Posted in Bite size learning, coaching, Emotional Intelligence, mindfulness, personal impact, Stress management

Managing “You”

Have you ever heard the voices in your head as you reach for the doughnut.  One is clearly saying go for it, you deserve it, the other is saying do not eat it.

Dr Steve Peters the author of the Chimp Paradox explains who the voices are and how to keep on top of them.  We have the Chimp speaking from our limbic brain, with its basic reactive response and its short term view.  The other voice is our Human mind is the prefrontal area which is thinking of consequences and evidence and taking a long term view. The other area of the mind which will guide both of them is the computer, where memories are stored.  This will let you know how good the doughnut tasted last time, and equally how guilty you felt afterwards.

The Chimp only provides suggestions and we must remember these are not actions to follow.  The key is to always manage the Chimp.

The book provides 4 strategies for doing so:-

  1. Exercise it – let your emotions out with someone you trust
  2. Reward it – give your Chimp a banana, if I get this done we will do this (eg. eat the doughnut)
  3. Box it – use your Human brain to work with the Chimp, evaluate suggestions
  4. Distracting it – count to 10 backwards, this prevents the Chimp being reactive it pauses it

There are many mind management systems out there to manage your emotions however not many have such successes attributed to them.  Dr Steve Peters worked with the British cyclists Sir Chris Hoy, Sir Bradley Wiggins and Victoria Pendleton.

For more help on working out your responses please do work with nuggets as a personal coach or delivering a 90 minute course to your team.

http://www.nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in coaching, Goals, Leadership, Stress management, Time management, training

Think in heartbeats not in minutes…

 

Think in heartbeats not in minutes…

Best work gets done when it needs to be done. You have to want it desire it and be ruthlessly intolerant. Only YOU are accountable to set money targets but also set time targets.

Success is about behaviour and only YOU can choose or alter it.

Your goals and your success are congruent to your behaviour, it is only YOU that pours in the levels of energy or enthusiasm.

Look at your week and think about what you want to achieve, see it visually on a white board with targets money and time.

Personalise some daily disciplines: –

  • Touch your toes for every year of your life
  • Eat at least two pieces of fruit every morning
  • Spend 6 minutes on social media everyday

Self-imposed routines should be as BIG as imposed

Respect your own time and others: –

  • Schedule calls no-one likes an unexpected call
  • Shut the door
  • Honour commitments
  • Make it happen

“Say yes to the universe today not tomorrow…!”

What should be done?

If you grade your tasks A/B & C what do they tell you?

  • A s will make the difference today and tomorrow
  • B s are the day to day stuff
  • C s never get done

Stop doing 

  • I don’t have to reply to every e-mail
  • Stop thanking people on twitter for following you

“Today ain’t over till tomorrow is planned”

“You will never get all of it done…”

“Success never comes in a straight line”

Recognise the things you can do best and let the other things go.

  • Think about using a Virtual Assistant
  • Bunch calls
  • Consciously plan your diary, take control and protect yourself

Time vampires

  • Liberate customers that sap your time
  • Always have an end time on your appointments

For more time saving tips, please contact bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

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Posted in Change management, coaching, Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, mindfulness, motivation, Stress management

Love & Fear

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We watched Frank Skinner on demand, who said he had heard somewhere that there are only two emotions love & fear…

At first I was thinking don’t be ridiculous we have a raft of emotions and that is what makes us human.  However most emotions you have can be categorised between the love and fear scale. On further investigations I found the quote below from Elisabeth Kubler-Ross:-

“There are only two emotions: love and fear. All positive emotions come from love, all negative emotions from fear. From love flows happiness, contentment, peace, and joy. From fear comes anger, hate, anxiety and guilt. It’s true that there are only two primary emotions, love and fear. But it’s more accurate to say that there is only love or fear, for we cannot feel these two emotions together, at exactly the same time. They’re opposites. If we’re in fear, we are not in a place of love. When we’re in a place of love, we cannot be in a place of fear.” Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Working with a Client last week I saw how valid this quote is from Kubler-Ross, loving your job and equally fearing that you will be found out.  I still often feel that we are all pretending – “playing offices” – the fear of being found out can override the love of your job if you don’t manage your emotions. Relationships are formed on a platform of love and fear, and getting the balance between the two is possibly the most successful and effective.  Too much love might lead to complacency and the fear that they might leave makes you try that little bit harder.  We should have the same healthy mix with our employers and clients. Both are consuming and powerful and we can deploy as much or as little as we desire. Measure your love and fear for the week, and see where is the healthiest place for you to be. Please do contact http://bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk/ for further details on workshops and coaching.

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Posted in Leadership, motivation, personal impact, Relationships, Stress management

“How to be savvy…?”

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What does savvy mean?  The dictionary definition is “shrewdness and practical knowledge, especially in business”

In reality what does it mean to you?  – the individuals who are ahead of the game know the right people and know how to get things done and can navigate around any corporate system or process.

Savvy individuals have limitless knowledge and a good eye of the best routes to success.  They keep a close eye on their priorities and know whether they are known by whom they want to be known by.

How to be savvy…?

  1. Priorities – you must know in life – what matters most? Stephen Covey uses the prioritisation matrix with the mantra – Put first things first.  There is stuff in the world all the time, by having really good systems you won’t miss anything, according to David Allen (the author of Getting Things Done) He describes the system as “buckets”- there is one for the following:-
    • Projects
    • Annual
    • Monthly
    • Weekly
    • Daily.
  2. As individuals we need to be professionally savvy, we can understand this best, by always asking the question “What shadow do I cast…?”. We can also look at survey by Harvey Coleman on promotional success criteria. The criteria is
    • Visibility – what do they know about you before they meet you?
    • Image – what do they see? not just you/your office & desk etc…
    • Job – what do you do?
  3. HarveyTo be savvy in business we need to be wide awake and aware of what is happening in our organisation and beyond.

Savvy

  • Contextually savvy = alert to external factors and macro trends
  • Organisationally savvy = understanding of the culture internally
  • Business savvy = how do we make money? – commercial health

Please do contact Bev Wilkinson if you would your team to experience a workshop on “Being Savvy”

bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Posted in Bite size learning, coaching, Emotional Intelligence, Relationships, Stress management

How to work with others…?

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We establish a relationship with everyone, be it the postman, colleagues, your family and clients.

We don’t often think before the relationship begins how we want to “BE” before it starts. The more transitory the less of a need to analyse. My relationship with my postman is bright and breezy and works perfectly.

Last week I had an interaction with a decorator which as a relationship was never going well even from the start. If we had both labeled what we wanted out of the relationship maybe the outcome would have been different.

I wanted a professional service with minimal disruption to our family life.

We can guess the decorator wanted to be paid fairly and with minimal input from the client and a nice atmosphere to work in.

Deadlines have not been met, and over familiarity at the beginning makes it hard to establish what is fair. We never established what we both wanted from our relationship.

Labelling a relationship as a separate entity and saying how do you want to BE with in it, is a great way of contracting with each other and working together. Even if you cannot say it out loud to the other person, think about anyone you come into contact with – how do you want to BE with them…?

By viewing the relationship as a thing on its own you can look from 3 positions as to what you want to resolve or achieve going forward.

  1. Your position – you know what you need
  2. Their position – think about what they need
  3. Relationship – what does it need

Needs give you clarity and a path to move forward.

If I think back to my situation I wanted to be welcoming as a client however I should have given clear boundaries and clearer deadlines. We often forget to be as professional outside of work as in.

Please contact bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk for a workshop on working with others.

We deliver 90 minutes of learning and coaching for professional services.

www.nuggetsoflearning.co.uk 

 

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Posted in Decision Making, Emotional Intelligence, mindfulness, Problem solving, Relationships, Stress management

How to take responsibility…?

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Take full responsibility for everything that happens to you in life is the difference between being the “driver or the passenger”.

In the book “Monday Morning Leadership” by David Cottrell – Jeff  the main character arrives for his first mentor session with Tony.  He is late and blames the weather and traffic etc… Tony explains that in life there will always be rain or traffic, you make adjustments, you leave earlier or you find another route.

“What happens when you place blame is that you focus on the past, when you accept responsibility, you focus on this time forward on the future.  You accept total responsibility”

If you eliminate blame from your vocabulary then you will start to make positive changes.

Knowing and implementing are two different things.  I have my own business so I am the driver, however I know taking full responsibility for where we go and what we do can be exhausting.  Responsibility comes with choices and ultimately decisions.  Stephen Covey explains that the word responsibility is split in two – it is always are ability to choose a response and put together equals responsibility.

I cannot blame budgets in organisations or economic downturns I have to take responsibility for creating products and services that are more accessible to the market.  I change the destination, not the driver.

Until you accept total responsibility – no matter what – you will not be able to put plans in place to accomplish your goals.

For a 90 minute workshop on “Responsibility – Be the driver not the passenger” please contact bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

www.nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Photo this week is courtesy of Sophie Wilkinson (homemade cake with nugget branding)

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Posted in Change management, Emotional Intelligence, mindfulness, motivation, Stress management

Creating a different perspective on work…

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I took a week off work last week and focused on physical tasks rather than mental tasks.

We have lived in our house for 10 years so it needed a repaint, an industrial clean in certain areas.  It was a very good workout and not that dissimilar to the business.

  • What needed to be thrown away? – which areas of the business are not generating income?
  • What needed to be repainted? – what products and services needed to be refreshed?
  • Which rooms needed to be cleaned? – which Clients have you not visited for a long time to chat through work?
  • Each room had a list of actions? – Each client and project should have a list of actions

Back in the office this morning and feel clearer about what I need to achieve.

Did some very simple coaching on myself to work out the focus short term between now and Christmas.

Write down the roles you have in life and give them a score and decide between now and Christmas which ones you need to improve.

Please find mine below as a guide:-

NOW                     DECEMBER

Mother = 8           10

Wife = 7                9

Sister = 8              9

Daughter = 8         9

Friend = 7              9

Nuggets MD = 8    10

Another very simple exercise is to create a pie chart of where you are spending your time now and where you want to be spending your time by December.

Crude drawings of the percentages are enough to see whether your focus is correct.  I currently want to make a switch from doing more delivery which will mean less time at home, which is where the business needs to go.

Taking time out to properly recharge gives you a new focus and a clearer direction.

For a new look at your business, work with a coach. Please contact bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk for more details.

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