Posted in Bite size learning, Decision Making, Emotional Intelligence, Goals, Relationships, Stress management, Time management

Getting ready for the “C” word…

The “C” word being Christmas.

The countdown to Christmas begins this Friday and it is like any other project it needs to be managed and the focus of what it means to you, must not be lost.

Stephen Covey’s time management exercise “What matters most” is a great way of looking at Christmas.  Covey invites delegates to squeeze big rocks into gravel.  The big rocks represent “what matters most in life” and the gravel is just “stuff” e.g. work.

The only way the exercise works is to put the big rocks in place first and then pour the gravel on top.   Delegates have been known to sweat profusely trying to squeeze rocks into gravel.  This feels uncomfortable and to be honest is how life feels when you lose focus on the things that matter most.

Focus on Christmas and work back, ensure you are spending it with the people who matter most and get all the “stuff” into perspective.

We have all done the Christmas Eve shop and regretted it afterwards when the person you care about most is surprised and disappointed.

The biggest rock at the moment is Christmas, so therefore make it your priority.

Please do get in touch for workshop on Time Management bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

 

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Posted in Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, personal impact, Relationships, Stress management

Resilient Pink…

The media is awash since the Harvey Weinstein of abuse cases and how do you determine the line that people cross.

My own experiences has measured my thoughts around appropriate and inappropriate.

In my early 20’s I went for an interview to work with a very well successful businessman.  With hindsight this first introduction to him should have been a warning of what was to come, the level of control.  I was asked to wipe off my lipstick (my trademark bright pink).  This felt very odd, and I had lots of time to reflect on this instruction as I was left in a room for a very long period to wait for the “big man”.  Looking back I think I was being watched and the whole situation was a test.

I got the job without the lipstick which I was still advised to hold back on.

The prestige of working for the company and the man himself let me initially enjoy the situation.  It became apparent that it was not business as normal.  Five secretaries to one PA, could easily tell you that we were just ever slightly over manned.

We would be rewarded with money for carrying a brief case, however in the process the wandering hands went too far.  Sex toys would be placed on our desks to see our reaction, and I was particularly naive.

I left after  6 months and the first thing I did was make sure my lipstick was brighter than ever.  The resilient pink continues and I know where the line is for me.

I ask myself would I want my daughter to be humiliated and lose confidence due to an individual who believed fame and money would protect him.

Arriving at meeting last week there was lots of banter about whether we could greet each other with hug.  I laughed with the group, however I was delighted that there is now thinking around personal space.  My own example is somewhat extreme, however there are levels within everything and there is always a line to cross or not to cross.

We can create a better place and be resilient with or without pink lipstick.

Posted in Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, Management, Relationships

Knowledge Vs Wisdom

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit and wisdom is knowing that it does not go in a fruit salad.

Knowledge is your IQ (intelligence quotient), your data and facts that you have acquired.  Wisdom is your EQ (emotional quotient), the application and , how well you do something and it is appropriate.

Therefore going into leadership we need more wisdom than knowledge and we must not be intimidated by millennials with bags of current knowledge.  Wisdom is maturity of the mind, knowing what works and what does not work.  As parents we can steer our children’s behaviour by dipping into our wisdom far more than knowledge.

  • Knowledge is knowing how to manage your money by budgeting, spending and saving
  • Wisdom is understanding how money impacts the quality of your life and your future

If you were to use knowledge vs wisdom as an equation to everything you do as the example above demonstrates, you can evaluate the knowledge accumulation.  Where will knowledge take you and how will you apply it.  We sometimes do tasks for the sake of doing them, recording expenditure is a good example.  If you never apply any wisdom to the sums recorded you will not have used knowledge and wisdom as a formula.

Knowledge is a tool, and wisdom is the craft in which the tool is used

Leadership is leaning far more towards wisdom, applying and just knowing whether something is right or wrong.  Past life experiences will determine whether an individual is taking the best path.

Knowledge is knowing what to say and Wisdom is knowing when to say it.

For a leadership workshop please do take a tour of website www.nuggetsoflearning.co.uk  and contact bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk 

Posted in Bite size learning, Emotional Intelligence, personal impact, Relationships

Getting your message across…

Knowing when to communicate and how to get a message across effectively is a skill in the digital age that we now live in. To cement relationships we need to steer away from the easy option.

The communication needs to be valid and memorable. Therefore we need to plan and prepare as we would with other forms of work.

The story below highlights the need for communication to be personable:-

A man and his wife had been arguing all night, and as bedtime approached neither was speaking to the other. It was not unusual for the pair to continue this war of silence for two or three days, however, on this occasion the man was concerned; he needed to be awake at 4:30am the next morning to catch an important flight, and being a very heavy sleeper he normally relied on his wife to wake him. Cleverly, so he thought, while his wife was in the bathroom, he wrote on a piece of paper: ‘Please wake me at 4:30am – I have an important flight to catch’. He put the note on his wife’s pillow, then turned over and went to sleep.
The man awoke the next morning and looked at the clock. It was 8:00am. Enraged that he’d missed his flight, he was about to go in search of his errant wife to give her a piece of his mind, when he spotted a hand-written note on his bedside cabinet.
The note said: ‘It’s 4:30am – get up.’

Think how often you communicate with people during the day.  You write emails, create reports, prepare presentations, debate with your colleagues and chair meetings.  We spend an entire day communicating. To provide clear messages and ensure they are received use the 7 C’s as a checklist:-

  1. Clear – ensure you have included all the relevant information
  2. Concise – stick to the point
  3. Concrete – does your message land – does it convey passion
  4. Correct – no spoilers, good messages can be ruined by grammatical errors
  5. Coherent – logical flow
  6. Complete – call to action, what is next…?
  7. Courteous – friendly, open and honest

Please do contact nuggets for a Communication Toolkit workshop www.nuggetsoflearning.co.uk 

Posted in Bite size learning, coaching, Emotional Intelligence, personal impact, Relationships

Developing emotional intelligence…

What we achieve is a marker of success, however how you conducted the business will stay in the memory a lot longer. Whether you gain repeat work is often decided on whether the interaction was pleasant. Retention of teams is down to how well a leader deploys their emotional intelligence and whether you want to continue working with them.

The good news is that we can work on your emotional intelligence and make it relevant and practical. If you use the five concepts from Daniel Goleman’s research:-

  • Self Awareness
  • Self Motivation
  • Self Management
  • Social Awareness
  • Relationship Management

1. Self Awareness – “What shadow do you cast?”

What memory do you leave in peoples minds, do you cast a really good impression of who you are. Is every interaction with you consistent and therefore when people meet who have met you in other separate situations they have the same view.

2. Self Motivation – “What gets you out of bed?”

The drive to push you forward comes from within, you don’t need a line manager, telling you the way. Clear goals and a future plan, always self directed.

3. Self Management – “When to react and when not to?”

Managing your hot buttons and being emotional when appropriate and being aware of slippage of inappropriate outbursts.
4. Social Awareness – “What signals are you picking up?”

Being emotionally astute you will know when some-one wants to talk and when they don’t. Getting really skilled at “reading the signals”. People often indicate they want to connect with you through their body language and not verbally, so you need to be aware of all the indicators.

5. Relationship Management – “What frequency are they on?”

Understanding some-one else takes a relationship to another level and this happens when you use empathy. Stephen Covey describes this as “Seek first to understand before being understood”.

We can measure our emotional intelligence by simply giving yourself a score out of 10 each week in each of the five areas.   You will know where to develop and breaking them down you can accept slippage and learn from it.

To demystify emotional intelligence attend a workshop with nuggets and take a look at our website for how we work with companies www.nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, personal impact, Relationships

Exposure of you…

I am not talking a streak through the office, there are other ways to get yourself noticed.

Studies show that we need to fit into the environment we work in, so the more you do within that space the more your face will fit.

Harvey Coleman studied the reasons why people get promotion and how in general individuals can feel empowered.  The results were set into three categories:-

  • Performance
  • Image
  • Exposure

If you perform exceptionally well at your job, you cultivate a great image and you are known by all the right people you will be successful.

Exposure or visibility equated to 60% of the success factor to getting promotion, so what they know about you before has the greatest impact.

Image follows on 30% and performance brings up the rear at 10%.  Obviously if you got the promotion and could not do the job you would ultimately be caught out.

In the meantime how can we make exposure practical:-

  • Take on more responsibility within your role
  • Volunteer for internal projects
  • Get involved in community projects
  • Participate in company sponsored activities
  • Visibly demonstrate a team player attitude
  • Be willing to learn new skills and experience different situations
  • Attend social events organised by the office
  • Be a fire marshal/first aider
  • Put yourself forward as team representative

So before you take off any clothes, have a look at the list above and take a more practical step to working your exposure.  Ensure you remain true to who you are and your values and most importantly be authentic.

For a worksop on empowering yourself please contact bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

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Posted in coaching, Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, Relationships

Evoke Transformation

Working as a coach you can get right to the end of the session before you get to that transformational moment.

When you start on a journey with a client you want to get to that point where you evoke transformation.  The client recognises a new way of seeing a situation their thinking changes and they can see a new response.

We get trapped in our daily rituals and don’t often have fresh eyes on changing our routine.  A coach challenges your thinking and gets you to change the status quo.

As a coach you must always trust that your client is naturally creative, resourceful and whole as a person.  They always have the answers you ask the questions to unlock their thoughts to evoke change.

The agenda belongs to the client and you follow as the trusted guide.  You are responsible in this role, and challenge only where appropriate.

The coach must ensure accountability around any change, you want to see progression so therefore actions must be held to account.

Acknowledging progress and championing the clients achievements is essential for motivation and relationship building.

The coach is responsible for articulating the thoughts of their client and constantly reflecting using their words where their journey is taking them.

As a client and a coach to evoke transformation is very uplifting.

Please do get in touch for 1:1 coaching bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

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