over.

Take care and stay safe and well, please do contact me at bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

 

Posted in Bite size learning, coaching, Emotional Intelligence, personal impact, Relationships

Learn to listen…

Julian Treasure’s TED talk is all about the quality of listening or the lack of it.

On average retention of listening is only 25%, as we make our own interpretation.  We make up patterns from the sound.  We also subconsciously apply filters as to what we want to listen to.

Treasure suggests we partake in a listening workout, train ourselves to pay attention:-

  1. Sit in silence for 3 minutes a day.
  2. Apply a mixer, how many channels can you hear, what are the different sounds around you.
  3. Savouring and enjoying some of the mundane sounds, the tumble dryer is a hidden choir that we don’t appreciate or truly listen to.
  4. Think about your positioning when you listen, are you being respectful to the person you are listening to.  Do you appear attentive and active in your physicality or are you too relaxed and therefore appear to only be passively listening.
  5. He says we should apply the following formula:-
      • Receive
      • Appreciate
      • Summarise
      • Ask

Treasure says “we live to listen, listening is the gateway to understanding”

Listening is a skill like any other and we need to practise and develop continuously.

Please do get in touch for a workshop on communication skills bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk 

Posted in Bite size learning, coaching, Emotional Intelligence, mindfulness, Relationships, Stress management

Extra day…

Often on a Time Management workshop I will ask delegates what they would do with an extra hour.  The answer they most want to give is sleep, however once we have refused that as an option they become far more creative.

This year 2020 is a Leap Year so this Saturday 29th February we will get an extra day, therefore we have 366 days instead of 365 days, however will we make the most of this opportunity.

Very old fashioned concept was that this was the only day women could propose marriage, however as this can happen at anytime during the year, what can be unique about your extra day.

Values drive our behaviour so if we want it to really count think about what matters most in your world.  This may well start with the people that matter most in your life.  Don’t stop there, we could do what we always do with them or we could think what else do we value and what do we want to do with their time.

Identify core values and then think about what activity you can do on Saturday that connects with those.  Only select 3 from the list below, be realistic and think about who you want to be with (the list is limited so add your own ideas for core values):-

Achievement

Authenticity

Balance

Community

Change

Enthusiasm

Family

Happiness

Innovation

Kindness

Recognition

Wisdom

Examples of how values can lead to activities:-

  • Happiness – going back to somewhere that made you feel really happy
  • Wisdom – visiting something cultural and learning new facts
  • Change – meeting new people, going somewhere different

Have a great Saturday and let me know what you did with your extra day?

Please do get in touch for a workshop on any management or leadership topic bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk