Posted in Bite size learning, Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, mindfulness, motivation, personal impact, Relationships

Start with Why…?

The title of Simon Sinek’s bestselling book first published in 2009.  It is coming up to its 10th Anniversary and Sinek is running a live book club every Friday for people to ask questions around the content.  As it is the 10th anniversary he is also going to update the book.

Start with why seems very real and pertinent when we are all in lock down.  We have time to answer a lot of Whys?

  • Why do we do the job we do?
  • Why did we do that long commute day after day?
  • Why is working from home such challenge?

The emphasis of the book is not what you do or how you do it but why you do it?

The why is within all of us we just need to find it.

At this time when we are worried about the stability of our mental health we need to look at how the brain works in conjunction with our Why?

What we do is a neocortex function, practical and easy to understand, you do what you do without much challenge or feeling.  How you do things and why you do them is connected to our limbic brain where all our emotional responses come from.

Think about your line manager do you believe what he or she believes? Do you work together because of what you do or is it because of why you do it.

Please take a look at the Why questions if you are working and if you are not working and you have been furloughed still take time to answer the questions:-

  • Why does your company exist?
  • Why do you get out of bed in the morning?
  • Why should anyone care?

Why is your purpose whether it be a company or an individual.  At the moment people our getting out of bed to home school or they might be providing a service for their company (do they know why it matters).

Please do join me this Friday for nuggets business book review club where we will be discussing “Start with Why” by Simon Sinek

You are invited to a Zoom meeting.
When: Apr 24, 2020 10:00 AM London

Register in advance for this meeting:
https://zoom.us/meeting/register/tJIrcOygpjsvGtNJgr81klMybc3VxM5CwqPL

There is no need to have read the book and as a refresher or those that our new to the concept have a look at his original TED talk https://www.ted.com/talks/simon_sinek_how_great_leaders_inspire_action?language=en

 

 

 

 

Posted in Bite size learning, coaching, Emotional Intelligence, Learning, motivation

Not yet…

You didn’t fail you just have “not yet” achieved what you wanted to achieve.  “Not yet” is so much better than the message you have failed.

We are currently facing many new challenges and we have to keep saying its “not yet” how I want it to be, but I am going to keep working hard until it is how I want it.

This power of thinking comes from Professor Carol S Dweck who wrote the book Mindset.

She explains how children approached some difficult puzzles she set up for them.  A group of them came out with statements:-

  • “I love a challenge”
  • “I was hoping this was going to be informative” 

She was impressed by the understanding that the harder they worked the more their mind would grow.

However other children gave up and did not want to fail so it was easier not to attempt harder puzzles.

This is the basis of the book, adopting a Growth Mindset or having a Fixed Mindset.

Students either find the power of yet or are locked by the tyranny of now.  If you have a fixed mindset and you don’t do very well you may well:-

  • Decide to cheat rather than study
  • Find some-one with a worse grade than yourself
  • Run from the difficulty

Therefore if we are to grow the next generation we need to talk to them about yet instead of now.  We must not just focus on the grades they have now, we must talk to them about the bigger picture, the possibilities that they have yet to get to.

Evidence shows already that young workers often look for constant reward.  To prevent this in organisations we need to be praising the process, focus and perseverance they have demonstrated not just the result.   Research shows that if we do praise talent and intelligence in isolation we can actually make the individual vulnerable.  We limit their stretch, they do not want to risk their reputation by putting themselves in areas where they do not know stuff.

If we learn something new and study really hard, pictures of the brain show that we actually create stronger neurones.

We need to transform the view of effort and difficulty, we should be praising individuals for exposing their lack of skill.

From a very personal experience I found reading very hard and it was easier to not look stupid than to work at it.  Eventually at the age of 10 years old I had a teacher who made me read out loud just to her and gave me the confidence I needed.  She rewarded my effort by giving me key roles in the classroom.  Suddenly the pain and difficulty of reading seemed possible and the doors that it opened were endless.

Please do join me on Friday for the nuggets business book review and summary club where we will be discussing Mindset by Carol S Dweck.

You are invited to a Zoom meeting.
When: Apr 17, 2020 10:00 AM London

Register in advance for this meeting:
https://zoom.us/meeting/register/upQtcumtpj0vZkeFvOhZeBQsHYDOjE1XUw

 

Posted in Bite size learning, Change management, coaching, Decision Making, Emotional Intelligence, mindfulness, personal impact, Relationships, Stress management

Focus on what you can control…

We can easily overwhelm ourselves by thinking what we can solve.  There is currently so much to think about, we must break it down and work out what is within our control.

Stephen Covey in his book the “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” uses the Circle of Concern and the Circle of Influence.  There are things we are concerned about and we need to work out whether we can influence them.  If we can do something eg. some form of influence it leaves your Circle of Concern.  It is like a mental in and out box.  What we have to be really careful of, is not letting things fester in a Circle of Concern that we cannot influence and thus making us feel mentally unstable.

My current examples:-

  • Currently I cannot see my Mum therefore I cannot spend everyday worrying about it, however I can see her every evening on House Party with my sisters. An example of a concern moved to influence.
  • I cannot come up with a vaccine for Covid 19 therefore I cannot let it sit in my Circle of Concern that needs to go outside my head into an area of No Concern.  I still care but if I can’t influence it will affect my mental well being.
  • My sons GCSE results are now outside mine or his influence so we have put them to one side in the areas of No Concern.

Amy Morin the author of “Insights from 13 things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do” says if we focus on what we can offer others we will stop:-

  • feeling sorry for ourselves
  • resenting other peoples success
  • feeling like we are owed something

Mentally strong people shift their focus to people in need, they look for ways to help others.  If we are busy doing good things we will stop focusing on a victim like mentality.

Within our own households we can focus on how we can make the time as pleasant as possible for them.  We can also reach out to our friends and family remotely still giving support.  In work we can adapt our services, reduce fees and be readily available.

She suggests getting a piece of paper and drawing a line down the middle.  Writing all the things above the line that you can’t control and below the line all the things you can control.  After you have finished the list, rip off the top of the paper and throw it away.

Even when you have your list of the things you can control, she says you must remember that people are a factor that you cannot completely control, so remember the following points:-

  • Stop dwelling on the past, a situation with a particular person
  • Stop wasting energy on the things you cannot control within that relationship
  • Stop giving people your power  (don’t let their opinions steer your direction)
  • Stop trying to please everyone

Uncertainty can be managed by focusing on what you can control.  Grab that piece of paper today whether you do the line down the middle or Covey’s circles, focus on what you have influence and control over.

Take care and stay safe and well, please do contact me at bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

 

Posted in Bite size learning, Decision Making, Goals, Learning, Time management

Timing is not an art its a science…

“We all know that timing is everything. Trouble is, we don’t know much about timing itself.” – Dan Pink

When is the worst time of the day?

The book written by Dan Pink uncovers some of the mysteries around time by using scientific evidence.  Here are some questions used in one of his recent talks about the book to give you the idea of “When” is the right time.

  • When should a CEO make an earnings call to investors?

We should all avoid the time between 2.00pm – 4.00pm and especially the unproductive time in the middle 2.55pm. This period Pink refers to as the “Trough”.  The studies show that CEOs are more likely to make mistakes on an earnings call in the afternoon.

  • When is a good time to ask for a pay rise?

Studies show that if your line Manager is returning just after a break they will be refreshed enough to make a more positive decision.  Pink based this on analysis of parole board decisions, prisoners repeatedly got a more favourable decision just after lunch than just before lunch as the peak of the morning wore off.

  • When should you start a new diet or exercise regime?

We use a temporal landmark this is a point in time that we naturally think of as an opportunity for a fresh start. These come in two forms: social temporal landmarks, dates that are seen as a fresh start by many people collectively (your birthday, anniversary etc) or New Year’s, or the other landmark is the start of a month, the start of a week, etc.  Pink describe it as  mental accounting of when to start your spreadsheet.

  • When are you most likely to run a marathon?

Our life is planned out in episodes and this pattern leads to endings and beginnings.  We are more likely to run a marathon at 29, 39, or 49 before we hit the big number.  We want to achieve something at the end of that chapter or episode.

Please do get in touch for further insights on timing bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

 

Posted in Bite size learning, Change management

What is everyone doing…

It has been a fascinating week to discover how people are adjusting to working from home and also the support they receive from their organisations.

Some of the gestures can be small and some so generous they restore your faith in the commercial world.

A company that has a “Freebie Friday” which is free chocolate and treats to all on Friday, sent every single team member bars of chocolate to their home address to say we are still together albeit remote.

Another company has given a grant to everyone to set up their home office.  They want to ensure that everyone is working comfortably.

Communication has been good with daily team meetings all with video links so at least everyone can see everyone.  This has led to sharing of photos of each others home office with the emphasis on funny.

One Director has sourced local food businesses encouraging employees who live near to support them.

These are all great positives and I am sure we will learn of more as the weeks continue, please do share with me at nuggets.

bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

 

Posted in Bite size learning

nuggets business book review club…

Every Friday we run a nuggets business book review and summary club.  We take 30 minutes to give a summary of the book and then ask some questions around what the book means and always share practical tips (nuggets).

If you wish to get stocked up here are the books and dates we will be covering:-

  • 1st May 2020 – The Present by Dr Spencer Johnson
  • 8th May 2020 – Bank Holiday 
  • 15th May 2020 – Atomic habits by James Clear
  • 22nd May 2020 – Black box thinking by Matthew Syed
  • 29th May 2020 – Daring greatly by Brene Brown
  • 5th June 2020 – Six thinking hats – Edward de Bono

The sessions are a way of connecting and sharing, there will be no charge, and we look forward to meeting you.

Look out for my updates on LinkedIn to find the registration via zoom or email me direct for the details bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

 

 

Posted in Bite size learning, Change management, coaching, Emotional Intelligence, motivation

Who moved my…

We are all experiencing change which always involves loss.  We have lost our routine, office and the immediacy of our colleagues.  The stages of change are as follows:-

  • Shock/surprise – we all experienced this last week
  • Denial – the questions in our head was this really happening
  • Frustration – the realisation of what the restrictions would mean
  • Despair/Depression – the reality and enormity of the situation
  • Experimentation – this will be this week, trying to work differently
  • Decisions – further ahead we may well decide to work this way forever
  • Integration – the experimentation and decisions have all come together

These stages come from the Elisabeth Kubler-Ross change curve and whilst I have listed them very straightforwardly they possibly will not flow in this way.  We will go through every stage however we might move backwards and forwards and there will be no guide as to how long we stay on the change curve.

The book “Who moved my cheese…” by Dr Spencer Johnson explains change in a more human and emotional context.  There are four characters in the book which you can all identify with.  There are two mice with small rodent brains who do not over analyse change and ride with the times and move with the change.  The two little people in the story Hem And Haw over think the change and experience fear of it and the world of uncertainty.

Hem is frozen by change and will not change his behaviour or try new thinking.  At the start of last week I felt very like Hem myself, I could not see how my business could move forward and like a lot of people felt emotional and panicked by the circumstances.

The character Haw faces his fear and moves forward, which is what I did by the mid point of the week.  My business can adapt to the circumstances and my behaviour, thinking can experience new challenges.  This is the beginning of the changes I am making:-

  • I have advised all my coaching clients that we will continue our sessions using zoom and whilst we won’t have 2 hours face to face, we can still see each other for an hour, and more often which will be more beneficial.
  • My 90 minute workshops are a great way to boost team morale and can also be delivered over zoom.
  • nuggets is also opening a business book review club that starts this Friday at 10.00am with the first book being reviewed “Who moved my cheese…”

Please do stay in touch with nuggets and let us know how we can help you adapt with the change.  bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Read “Who moved my cheese…” this week and join us on Friday to chat through which character you were and how your initiatives and thinking are going.

You are invited to a Zoom meeting. 
When: Mar 27, 2020 10:00 AM London 
 
Register in advance for this meeting: