Posted in Bite size learning, Emotional Intelligence, Goals, motivation, personal impact, Relationships

Developing you…

What shadow do you cast…? 

What memory do you want everyone to have of you? What do you leave in the room when you leave.  Be happy with the shadow that you cast and the memory that lingers in people’s minds. 

Brands pass from generation to generation with lasting memories.  Companies work hard to protect the image and ensure that the product and service is consistent.  As individuals we need to make the same investment in developing our own personal brand. When was the last time you booked a workshop for yourself, just about developing you.

We have an impact on everyone we meet and we are choosing how that is deployed. 

“About two years ago I realised I was no longer a person but a brand” Martha Stewart 

One of the first steps is to understand the key elements of emotional intelligence, from Daniel Goleman studies they can be broken into 5 key areas:-

  • Self Awareness
  • Self Management 
  • Social Awareness 
  • Motivation
  • Relationship Management 

From those areas you can then:-

  • Develop self confidence by practising assertive tools
  • Read the signals of non verbal and verbal behaviour
  • Create a frame of reference around your own personal brand 
  • Developing influencing skills
  • Managing relationships effectively 

This will give you:-

  • An awareness of your own inner signals and be able to manage your own emotions
  • Accurate self awareness on your limitations and strengths
  • Self confidence that is a authentic 
  • Able to create comfortable situations by using empathy 
  • Share your motivation with others and creating a personal brand
  • Meaningful connections 

We are delighted and excited to be launching our open workshops Developing You – There are 5 modules

  1. Developing Emotional Intelligence 
  2. Assertive Behaviour
  3. Communication Toolkit
  4. Personal Branding
  5. Influencing Skills 

You can attend the modules as a stand alone workshop or you can attend all 5 as a series, the first one is:-

Developing Emotional Intelligence
Date:- Thursday 29th April 2021
Time:- 10.00am (90 minutes)
Cost:- £40 per person per workshop
To book a place, please email bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk
All the details of the workshops are in the brochure just hit the link below:-
https://lnkd.in/dFHyR57

Please get in touch and explore “what shadow do you cast…?”

Posted in Bite size learning, coaching, Leadership, Management, Relationships

Do you have a User Manual…?

When you pick up your shiny new car, it has a user manual, you know where the gears and levers are. Every warning light is understood as the user manual gives helpful pictures. As team members do we provide a user manual to our line managers.

As an individual you want to give your best to the organisation, however you also want to ensure that they understand what you want and what you offer. These are the elements of the psychological contract you have entered with the company. They gave you a contract with the tangible items they wanted and offered, however what about everything that was unsaid by both parties. Did you really want fun at the office and what did that look like?

A user manual could be a tool that could tease out the information.

People have different responses to feedback, some love it and want bucketfuls others just want a thimble very seldom. Working environments can be really conducive to some if they are quiet and others crave a buzz of peripheral noise and activity.

This is a great time to work with your team members to understand their user manual. We have all been working remotely for so long have we created a working day that now works for us, which means we have not worked a traditional 9 to 5.

There is always the unknown gifts that we have not shared with our leaders, you may well have discovered new hidden talents during this lockdown. Unless we use a tool like the “User manual” will we ever uncover the stars.

Back to the car analogy, this is a really good time to assess where you are, consider this your MOT. Please do get in touch if you would like one to one coaching bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in Bite size learning, Change management, Decision Making, Leadership, motivation, Relationships

Experiential space…

With the schools going back today, people are beginning to contemplate a return to the office. Leaders need to ask the right questions and begin to think how they want to use their space.

We want team members to have an experience and engage with the place in a new way. Do you have to associate the place with sitting at a desk. Will it be a social hub, with facilities that you need to host drinks, buffets and any form of get together. This new area could be a conference facility, spaces bigger for social distancing and large rooms without desks.

Social areas in offices are nothing new, however the change will be leaders will actively encourage time spent in them. Table football, pool and darts chances for individuals from different departments who may not have seen each other for a whole year to meet up.

The fixed desk might be old fashioned and the need to reconnect might mean switching every month.

Flexible working has worked and must be a pattern that everyone has the choice to continue with. The core hours of 9.00am to 5.30pm will be altered with people arriving at lunchtime and working in the evening, likewise the breakfast club could be the liveliest time of the day it will all depend on your culture.

The space can be used for well being events, encourage everyone to down tools and meditate, practise yoga or do a full on cardiac workout (air fresheners at the ready)!!! Lunch and learn can be so much more fun than a PowerPoint presentation, get departments to create board games of what they do, treasure hunts, book summaries the more imaginative the better.

We have been starved of opportunities to collaborate and connect spontaneously, so make this happen in the new world. Coffee and connect throughout the day, and with a new mix of people. Encourage this by providing creative tools such as white boards, post-its and most importantly good coffee.

Before everyone returns look at your space with “fresh eyes”, what would make the area more attractive and inviting. Watch the old classic “9 to 5” film with Dolly Parton where they reinvent the office space. If this is what you are aiming for ask employees to bring in house plants, photos and encourage a home from home atmosphere.

Theme your meeting rooms around your product or service, making spaces fun and connecting with your brand.

The place to start preparing is for Leaders to ask the key questions now…:-

  • How do you want to use the space?
  • How do you want to engage with it?
  • What are the multiple purposes of this space?
  • What rituals can you set up to make as many experiences as possible…?
  • When do you want to visit?

What will be sad is if the opening of office is dictated by leadership without buy-in from team members. This is an exciting time to reconnect and for your business to operate like it never has before, don’t be led by numbers or safe guarding, create an experiential new space.

For more ideas or for nuggets to facilitate a new space ideas session please get in touch with bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk.

Posted in Bite size learning, Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, personal impact, Relationships

Networking in the remote world…

Last week I was asked to discuss the difference between networking face to face and the shift to the remote world.

I always have standard features and, using the word “Welcome” harks back to my days at Disney. The word is a smile within itself and as a host it is so important to make everyone feel welcome as soon as possible. To foster warmth instantly over a screen you have to use the right tonality as well as the right words. I attended a webinar recently where the host was very shouty and I felt intimidated even sitting in my own home.

Try and be original with introductions, just as we hated the round the table we also hate round the screens. Ask people to hold up pictures or give a word to describe how they feel at that moment, who is their favourite actor or actress…be adventurous!

Decide whether to have a waiting room or no waiting room. The benefit of not having one is that you can host some small talk before the event begins. The formality of a slide or holding screen can be appropriate, or it might create a barrier.

Engaging with people is about staying on screen, so minimise your slide deck and use break out rooms as when necessary.

Your own background rather than a beach in Miami, exposing your home makes you authentic. Everyone loves to see a dog or child in the background, its “real” and all an extension of you.

Networking is relationship building, it is not about attending to be seen on screen, it is about getting to know each other and if you set up appropriately and warmly it can happen very easily.

Please do get in touch bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Please visit our website http://www.nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in Bite size learning, motivation, personal impact, Relationships

“How to get the best out of Appraisals…?”

Appraisals can’t just be an end of year exercise, performance development is continuous throughout the year. However they serve as a marker and a time for an employee to shine and a time for a Manager to show appreciation and gratitude for work during the year.

A key to the success of the meeting is about building a relationship, finding common ground and developing rapport. Making the team member feel comfortable and using the knowledge you already have to create a warm atmosphere where the discussion can be open and developmental.

The conversation is central to a good appraisal, it is not about being led by the paperwork. Asking the right questions and listening to the answers without interrupting and remembering whose agenda the meeting belongs to. Keep in mind the 80:20 rule, and use techniques to keep the person talking, this is their appraisal not yours as a Manager.

Limit the paperwork, you only really need one form at the most. The employee to complete something before the meeting to give structure. The Manager to make notes during the conversation, however not to fill in the form as this will definitely break the magic.

“Show Off” as an employee this is your time to shine. Bring examples of work that you are proud of and time where you worked well with team members. Owning your own self development and knowing where you want to go with your career.

Feedback is vital from both parties. Acknowledging what has gone well and acknowledging projects that could have been tackled differently. Good idea to use a framework whether it be positive or constructive, look at the elements you want to talk about. We call it an SBI:-

Situation – what happened and when?

Behaviour – how did you respond and react?

Impact – was it positive or could you have done it differently?

The appraisal is not just about the years performance you can also talk about career development. The future is incredibly inspiring and it would be limiting to just talk about where the employee was now. Hopes and dreams are in the future.

The appraisal is a motivational exercise and the employee should leave on a high with a clear idea of where their future is heading.

Please do get in touch if you would like a workshop on “How to get the best out of Appraisals…?” bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in Bite size learning, Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, personal impact, Relationships

How to never eat alone…?

Keith Ferrazzi wrote the book “Never eat alone” back in 2005 it laid out the steps and the inner mindset he uses to reach out to colleagues, friends and the thousands of people who have helped him. Originally the books was going to be called “You can’t get there alone”

Ferrazzi was the son of a steelworker and a cleaner who wanted him to have the best start. He was able to advance to Yale, Harvard and several top executive posts. The most remarkable part of his achievements was the network he created from Washington to Hollywood.

His form of connecting was based on the generosity of helping friends connect with other friends. He distinguishes this as genuine relationship building not the crude glad-handing associated with networking.

These are just some of his thoughts and tips:-

  • No-one can achieve their goals without others
  • To build relationships over a lifetime – you will need intimacy, generosity, candour and accountability.
  • You can’t get very far alone.
  • Treat your life as one big event, relationship building (not networking)
  • Give before you receive
  • Follow up quickly within 12 or 24 hours of that initial meeting
  • Be you
  • Be of service – “how can I help you…?”

The book is divided into four sections which give you a great compass as to how to get to the level of relationship building of Ferrazzi.

  • The mind-set
  • The skill-set
  • Turning connections into compatriots
  • Trading up and giving back

To understand more about the book, please do come to the nuggets book club this week, for more details please get in touch bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in coaching, Emotional Intelligence, mindfulness, personal impact, Relationships, Stress management

Speaking to yourself as you would to a friend…

I recently reviewed the book “The Kindness Method” by Shahroo Izadi who explains how harsh we are on ourselves. She says you would not be that fierce with a friend so why are we with ourselves. This morning I came across this story which completely reinforces her theory.

In his book, Feeling Great, Dr. David Burns recounts a conversation with a carpenter, Frank, who was painting his house. One day, upon returning home, Dr. Burns noticed a change in Frank’s usually sunny disposition and asked if he was feeling alright.

“I’m getting old,” he confessed, fighting back tears. “My body won’t be able to keep up the same pace for much longer. I’m worried that I might not have enough money to support my wife and me when I retire. “I’ve never accomplished anything meaningful or significant in my life.”

Feeling bad for Frank, Dr. Burns asked if he could try something helpful called the double standard technique.

Here’s how he describes it,

“When we’re upset or fall short of our goals, we tend to beat up on ourselves with harsh criticisms. But if we were talking to a dear friend with the same exact problem, we’d do so in a far more compassionate, supportive, and realistic way. Once you’re aware of this, you can ask yourself if you’d be willing to talk to yourself in the same compassionate way you’d talk to a dear friend.”

After asking what he would say to a friend in his position, Frank replied that he would remind that friend that he and his wife would have a decent retirement and be fine even if he decided to retire someday. Moreover, he would assure his friend that he had never once received a complaint about his work, not even once, nor had he ever cheated anyone—and that’s as meaningful as it is significant.

Much to Frank’s surprise, his sadness wasn’t caused by his age, nor his fear of financial hardship come retirement, but rather, his negative thoughts.

The story resonates for the times we are in at the moment we all need to be kind to each other and give more feedback than usual. We need to give authentic praise that has true value within it. Say what the person has done well, but substantiate with evidence and make it specific to that individual. Most importantly try giving yourself some value based praise, we all need a boost.

Please do get in touch with nuggets for a short workshop or coaching by contacting bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in Bite size learning, Emotional Intelligence, mindfulness, personal impact, Relationships

Spinning “role” plates…

Do you know how many roles and titles you have in life? If you imagine some spinning plates with all of them labelled with your roles in life you would get a sense of your life. We invest time in certain roles and then sadly as we over invest on certain plates others may wobble and some may sadly crash to the floor.

We have to carefully keep them all spinning with a steady and calm momentum in order to help our own mental well being.

The starting point is to work out what roles we have:-

  • Mother
  • Daughter
  • Sister
  • Friend
  • Work colleague
  • Line Manager

You will notice that I have included your work roles as well as our life roles. We all put on a certain demeanour depending on the role we are playing and therefore we need to see the full extent of our plates. By including all your roles you get a sense of scale and the emotional investment you are going to need.

It is hard work to keep it all spinning, but life is better if the rotations are calm and steady. I have these last few days only been spinning one and I find that I have lost touch with who I am. Just focusing on that one role has in a way left me slightly disarmed as to who I am.

My spinning will begin again this week and luckily none of my plates were totally neglected so I will not be sweeping up crockery, however it has been a wake up call as to who I am and my many roles.

Please do get in touch with identifying your roles in life bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in Bite size learning, Emotional Intelligence, mindfulness, Relationships

Marble jar friends…

This Friday we will be reviewing the best selling book “Dare to Lead” by Brene Brown.

The story from the book I want to share is about trust which features in both books Daring Greatly and Dare to Lead. It explores why we have low trust in organisations and sometimes with our friends. Working from home we can feel isolated so how do we reach out and show that we are still very much there for our friends and colleagues and build trust.

Brown describes a system that her daughter’s school teacher created called the marble jar. If the class as a group made a good decision they had a marble added to a clear jar that was visible to all of them. If they made a bad decision then the marble was taken out. The transparency of the marbles showed whether the classroom had a good “vibe”, was it a nice place to be.

In the book Brown’s daughter comes home from school after an incident where some of her friends shared something she did not want them to share. Brown used the marble jar as an example and asked her daughter – “Who are your “Marble Jar Friends?” She asked her daughter to talk about the “Marble Jar Friends” and say what had they done to earn her trust and friendship, (and a marble).

Her daughter came back with the smallest of ways:-

  • saving a seat at lunchtime
  • remembering the names of her grandparents

Brown found this a revelation that Trust is not gained by the big gestures in can be incremental as above, and it can be the small behaviours that will matter the most.

In her research Brown said that participants described trust as slow building and a layered process that happens over time. The chicken and egg scenario- do we need to trust to be vulnerable or do we need to be vulnerable in order to build trust.

Think over the last month what have your friends done that have earned marbles in your jar of accumulating trust. Colleagues may well have reached out to you even though they are not in your team, but just wanted to put a marble in your jar.

If you are leader how many marbles do you give out and do you track the marbles you receive from your team. Trust underpins all of our relationships so get with the currency of marbles…

Please do come to the book club this Friday @ 10.00am, send me an email and I will get you booked in bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in Bite size learning, coaching, Emotional Intelligence, Goals, mindfulness, motivation, Relationships

Colourful coaching…

At nuggets we deliver colourful coaching, a visual map of the clients words and their thinking by using different coloured post-it notes.

I qualified as a CTI Co-active coach and was very happy with the techniques, however I wanted to put my nuggets stamp on it. I have worked with Coaches myself and the ones that resonated with me were the ones who used visuals.

Not everyone is visual although everyone needs a reminder a memory snapshot for the coaching to be effective. Coaches make notes during or after the session and sometimes they capture the essence, my belief in the colourful coaching methodology is that it works brilliantly as it is in the here and now.

Coaching is all about the quality of listening and being sure to hear the words the client uses, just a change of one word can alter a meaning. Using the word “rubbish” and “terrible” definitely have different levels of impact. We listen with our eyes and our heart and can ask about the emotion behind the words but only at the right moment.

The relationship between the coach and the client is like a dancing partner. The client always chooses the dance and always leads the dance, however the coach is there as a partner on the dance floor. As a partner you can help navigate around other people on the dance floor and ask how they are feeling and if they are enjoying the dance or do they want to do another. The rhythm and movement of the coach and client must be comfortable and enjoyable.

The best coaches are the ones that are outside of the company and industry, the lack of knowledge is beneficial in giving guidance and opinion when appropriate that does not come with any hidden agenda. “You can reach for the stars” in a coaches eyes as they do not have a vested interest in your performance they are being paid to coach you, so that you can reach the potential you desire.

Colourful coaching is one hour and currently via Zoom. The first two sessions need to be within a fortnight of each other so that rapport is established, and going forward the Client can determine how often they need to meet up. In the virtual world of Zoom it is advisable to meet more often.

Using a board the post-it notes are displayed behind the coach creating a journey of the session. The board acts as a great summary and most importantly a record of the session. Photos of the post-its are sent to the client.

We ask before the next session the client sends their nuggets and actions. nuggets are the key learnings which will make the most difference.

The cost of colourful coaching is £100 and we would love to start working with you on any of the following or something that is relevant to you now:-

  • How to be effective working from home…? self motivation/discipline
  • Beating procrastination and being effective
  • Self confidence
  • New to Leadership
  • Presentation coming up – want some guidance on how to have impact
  • Career change

Please do get in touch bev@nuggetoflearning.co.uk